These days, young parents have tons of information about raising kids. There are books, websites, and experts offering advice on every little thing. They can even get consultations from specialists whenever they need. But our own parents didn’t have all that. They raised us based on what they knew and what they learned from their own parents. So sometimes, the way we were brought up can seem really different from what we’re told is best now.
1. Early marriage and parenthood go without saying.
In earlier generations, there was often pressure on young adults to marry and start a family at a relatively young age, and to have more than one child a couple of years after the start of the family. Today, there is more emphasis on personal and career development before settling down. And moreover some researches show that early marriage can lead to some family problems, like dissatisfaction with married life, experience of having lots of responsibility, lack of independence in family life.
2. A college education is an indicator of your status.
«You can’t find a good job without going to college!» Many people must have heard this when they were teenagers. And lots of us believed this, but now don’t even know where our college diploma is. More than 41% of people that finished college have jobs that don’t require this kind of education. Today, employers are more interested in the practical skills of their employees rather than their qualifications.
When you finish school, it may be wise to take a gap year to understand what you really want to do and decide if you actually need a college education.
3. Classes are good for kids’ development — the more, the better!
A very tight schedule can exhaust children, which is obviously not good at all.
Famous American teacher Douglas Haddad recommends that parents slow down and give their children time to discover their own talents, and then decide if they need additional forms of education.
4. Being plump is healthy.
Children that always finished their meals were praised, and being plump was believed to be healthy. But bad eating habits formed in childhood often result in weight problems and eating disorders.
5. Money can’t buy happiness.
We wish this were true, but life says otherwise: money can make you happier, no matter what other people say.
Parents should teach their children the basics of budgeting. This will help kids form the right habits in money management and reach financial success in their adult lives.
6. Not standing out from the crowd means being good.
Traditional parenting often enforced strict dress codes and grooming expectations, particularly regarding modesty and conformity to societal norms. This might puzzle us today as modern parenting encourages children to express themselves through their clothing, appearance and let them express their emotions fully.
7. Older children are responsible for younger ones.
Very often, older children had to spend a lot of time taking care of younger ones. Parents had to work a lot and there was no other choice. But older kids had to sacrifice their time with friends and hobbies for the needs of their younger siblings.
Psychologists say that sometimes when kids have to perform the duties of parents, it may lead to psychological problems: they might not want to have their own children.
8. Women are housewives and men are breadwinners.
In recent decades, gender roles are not as important anymore. Women today can build successful careers and men can go on paternity leave and manage things around the house.
9. There’s nothing more shameful for a woman than having children without a husband.
Wrong, again. Today, there’s nothing surprising about single mothers and they’re not frowned upon as they were 30 years ago. Very often, having a child without a husband is an informed decision made by a woman. More than that, in the past 30 years, the number of single fathers has increased 1.5 times.
10. Storks deliver babies.
Some topics were never discussed — like when kids asked where babies came from, parents often said that they were delivered by a stork. Because of this, young people would often get into their first relationship without any knowledge of their bodies. They only based things off of the advice they received from their friends and bits of information from books and films. All these experiences could lead to bad consequences, including problems with both physical and mental health.
11. Children should be seen and not heard.
In the past, children were often expected to remain quiet and obedient in the presence of adults. Modern parenting emphasizes the importance of children expressing themselves and their opinions, because self-expression is a vital component of a young individual’s growth. The development of self-esteem and confidence in children is frequently nurtured by their capacity to express their feelings with clarity and authenticity.
Every parent has their own way of raising children. Just like how every family has its own special traditions, parents have rules they think are best for their kids. Sometimes, famous people, like celebrities, also share their ideas about parenting. They might talk about what works for them and their families. But in the end, each parent decides what’s right for their own children, based on love and what they believe is best.
I Accidentally Heard My Mother-in-Law and Husband Conspiring to Keep Food Away from Me Because They Thought I Was Overweight
“Play dumb. And I’ll take all the food. I’m ashamed to have such a big daughter-in-law. She’s too fat,” Noele continued, her voice dripping with disdain.
I felt my heart shatter into a million pieces. Three years ago, I gave birth to our son at 40, and my body never bounced back.
I worked long hours to support our family, and I even helped Noele financially when she needed it. How could she say such hurtful things about me?
I put down my knitting and stared at the wall, trying to process what I’d just heard. Tears welled up in my eyes, but I blinked them away. I didn’t want to cry, not now.
My phone buzzed, pulling me out of my thoughts. I realized I had been staring into space, my mind replaying last week’s events when Noele visited us.
I didn’t know all the missing food was her doing. She was sneakily removing food from the fridge because she didn’t want a fat woman in her son’s life.
I took a deep breath and checked the phone. It was a message from Alexander, my husband.
It said: “Hey honey, don’t wait up. My friends are insisting I stay over for a little more time :)”
Lately, he always seemed to have an excuse to stay away. I wondered if it was because of my weight, too. Did he really see me as an elephant?
I put my phone down and wiped my eyes. I needed to stay strong for my son. He was the light of my life, and I couldn’t let their hurtful words break me. But it wasn’t easy.
Every glance in the mirror reminded me of their conversation. Every meal I cooked felt like a betrayal.
I tried to focus on the positive. I had a good job, a beautiful son, and a home that I had worked hard to build. Noele’s comments couldn’t take that away from me. Yet, the pain lingered.
As I lay in bed that night, I kept replaying the conversation I had overheard. The sting of their insults was fresh, and the more I thought about it, the angrier I became.
“I can’t believe they think this way about me,” I whispered to myself, glancing at Alexander, who slept soundly beside me. “I’m the one working and buying all the food.”
I sighed and stared at the ceiling. It wasn’t fair. I had always tried to be kind and supportive. I put everyone else’s needs before my own, but what did I get in return? Cruel words and hurtful remarks.
Suddenly, it hit me. I had been too kind for too long. It was time to stand up for myself. I deserved respect and appreciation, not insults and judgment. I turned to look at Alexander again.
He seemed so peaceful, completely oblivious to the turmoil raging inside me.
I couldn’t keep living like this, letting their words break me down. Tomorrow, I would start making changes. I wouldn’t let Noele’s hurtful comments dictate how I felt about myself. And I wouldn’t let Alexander’s silence continue.
He needed to know how his words, or lack thereof, were affecting me. We were supposed to be partners, a team. It was time for him to step up and support me.
I woke up early, determined to put my plan into action.
After breakfast, I decided to visit the Asian market to buy some unique ingredients. As I entered the market, the variety of products overwhelmed me, but I knew exactly what I was looking for.
“Excuse me,” I said to the vendor, picking up a jar. “How much is this?”
The vendor smiled and told me the price. “These are very popular,” he said. “Great for special recipes.”
“Perfect,” I replied, adding several jars to my basket. “I’ll take these.”
Once I had everything I needed, I headed home. Alexander was out, and I knew Noele was supposed to come over in the evening. I had the whole day to prepare.
I took a day off from work to make sure everything was perfect. First, I emptied our fridge of all the old food items.
Then, I carefully filled jars and bottles with the ‘unique’ groceries I had bought, making sure they looked like the regular food jars Noele was used to seeing. I even labeled a few of them with familiar names to complete the illusion.
“This should do it,” I muttered to myself, feeling a mixture of excitement and nervousness.
After setting up the camera to capture Noele’s reaction, I took a step back to admire my handiwork. Everything was in place, and now all I had to do was wait.
I spent the rest of the day tidying up and making sure there was no evidence of my plan.
As the evening approached, I felt a mix of anticipation and nerves.
Noele arrived right on time, and I made sure to be out of the house for a few hours, giving her the perfect opportunity to raid the fridge.
When I returned home, I walked into the kitchen to find Noele pale and shaking, holding a jar filled with live insects. Her eyes were wide with shock and anger.
“What the hell is this?!” she screamed, her voice trembling.
I put on my most innocent face. “Oh, Noele, what’s wrong? Did you find something you didn’t like?”
“These… these jars! They’re filled with bugs! And some of them are still alive! Are you insane?” she shouted, her hands shaking as she held up the jar.
“Oh, those?” I replied calmly. “I thought you might enjoy some exotic snacks. I hear they’re very nutritious.”
“This is disgusting! How could you do this?” she yelled, her face turning red with anger.
I took a deep breath. “How could I do this?” I snapped. “How could you steal from me and insult me behind my back? You thought I wouldn’t find out? You thought I wouldn’t hear you calling me an elephant and plotting to take all the food I buy with my hard-earned money?”
Noele’s face paled even more. She opened her mouth to speak but couldn’t find the words. I continued, my voice steady and firm.
“I’ve put up with your insults and disrespect for too long, Noele. I work hard to support this family, and all you do is take advantage of my kindness. Well, not anymore. This is my home, and you will respect it and me.”
At that moment, Alexander walked in, looking shocked and confused.
He glanced at the jar in Noele’s hand, then at me. “What’s going on here?”
“Oh, your mother is just discovering my special surprise for her,” I said calmly. “I decided to stock up on some unique groceries.”
Noele thrust the jar towards him. “She filled the fridge with insects! This is her idea of revenge!”
I wasn’t done yet.
“Actually,” I interjected, “it’s my idea of justice. You both thought you could humiliate me and take advantage of me. Well, now you know that actions have consequences. You don’t get to insult me and steal from me without facing the fallout.”
“This is outrageous! You’re out of your mind!” Noele shouted, her voice shaking with fury.
“Maybe,” I replied, meeting her glare. “Or maybe I’m just tired of being disrespected in my own home. You can leave now, and don’t bother coming back unless you plan to treat me with the respect I deserve.”
Noele stormed out, still clutching the jar, and Alexander stood there, speechless.
“I can’t believe you did that,” he finally said, his voice filled with shock. It was time to teach my husband a lesson.
“Believe it,” I said firmly. “And if you think for one second that I’ll tolerate this behavior from either of you again, think again. This is my house, and I won’t be treated like a doormat.”
Alexander looked down, his face flushed with embarrassment. “I… I’m sorry,” he said quietly.
“Sorry isn’t enough,” I replied.
“You need to earn back my trust and respect. Until then, don’t expect things to go back to normal. And I hope you’re looking for a job. Because you clearly don’t help me at home. Maybe if I have the time, I can focus on my health, yes?”
From that day forward, the dynamic in our house changed. Noele didn’t dare to show us her face since then, and Alexander had a lot to make up for. Sometimes, you have to take a stand and teach people that you won’t be pushed around.
Do you think I was right to take a stand for myself?
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