Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good man to you in our 7 years of marriage & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been tough for me. Your boss notified me that you quit your job today & that was just too much to bear any longer.
Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.
Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, It’s over and I am leaving.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband,
Believe me, nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s definitely true that you & I have been married for the past 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.
I watch my TV shows so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping, although that doesn’t seem to work.
I definitely noticed your haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ And since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I decided not to comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 long years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could make this work. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem!
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Head Scratching: People Confused By These 10+ Odd Things They Found on the Internet.
Numerous individuals have stumbled upon enigmatic objects or phenomena, only to find solace in the vast realm of the internet, where inquisitive minds and experts converge to unravel these mysteries. In the following piece, we’ll present 11 extraordinary encounters people have had and unveil the insightful solutions offered by the online community as to what these odd things may be.
What is this little ramp thingy on the bottom of a lotion bottle?” nohurrie32 replied: “It’s for the manufacturing of the product so that it can be turned while standing up.”
An odd little desk?
“What is this thing? The inside opens up to empty space, it’s disconnected from the desk below.”
Reddit user crunchsmash said: “It’s a bed/lap desk. There’s supposed to be a metal bar underneath that slots into the wooden tray, so you can prop it up at different angles for reading and stuff”
A strange wall decoration
Image Credit: @Annabel_Lector / Reddit“Found in a house we just bought. Made of metal and screwed into the wall, has a hole in the middle. Located in bathroom by shower.”
Luckily, Reddit user Happy_Cranker had the answer: “This is either a soap dish holder or toothbrush holder, but it’s missing the middle part that held the ring. Does that make any sense in the context of where it is located in the bathroom? Could have been a holder for a hand towel as well. I remember seeing these in houses from the 60’s and 70’s.”
Odd things in doors
Image Credit: © JstTrstMe / Reddit“It’s called a ’speakeasy’ and it’s for talking to someone without having to open the door.” 3rdCoastTxn from Reddit replied to the question: “What is the purpose of this little door in the door?”
“My girlfriend brought it when we moved in. What is this?” It definitely tops the list of odd things we’ve seen.
Image Credit: © StevieNichole / Reddit“
It’s an abs exerciser.” – jackrats / Reddit
“Found in house during a remodel. It’s six inches long with a stone on the end. Google image search says it’s a pin but the end is dull. Any ideas?”
Image Credit: ThePoneLady / Reddit“
Looks like a pipe poker tool for a pipe bowl.” – KevOSinKS / Reddit
But…why?
Image Credit: © one__*ent / Reddit“
My clothes pegs are all individually numbered. Why is that?” Reddit user 3-cent-nickel knew why: “Different molds have different numbers so if they start coming out of the machine messed up, they can identify which mold needs replacing.“
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