This time, we sent an air fryer to our youngest granddaughter, the cheapest thing on her registry. Eloise called us, livid, accusing us of being cheap. I remember picking up her call and she didn’t even say hi, she just started ranting, “Seriously, Grandma? I just got your gift. An air fryer? That’s the cheapest thing you could find on my registry!”
I was taken aback because as much as the air fryer was the cheapest on their registry, I still thought it’d be useful to them, so I told her that. Eloise kept on complaining, “Useful? Come on, you know you can do better than that. Everyone knows you have the money. I just can’t believe you’d be this cheap with me. It’s embarrassing.”
In this heated moment, I told her, “Yes, you’re right. We are cheap, old, and useless. The only thing you DIDN’T know is that the day before the wedding, we were going to gift you a check for $40,000.”
I revealed this in an attempt to explain to Eloise about the cash gift we usually give our grandkids before the wedding but she was so angry at this point, that she wasn’t listening to a thing I said. I speculated that maybe she didn’t believe we would gift her such an amount of money after only buying her an air fryer.
Eventually, she said, “No, it’s clear. You just don’t love me enough to show it. You know how much pressure I’m under with the wedding. And then, this? It’s like you don’t even care,” then she hung up.
Despite my husband and I’s shock at Eloise’s reaction, we then bought her a China set, hoping to appease her, but decided against giving her the $40,000, feeling she hadn’t earned it.
Fast forward to last week. Eloise talked to her brother and found out that we were telling her the truth about the money. After confirming it with her cousins, she, called again, accusing us of discrimination, “I just found out that it’s true you gave the money to everyone else when they got married. Why didn’t I get anything?”
We stood firm, explaining our stance was due to her initial reaction, “We felt after your reaction to the wedding gift, it wasn’t right to go ahead and gift you the money.” Eloise pleaded trying to convince us otherwise, “So, you’re punishing me? Is that it? Because I was upset about an air fryer?”
I was angry that she didn’t even understand what she did wrong. “It wasn’t about the air fryer, Eloise. It was how you spoke to us, the disrespect. That’s not something we expected or can support,” I explained.
Eloise implored us, nearly in tears, “But that’s so unfair! I was stressed, Grandma. Planning a wedding is hard, and I just snapped. I didn’t mean any of it.” I felt like she should have only apologized to us instead of finding excuses to justify her behavior.
However, I told her, “We understand that it’s a stressful time, but actions and words have consequences. We hoped you’d understand the value of family and love over material things.” Full of desperation, Eloise added, “But you don’t understand! Can’t we just forget all this happened? I need that money, Grandma.”
She pleaded, threatened to boycott Christmas, and accused us of cutting her off but we didn’t budge. In the end, I expressed, “We love you very much. This has nothing to do with cutting you off. We just hope you’ll reflect on this and understand why we made our decision.”
Now, Eloise has followed up on her threat and she’s boycotting Christmas. Her mother, who is our daughter-in-law, is siding with her, calling us unreasonable. However, we feel that after all we have done for Eloise, the air fryer gift, shouldn’t have triggered this reaction.
For context, we had already paid for her college, and her parents covered her graduate school and half the wedding. Additionally, she and her husband are financially comfortable and do not desperately need our money.
We’re also not upset with our grandkids for revealing the cash gift since she is among the group of family members who are allowed to know about it. Our reason for sending the air fryer earlier was that we live far away, so we always send our gifts early.
The wedding gift is also separate from the money, which we give with the hope it will be used for something significant, like a home. Now, we feel like the action we took towards Eloise was well deserved and we are not going back on our decisions even if she and her mom threaten to do their worst.
Despite the tumultuous events and Eloise’s refusal to understand our perspective, my husband and I stand by our decision. Love and respect in our family are paramount, and we hoped this situation would be a learning experience for her.
The holidays might be quieter this year with her family’s absence, but our hope is for healing and understanding in the future. Our door and hearts remain open to Eloise, whenever she’s ready to mend fences.
Want more like this? Click here to read about a grandmother who sparked controversy online because she doesn’t bring her grandchildren gifts when she visits.
Optical illusion reveals what kind of lover you are
Optical illusions exist to trick our mind into believing that we see something that doesn’t really exist or into lacking to see the obvious.
Either way, they are fun and trigger discussions. They also make us think deeply about their meaning and about what they truly represent.
The following optical illusion can help you determine what kind of lover you are based on what figure you notice first.
Being aware of this fact is sometimes crucial in building a relationship with someone.
Every bonding with the person we love is mostly grounded on communication and mutual understanding. The feelings involved are of course a crucial part of the decision to be with someone or not.
The following test will also reveal your personal method of showing your love.
This knowledge can deepen the romantic involvement with your other half and help you understand and appreciate your partner even more.
Now take a look at the image and note the first thing you notice.
These are the explanations based on your answer:
The Face:
If the face is the first thing you notice, it shows that you are determined and have your goals straight in life. You always have a plan about your next move that you are ready to fulfill with unshakable confidence. You have a reputation that you are often correct and you are born to be a leader.
As a lover, you believe that finding the time to spend together with the person you love is crucial for a successful relationship. Having someone find the time for you besides their hectic schedule is a valuable love expression. But you are wiling to do the same and make your loved one a priority.
The Trees:
You are likely someone who experienced emotional heartbreak in the past and when there comes the time for a new love, you carry the baggage from your previous love experience. You are a sensitive individual and what doesn’t leave a mark on someone else can entirely take up your mind for a long time. However, besides the scars, you don’t lose hope.
As a lover, you believe that a relationship works best if you open up. When you share your pain and deepest fears with the person you are with, you experience something deep and meaningful. To you, even a shred of emotional availability is immensely appreciated.
The Wolf:
You are likely defined as someone passionate and someone who has no lack of confidence when it comes to initiating your love desires. You are also an initiator of a great party and now how to make people feel comfortable around you. Always at the center of attention with your wit.
Your love language is physical touch. You are passionate and the physical acts of intimate love-making mean much more than words to you. The reason for this is because you have learned much more from actions than you ever did from words. You show your love to your partner through sweet and tiny physical gestures. Playing rough occasionally is your thing, but it is the gentle cuddling and nuzzling that let your soft side shine.
The Moon:
You are a dreamer who loves dancing and writing, as well as appreciating other people’s expression of these forms of art. You find inspiration in the world’s creative and spiritual side.
You express your love through art. As a lover, all of your creative work has something from your loved one tied into it. If you write a poem, you consider it an act of dedication, while a painting incorporates elements of the way your partner looks like, such as the color of their hair or eyes. Before you express your love, you need to be sure it’s the right thing.
The House:
What you seek in a relationship is the security you feel at home. You are someone who finds happiness in being mostly at home with the one you love. A perfect scene for you is sitting in front of a fire, wrapped in a blanket and feeling the coziness of your place.
You show your love by providing for the person you are with. When they are hungry, you are happy to go to the kitchen and prepare a delicious meal for them. This small act is your secret and personal method of telling the person exactly how much you adore them and how much they mean to you.
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