It’s uplifting to witness women supporting each other, whether it’s friends offering help or strangers extending support to those they’ve never met. In this story, a woman quietly left a letter for her ex-boyfriend’s future girlfriend, offering a heads-up about what to anticipate and sharing lessons from her own experience. The new girlfriend shared this moving act of solidarity on Reddit, where she received an outpouring of encouragement and advice from the online community.
She wrote:
“My boyfriend Steve (30m) and I (28f) have been together for 2 years and have been living together for 8 months. I was cleaning our apartment when I found a note in the back of a cabinet that read:
‘Dear Steve’s Future Girlfriend,
I know it’s you reading this because he’d never clean back here. I’m putting this here because I’m leaving him soon and want to warn you about him:
1-He will not clean;
2-He will not listen;
3-He will make everything feel like it’s your fault;
It’s not your fault, he’s just an incompetent man. I’m leaving him, I suggest you do the same.
Best wishes, Natalia'”
She added:
“I read the note and brought it to show to him and hear his response. He immediately ripped it up and said not to listen to it, that she was crazy and untrustworthy. I told him that the fact that he hasn’t found the note in the 5 years since they broke up is a red flag to me because it does mean he’s never cleaned back there and that he has been cleaning less and less since I moved in.
He told me this is just his ex continuing to manipulate and ruin his life, and I was letting it work. We continued to argue along the same lines, and I eventually left to spend the night at a friend’s place.
Steve has been a great boyfriend so far. He gets along with my family. He has given me gifts and flowers and always tells me how much he loves me. He’s not wrong that the cleaning hasn’t really been brought up before, but the note made me realize it had been less and less and that we needed to have a full conversation about this.”
She went on explaining:
“He texted me afterwards saying he’s sorry that I felt like I had to leave, but that it’s a wrong move for me to take a note over our 2-year relationship and to leave him and our pets alone. I don’t know what to do or what to believe right now. I’m contemplating trying to find and reach out to Natalia.
Steve thinks I should come back home and let it go, that his past should not affect our future. He makes it sound like his ex was manipulative and petty throughout their relationship, but I don’t know what to trust.
When we moved in together 8 months ago, the cleaning was 50/50. Since then, he’s been doing things less and less. I have to remind him to do things like to bring his plates to the sink or take out the trash, and I didn’t have to before. The dishes will pile up unless I do them, to the point he’s had leftover food mold on the plates.”
She continued:
“I’m not a confrontational person, so I was just asking him to fix it when it came up. The note made me reflect on it more and try to have an actual full conversation, and I will say I didn’t feel listened to when I talked to him about it.
I tried to use the note to start a conversation about cleaning, and he got so stuck on the fact that I was listening to his ex instead of him, that he wouldn’t listen to what I think are valid concerns. He thinks I’m letting the note have “confirmation bias” so no matter what he says I’ll think he’s in the wrong.
Also, I didn’t leave him permanently, this all happened yesterday and I only spent one night at a friend’s because I didn’t feel like our conversation was going anywhere last night, and he wouldn’t let me sleep until I let it go. I’m going back today and wanted to get advice and feedback before I do.”
Other Redditors chimed in, sharing their own insights and offering advice to her.
- I’m so glad for you. It wasn’t two wasted years since they taught you a valuable lesson. I’m especially grateful for Natalia! Please tell her we love her for her kind solidarity and witty ways. Absolutely, leave a note — but better yet, leave two. One in the same place (he’ll look there; manipulative narcissists aren’t that dumb), and another in an even less likely spot. Sending you my best. You got this, girl! © occasionalpart / Reddit
- Well, he’s not cleaning, he’s not listening to you, and he’s making it out to be your fault “for trusting a note over him.” So, it seems the ex’s assessment might be accurate. It doesn’t look like he’s open to discussing his poor housekeeping, and personally, I don’t think you’ll be able to address it now without the note coming up. Ultimately, it’s up to you to decide whether this is something you can tolerate. It seems he hasn’t learned anything from his last relationship. © VonBoo / Reddit
- You’ve been living together for less than a year, and you’re already having to play mommy, reminding him of basic chores and daily tasks! If Natalia were truly such a manipulative, crazy person, she would have made much harsher and more dramatic accusations than these. © Arya_kidding_me / Reddit
- It’s almost ironic how easy it would have been for him to shut this entire thing down with the simplest of responses: “Hmm, you’re right, I’ll make sure to clean more.” That would have immediately countered points 2 and 3. But he’d rather be right, and he’d rather play the aggrieved party. You didn’t do anything wrong by trying to have a conversation off the back of that note. His reaction should tell you everything. © Mobius_Stripping / Reddit
- I’d be willing to bet money that the note is right. He sounds like the kind of man who will stop doing anything the second he decides a woman is fully trapped. The slow tapering off you’re witnessing is him testing the waters. He needs to figure out whether he just needs to waste enough of your time to get to that stage, or whether you need a ring or a baby to feel trapped. © Extension_Drummer_85 / Reddit
- “Don’t expect to change a man unless he’s in diapers.” This behavior will continue on, he’s gotten away with it before up to a certain point. He wants someone to pick up after him like his mommy.
Any time a guy says, “My ex is/was crazy,” is a MASSIVE red flag right there. It’s something guys have been saying since the dawn of time to belittle their former partners. He’ll say the same thing about you to his next girlfriend. You have to ask yourself, “Was she crazy, or did he drive her crazy with his behavior and laziness?” I’d leave your own note when you do finally dump him. And reach out to his ex, see what she has to say. © Equal-Brilliant2640 / Reddit
When trust is broken between couples, it often leads to a surge of emotional and psychological turmoil, including feelings of uncertainty and profound confusion. In a different scenario, a woman shared a fascinating story of her own sleuthing skills. She discovered her husband was cheating simply by paying close attention to his breakfast order.
Single Mom of Four Buys Used Car, Owner Tells Her to Look In Trunk When She Gets Home
With four small children under her care, Jennifer was left a single mother after her husband, Adam, unexpectedly left when he learned she was expecting their fourth child. “One more kid to feed? Not at all! His final words as he left their trailer and filed for divorce were, “I’ve had enough!” Devastated, Jennifer found it impossible to provide for her family without Adam’s assistance, particularly given their preexisting financial struggles.
Adam ceased giving any money after the divorce, saying he was unemployed and couldn’t find work because he didn’t have a college degree. Jennifer was desperate to support her kids, and she realized she needed to get a job. While looking for work, she was consistently turned down by companies who would often point out that it was hard to hire a woman with little children. Unfazed, she continued looking for work in a nearby city, paying for a cab ride with the little cash she had while neighbors watched her kids.
When she discovered a vacancy for a housekeeping position at a nearby hotel, her perseverance paid off. She was employed right away by the HR manager, who was keen to fill roles before the hectic summer season. Jennifer went back home, thrilled to have found a job, to tell her children about her good fortune. But the daily taxi rides soon got too expensive, and she started thinking about getting a car.
Though Jennifer wasn’t sure whether she could afford it, she came across a secondhand car that appeared to be ideal for her needs. She went over to the owner, told him what had happened, and asked if he would sell the automobile for $5,000. Jeff, the owner, was moved by her narrative and agreed to the cheaper price as long as she could pay by the next day. However, because of her bad credit, Jennifer’s loan application was quickly turned down.
When Jennifer ran out of options, she made an extremely painful choice. To raise the required money, she made the decision to sell a gold chain necklace that belonged to her late mother. After she brought the necklace to a pawnshop, the value was $5500, which was sufficient to pay for the car and several other urgent necessities.
Jennifer came back to the dealership the following day with $5,000 in cash. Jeff complimented her on her purchase and grinned as he took the money. Jeff added that he had left something for her kids in the car’s trunk as she was getting ready to leave.
Before long, Jennifer’s life was consumed by work and taking care of her kids, and she forgot about Jeff’s final remarks until she found a note in the glove box. She was shocked to see the same white envelope she had used to pay for the automobile when she eventually checked the trunk, as the note had advised her to do. The whole $5,000 was there, undamaged.
Jennifer went back to the dealership to express her sincere gratitude to Jeff for his amazing gift. “The world throws challenges at you, and it’s up to you to either rise from these challenges or succumb to them,” Jeff stated with a simple smile. I think you deserve the money more than I do, and I’m proud of you for standing by your kids. Just remember to give back as well.
With tears in her eyes, Jennifer departed the dealership, knowing that Jeff’s generosity had not only reduced her financial load but also given her newfound hope in the goodness of humanity.
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