Fearing for their children’s futures, parents search for universal parenting techniques that will put their kids on the route to a prosperous job and a happy life. But times are changing, and the old principles of success are no longer relevant. Sometimes, parents’ actions, intended to be helpful, can actually create challenges for their children’s future.
1. Not allowing their kid to fail
Perfectionist parent often strives for perfection themselves, leading them to expect increasing levels of perfection from their child as they grow older — from the child’s artwork never being good enough to their bed not being made perfectly or not studying hard enough. The child faces constant criticism and reprimands but is never allowed to learn from their mistakes. Children of perfectionist parents may grow up to be perfectionists themselves or develop low self-esteem and lack confidence. Both outcomes can negatively impact their future careers.
- Anna’s mother always compared her to Mary, saying, “Look how tidy Mary is compared to you, Anna!” Despite Anna’s efforts to emulate Mary, she never measured up, and her mother’s criticism only intensified. Anna’s mother never allowed her the chance to improve her habits and learn basic skills. Now at 25 years old, Anna still compares herself to others and always comes up short in her own eyes. Needless to say, this constant comparison has taken a toll on her self-esteem.
2. Paying a child for good grades
This topic remains a subject of debate, but consider this perspective: imagine yourself as a contractor continually paying more for a product or service, with the child as the supplier providing it in exchange for money or rewards. It doesn’t sound like a good idea, does it?
- Alexandra’s parents sought to motivate their daughter to excel in her studies by offering money as an incentive. Initially, Alexandra’s grades improved, suggesting the approach was effective. However, her parents later discovered that she had been fabricating stories about an imaginary illness and sharing them with her teachers. She even falsely claimed that her parents constantly criticized her for poor grades. The sympathetic teacher then raised Alexandra’s grades out of pity. Following this incident, Alexandra’s parents discontinued the practice of paying for grades and sought guidance from a child psychologist.
3. Preventing their child from expressing their feelings
Sometimes, adults dismiss a child’s feelings as wrong — insisting that bruises don’t hurt, feeling anger toward a child who hit them is shameful, or being sad even with a valid reason is incorrect. Parents often do this with good intentions, wanting to teach their children proper behavior. However, it’s crucial to recognize that a fundamental skill for modern individuals is the ability to acknowledge and manage their feelings, emotions, and needs.
- Kate, now 37, vividly remembers how her mother forced her to give away her beloved doll to another girl, admonishing her for being “greedy” and scolding her for getting upset over a “stupid toy.” Kate never got her doll back. Over the years, she has worked hard to assert herself, learning to say “no” to demanding people, including her boss and coworkers. Despite this, Kate often feels guilty whenever she refuses to comply with their requests.
4. Failing to support their child in front of strangers
Every child needs the assurance that their parents will stand up for them in any conflict, regardless of the situation, and won’t blindly trust the words of authority figures like teachers, principals, or neighbors. When parents allow their children to speak up for themselves when they are ready to take responsibility for their actions, it helps them develop healthy self-esteem and a sense of personal accountability.
- Maggy was raised by her grandmother, who often said, “But what will other people think?” Although her grandmother loved Maggy and wanted the best for her, she constantly emphasized the importance of public opinion. As a result, Maggy struggles to make her own decisions and even relies on her friends’ opinions when choosing something as simple as dessert.
5. Drawing inspiration and comparing to successful people
Each generation has its own set of heroes whom young people aspire to emulate. In recent decades, the tales of personal success from wealthy and influential individuals have become widespread. However, it’s not as simple as learning their life story and achieving happiness. If it were that easy, everyone who reads their books would have solved all their financial problems by now.
- Alex developed a passion for computers from a young age. Inspired by the story of Steve Jobs that his dad shared with him, Alex immersed himself in learning everything about Apple. When it came time to choose a university, Alex initially believed he didn’t need higher education because Steve Jobs succeeded without it. Eventually, Alex realized the importance of education for his path and pursued college to advance his career. Now, Alex jokes, “What worked for Steve Jobs is just a waste of time for an ordinary guy like me.”
6. Pressuring their child to decide on their future career
The notion that a person should stick to one career for their entire life is likely outdated and impractical. Many modern occupations didn’t exist a decade ago, while others have already become obsolete.
- Since childhood, Max had a passion for exploring computers and understanding various software programs. Despite his parents’ concerns, he pursued this interest and eventually discovered online courses in software testing. Now, he is thriving in this field, leveraging his potential and skills.
- Laura, at 37, worked as a sociologist for a major consulting firm but found it challenging to maintain her career after having her son. During maternity leave, she rediscovered her love for photography. Starting with unique photos of her child, Laura progressed to offering photoshoots for friends’ and acquaintances’ kids. Over time, she opened her photo studio. Laura now earns as much as her husband and successfully manages her professional life while caring for her family. This shift exemplifies the evolving nature of careers and the importance of embracing new opportunities.
7. Arguing about money
Since children may absorb long-lasting messages from these circumstances, it’s crucial to avoid arguing about money or other matters in front of them. Instead of one-on-one conflicts, which can cause youngsters to take sides and become distressed, talks should be led in a way that promotes involvement.
- Chris grew up witnessing his parents argue about money. When he went to college at 17 and moved away, he struggled with managing his finances and spending on unnecessary items. He now fears starting relationships, believing that money is the root cause of his sadness.
8. Prohibiting the child from using social networks
Social networks have become today’s equivalent of the yards and neighborhoods where we used to play as children. Kids can learn valuable skills through computer programs integrated with social media platforms. While parents should remind their kids about online safety rules, depriving children of this experience can be harsh.
- Aria’s mother was surprised to discover that her 10-year-old daughter had learned to create cool videos. Even more surprising was the realization that Aria had learned this skill from using TikTok. Now, creating short videos has become a family hobby for them.
9. Teaching the kid that they have the stuff at home
Many of us recall times when we asked our parents to buy us things, only to hear, “We already have that at home; we don’t need it.” Some parents repeatedly expose their children to such situations, unintentionally discouraging them from getting what they truly need. This pattern can significantly impact their financial habits as adults. On the other hand, constantly satisfying a child’s every need can also have negative effects.
- Jan’s mother often tells him they have things at home and they don’t buy them from the store. Jan has learned to overlook his needs, and with each subsequent request, he withdraws more, knowing not to ask. When Jan grows up and earns his income, money will go towards trivial things because that’s how he’s learned to live.
10. Preventing children from getting into conflicts
The ability to engage with others is perhaps one of the most crucial professional skills one can possess. It’s important not only to help children make friends but also to teach them how to engage in healthy arguments. People often hold differing opinions, and there are various ways to express emotions. The sooner children grasp this concept, the easier their interactions with others will be, including in professional settings.
- Michaela spent her life avoiding conflicts, preferring to agree with others rather than engage in disputes. She believed that someone always had to be the “smarter” one, but this approach proved more harmful than beneficial. One day, Michaela learned about active listening and decided to apply this approach in her professional life. She excelled at paying attention to others’ perspectives while also expressing her feelings when others attempted to take advantage of her. Initially, people found her communication style unconventional, but conflicts with coworkers became more constructive, leading to mutually beneficial resolutions.
11. Helping their child learn to save money
The world is always changing, and old ways of making or saving money might not work anymore. We can’t predict what skills will be valuable in the future economy. That’s why it’s important to teach kids to be flexible and ready for change, not just to save money.
- Emily’s grandfather saved money his whole life “just in case.” But when that “case” finally happened, a financial meltdown made all his investments lose value. Emily saw this while growing up, and now she’s worried the economy could collapse at any time. She believes the best investment is in her skills and knowledge.
12. Trying to build a strong character with the help of sports
While there’s a widespread belief that sports are beneficial for discipline and character development, excessive competitiveness in professional sports can be detrimental to a child’s physical and mental health. This competitiveness can be fueled by both fellow young athletes and coaches. Only a few individuals become champions, and coaches often prioritize these select few, neglecting the rest of the team. Coping with this unfair treatment at a young age can lead to low self-esteem and confusion about alternative life paths if a child must stop playing sports.
- Tom’s mother pursued rhythmic gymnastics as a child but had to abandon her Olympic dreams due to a leg injury. When Tom was three, his mother enrolled him in gymnastics classes, hoping he would excel. However, Tom struggled in this sport, leading him to lose interest in school, feel like a failure, and struggle to identify his strengths. Now, Tom is studying to become a child psychologist to help parents navigate the challenges of raising children without making the same mistakes.
Being protective of your children is natural, but it’s important to set boundaries. Respecting their privacy is crucial for a healthy parent-child relationship and their personal development. Violating their privacy can have serious negative effects, especially on their mental health.
Suri Cruise, The Daughter Of Katie And Tom Cruise Silently Changed Her Name
Now that she is eighteen, Suri Cruise has a lot of options, one of which is to discreetly alter her name.
One person who is able to legally talk about her father’s divorce from her is Katie Holmes, the famous couple’s daughter.
By changing her name, Suri Cruise, the daughter of Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise, made a significant transition toward adulthood. Suri recently turned eighteen and decided not to take the last name of her father.
Her performance in the Broadway musical “Head Over Heels” revealed this bold decision. In the play, she was purportedly Princess Philoclea, the part originally portrayed by Alexandra Socha in the Broadway production.
On the high school production’s casting form, she wasn’t identified as Suri Noelle. Katie Holmes’ full name is Kate Noelle Holmes, reflecting her desire to adopt her mother’s middle name.
Following the announcement of her choice, Suri was spotted carefree as she strolled through New York City. Wearing a pink blouse and white pants, Suri walked around muting the noise with her headphones on.
Furthermore, the name she now goes by differs significantly from the one on her original birth certificate. She was called Suri Cruise at birth and given her father’s well-known surname, according to the documents.
On May 8, 2006, the certificate was submitted to the Los Angeles County Clerk/Register-Recorder. It has a few peculiarities. Suri was born on April 18, but it took 20 days for the papers to be filed—that is, until May 8.
This was an unusually long delay because St. John’s Hospital typically files birth certificates within ten days of the baby’s birth. A hospital asserted that the certificate’s certification was not signed by a parent or other authorized signatory, which caused the delay. It’s noteworthy to observe that a “friend” has signed the certificate.The signature is still not readable.
Another peculiarity is the signature of the “Attendant or Certifier,” Anne Heffernan, RNC. Anne was not in the delivery room and she did not see the baby.
Although the signature of the attending physician is customary, it is not mandatory, according to hospital officials. Permission to sign in place of the doctor was granted to Heffernan.
Now that Suri Noelle is an adult, she can legally change her name because she is eighteen years old. It also gives her the courage to speak honestly about her thoughts on personal matters, like as her relationship with her father and his Scientology beliefs.
“Suri would have been too young to sign any agreement, but she will now be free to talk if she wants to, and it’s going to be really interesting if she has something to say,” stated veteran Scientology researcher Tony Ortega.
Tony went on to say that part of the reason Katie left Scientology at the age of six was because she would have seen the pain that Tom’s other children, Isabella and Connor, went through.
If Suri is prepared to share details of her personal life with the world, only time will tell. She is aware of the information that has previously been publicized regarding her connection with her father, as her parents are well-known A-list celebrities.
For the past three years, Suri and Tom’s tense relationship has been widely known. Until the daughter reached adulthood, the father and daughter were not together. When Tom was filming “Mission Impossible 8,” Suri was enjoying her birthday in the US, but they were hundreds of miles apart.
Tom’s sighting in London and Suri’s celebration in New York have previously been discussed. The 61-year-old actor, who loves flying helicopters as one of his favorite modes of transportation, grinned widely in the photo. On the other hand, Tom’s appearance sparked a lot of remarks from internet users.
“OMG. Mr. Tom Cruise, my all-time favorite, has a grandfatherly appearance. Already,” wrote a Facebook user. “Whoa! I didn’t recognize him,” said an additional person.Another person said, “This picture doesn’t look like him.” Another person commented, “Boy, he looks different.”Another aspect of Tom’s looks that some people noticed was that his hair color, which made him appear older.
On her birthday, Suri—who lives in New York with her mother—was spotted. The youngest and estranged daughter of the actor was spotted out and about in New York City with a pal on her birthday. She held a gift in her hands and was dressed in bootcut jeans and a denim jacket. And on a wet day, she carried a pink umbrella.
While many social media users noted how much Suri resembled her mother Katie, others had conflicting opinions about her appearance.
Gorgeous girl, she looks just like her mother, exclaimed a social media user.”Excellent! A replica of her mother,” concurred an Instagram user.Another person said, “Wow, she is her mom’s twin!”Another person said, “I assumed this was her mother.”
Other social media users caught sight of Suri’s umbrella for a variety of reasons.She doesn’t need much to have the ideal birthday celebration. An umbrella, some friends, and the rest will follow! She is a woman, our girl! powerful like her mommy!”Why is she using an umbrella for a four-year-old?” a user named X asked.Someone else made an inquiry.
“What is she wearing???” was a question left in a comment on Suri’s Instagram image by another fan of her sense of style. It appears that her mother gave her good taste in clothing.
A few days after her birthday, Suri was spotted with her mother again. The two were dressed casually and enjoying coffee. Even Vogue’s Twitter celebrated the two for their fashionable outfits, suggesting that they may appear in a Chloé advertisement.
Suri and her mother Katie have a strong and lasting bond because of their many years of shared experiences. Their relationship is an illustration of a robust and enduring mother-daughter bond.
Katie has always kept an eye on Suri. When she stated in 2017 that her child was the most important person in her life, she emphasized how essential the child’s upbringing was to her profession at the moment. She discussed how crucial it is to support her child and give them a safe, worry-free upbringing.
Though Katie felt lucky to be in her line of work, nothing could match the satisfaction of watching her child succeed. The actress tried to savor Suri’s formative years as much as she could.
Katie came to the painful realization that youngsters grow more independent every day. Even though she knew their inevitable parting would be horrible, she wanted to make sure Suri had all she needed before heading off on her own.
When Suri was fourteen years old, actress Leah Remini believed that Tom intended to wait to bring his daughter to Scientology. According to Leah, Katie was viewed by Scientology as a repressive person and an enemy.
This suggested that Tom didn’t think Katie and Suri could date. Leah also hinted that Tom wanted to grow older and lure Suri into Scientology in order to distance her from her mother.
Leah was shocked by Katie and Tom’s sudden breakup in 2012. She recalled Katie’s intense concentration on Tom’s Scientology environment. Leah did commend Katie, though, for prioritizing her daughter’s health.
Leah made a suggestion that perhaps an arrangement existed to keep Suri safe. She continued by expressing her gratitude to Katie Holmes for rescuing her daughter from a situation that would have damaged Suri and their bond.
However, speaking about the future, former Scientology spokesman Mike Rinder stated, “Suri is not and never will be a Scientologist.She is deserving of compassion and affection.
Over the years, Katie has been a loving and supportive mother to her daughter, offering consolation following a difficult childhood caused by her parents’ divorce. Suri will be able to take charge of her own life and make decisions on her own as she gets closer to maturity.
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