Calling someone “fat” can be a hurtful insult. But why is that?
This question came up when a mother named Allison shared her story about a recent swimming trip with her children. When her daughter called her fat, 30-year-old Allison had a clever response, and her message is now spreading quickly online.
Allison Kimmey began dieting when she was just 14 years old. She managed to stay at a size two to four through graduate school, but it was tough, and she wasn’t happy. Three years ago, at age 27, Allison reached a size eight and realized she would be much happier if she stopped fighting against her weight gain.
To motivate herself, Allison started an Instagram account, @allisonkimmey, where she shares pictures and inspirational messages. Her body positivity spreads joy and encourages her followers, but her important message doesn’t always reach everyone.
**Me:** “Actually, everyone, every single person in the world has fat. But each of us has different amounts.”
**Her brother:** “Oh right! I have some to protect my big muscles! But you have more than me.”
**Me:** “Yes, that’s true. Some people have a lot, and others don’t have much. But that doesn’t mean one person is better than the other. Do you both understand?”
**Both:** “Yes, mama.”
**Me:** “So can you repeat what I said?”
**Them:** “Yes! I shouldn’t say someone is fat because you can’t just be fat, but everyone HAS fat, and it’s okay to have different fat.”
**Me:** “Exactly right!”
Not only did Allison want to teach her children how to talk to others, but she also felt it was important to spread the message that everyone is equal, no matter their body shape. Now, her post on Instagram has gone viral.
“If I shame my children for saying it, then I’m proving that it’s an insulting word and continuing the stigma that being fat is unworthy, gross, comical, and undesirable,” writes Allison.
My Husband Didn’t Take Me on Vacation with His Family – I Found Out Why after Unexpected Help from My Mother-in-Law
Layla’s husband, Tom, has an annual tradition involving a family vacation that she isn’t invited to. After years of being excluded, Layla finally asks why she isn’t allowed to join, only for Tom to lie and blame his mother. But when Layla does her own digging, she and her mother-in-law discover a family secret that breaks the family apart.
My husband, Tom, has been going on an annual island vacation with his family since we had gotten married. That’s twelve years of family trips without me.
Every year, he’d pack his bags and leave our two kids and me behind.
“My mom doesn’t want in-laws on the trip, Layla,” he said. “You know this. It’s the same story every year. But still, you continue to ask about it.”
My husband rolled his eyes and sat on the couch, his hands wrapped tightly around his phone.
“Why don’t you just cancel this one, and we can take the kids on holiday instead?” I asked, tossing a salad to go with our dinner.
“Why would I do that?” he retorted. “The kids are too young and it will be chaotic. When they’re older, we can start talking about holidays with them.”
“And me?” I asked. “Are you sure your mom will mind?”
And that was when something snapped in me.
There, right on social media for everyone to see, was a carousel of photos from last year’s vacation. There was Tom, smiling widely next to his brother and sister-in-law. There were other photos of their sister and her husband, too.
But I was told that Tom’s mother didn’t want any in-laws on the trip?
“It’s clear that she just didn’t want you there,” I said to myself.
I needed to know more information before I blew up at my mother-in-law. As much as Denise seemed to have an issue with me, I knew that if I asked her straight up, she would give me an answer.
So, I decided to call Sadie, Tom’s brother’s wife. She was fairly new to the family, with them having only been married for about a year now.
So that’s what they thought. That I hadn’t been able to make their trip because of my children.
“Listen, Layla,” she said. “I’ve got to go, I’m getting another call. I’ll call you this evening!”
She hung up immediately.
I knew that my next move would be going to my mother-in-law. If anyone was at the root of this lie, it would be Denise.
“Wait, what?” I asked, stunned.
“Tell me what you know,” she said, pouring a glass of juice.
Shocked, I spilled everything. The photos, Tom’s lies, the years of being left behind with and without my sons.
And more than that, she became a constant presence in my life, always wanting to be around me and help wherever she could, and insisting on being an active grandmother to my kids.
“I never imagined that it would all come to this,” she said one afternoon as we sat in the living room together.
“Me neither,” I replied. “But at least we know the truth now.”
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