It’s uplifting to witness women supporting each other, whether it’s friends offering help or strangers extending support to those they’ve never met. In this story, a woman quietly left a letter for her ex-boyfriend’s future girlfriend, offering a heads-up about what to anticipate and sharing lessons from her own experience. The new girlfriend shared this moving act of solidarity on Reddit, where she received an outpouring of encouragement and advice from the online community.
She wrote:
“My boyfriend Steve (30m) and I (28f) have been together for 2 years and have been living together for 8 months. I was cleaning our apartment when I found a note in the back of a cabinet that read:
‘Dear Steve’s Future Girlfriend,
I know it’s you reading this because he’d never clean back here. I’m putting this here because I’m leaving him soon and want to warn you about him:
1-He will not clean;
2-He will not listen;
3-He will make everything feel like it’s your fault;
It’s not your fault, he’s just an incompetent man. I’m leaving him, I suggest you do the same.
Best wishes, Natalia'”
She added:
“I read the note and brought it to show to him and hear his response. He immediately ripped it up and said not to listen to it, that she was crazy and untrustworthy. I told him that the fact that he hasn’t found the note in the 5 years since they broke up is a red flag to me because it does mean he’s never cleaned back there and that he has been cleaning less and less since I moved in.
He told me this is just his ex continuing to manipulate and ruin his life, and I was letting it work. We continued to argue along the same lines, and I eventually left to spend the night at a friend’s place.
Steve has been a great boyfriend so far. He gets along with my family. He has given me gifts and flowers and always tells me how much he loves me. He’s not wrong that the cleaning hasn’t really been brought up before, but the note made me realize it had been less and less and that we needed to have a full conversation about this.”
She went on explaining:
“He texted me afterwards saying he’s sorry that I felt like I had to leave, but that it’s a wrong move for me to take a note over our 2-year relationship and to leave him and our pets alone. I don’t know what to do or what to believe right now. I’m contemplating trying to find and reach out to Natalia.
Steve thinks I should come back home and let it go, that his past should not affect our future. He makes it sound like his ex was manipulative and petty throughout their relationship, but I don’t know what to trust.
When we moved in together 8 months ago, the cleaning was 50/50. Since then, he’s been doing things less and less. I have to remind him to do things like to bring his plates to the sink or take out the trash, and I didn’t have to before. The dishes will pile up unless I do them, to the point he’s had leftover food mold on the plates.”
She continued:
“I’m not a confrontational person, so I was just asking him to fix it when it came up. The note made me reflect on it more and try to have an actual full conversation, and I will say I didn’t feel listened to when I talked to him about it.
I tried to use the note to start a conversation about cleaning, and he got so stuck on the fact that I was listening to his ex instead of him, that he wouldn’t listen to what I think are valid concerns. He thinks I’m letting the note have “confirmation bias” so no matter what he says I’ll think he’s in the wrong.
Also, I didn’t leave him permanently, this all happened yesterday and I only spent one night at a friend’s because I didn’t feel like our conversation was going anywhere last night, and he wouldn’t let me sleep until I let it go. I’m going back today and wanted to get advice and feedback before I do.”
Other Redditors chimed in, sharing their own insights and offering advice to her.
- I’m so glad for you. It wasn’t two wasted years since they taught you a valuable lesson. I’m especially grateful for Natalia! Please tell her we love her for her kind solidarity and witty ways. Absolutely, leave a note — but better yet, leave two. One in the same place (he’ll look there; manipulative narcissists aren’t that dumb), and another in an even less likely spot. Sending you my best. You got this, girl! © occasionalpart / Reddit
- Well, he’s not cleaning, he’s not listening to you, and he’s making it out to be your fault “for trusting a note over him.” So, it seems the ex’s assessment might be accurate. It doesn’t look like he’s open to discussing his poor housekeeping, and personally, I don’t think you’ll be able to address it now without the note coming up. Ultimately, it’s up to you to decide whether this is something you can tolerate. It seems he hasn’t learned anything from his last relationship. © VonBoo / Reddit
- You’ve been living together for less than a year, and you’re already having to play mommy, reminding him of basic chores and daily tasks! If Natalia were truly such a manipulative, crazy person, she would have made much harsher and more dramatic accusations than these. © Arya_kidding_me / Reddit
- It’s almost ironic how easy it would have been for him to shut this entire thing down with the simplest of responses: “Hmm, you’re right, I’ll make sure to clean more.” That would have immediately countered points 2 and 3. But he’d rather be right, and he’d rather play the aggrieved party. You didn’t do anything wrong by trying to have a conversation off the back of that note. His reaction should tell you everything. © Mobius_Stripping / Reddit
- I’d be willing to bet money that the note is right. He sounds like the kind of man who will stop doing anything the second he decides a woman is fully trapped. The slow tapering off you’re witnessing is him testing the waters. He needs to figure out whether he just needs to waste enough of your time to get to that stage, or whether you need a ring or a baby to feel trapped. © Extension_Drummer_85 / Reddit
- “Don’t expect to change a man unless he’s in diapers.” This behavior will continue on, he’s gotten away with it before up to a certain point. He wants someone to pick up after him like his mommy.
Any time a guy says, “My ex is/was crazy,” is a MASSIVE red flag right there. It’s something guys have been saying since the dawn of time to belittle their former partners. He’ll say the same thing about you to his next girlfriend. You have to ask yourself, “Was she crazy, or did he drive her crazy with his behavior and laziness?” I’d leave your own note when you do finally dump him. And reach out to his ex, see what she has to say. © Equal-Brilliant2640 / Reddit
When trust is broken between couples, it often leads to a surge of emotional and psychological turmoil, including feelings of uncertainty and profound confusion. In a different scenario, a woman shared a fascinating story of her own sleuthing skills. She discovered her husband was cheating simply by paying close attention to his breakfast order.
I Told My Fiancé About My ‘Marriage 8 p.m. Rule’ and He Canceled the Wedding — Is It Really That Weird?
When Emma proposes a daily “8 p.m. rule” to her fiancé, Matt, she expects it to bring them closer. But Matt’s reaction is far from what she’s imagined. Shocked by the idea, he abruptly calls off the wedding, leaving Emma questioning everything she thought she knew about love and commitment.
Winter felt like the perfect time to get married, and Matt had agreed. We had set the date for February, just after Valentine’s Day. How poetic, right?
I had every detail of the wedding figured out, and could almost see our future laid out like the itinerary for an amazing life.
A happy woman | Source: Midjourney
Matt and I had always been in sync, and our relationship was like a well-oiled machine. We’d never had any big fights or major drama. It was just… easy. At least, that’s what I thought.
But I had this nagging feeling lately. With the wedding fast approaching, I wanted to ensure we were as strong as we thought we were. I guess that’s where the 8 p.m. rule came in.
In my mind, it was the perfect way to keep us on track. I didn’t realize then how wrong I was.
A woman smiling faintly | Source: Midjourney
I decided to bring it up at dinner. I made a reservation at our favorite Italian spot, the one with the twinkling lights outside that made everything feel just a little bit magical.
We had so many wonderful memories there. I thought it was the perfect place for what I assumed would be a bonding moment.
I remember looking at him across the table. He was laughing, and I smiled back, my heart racing just a little.
“Hey,” I started, a little too casual. “I’ve been thinking about something for us.”
A couple having dinner at a restaurant | Source: Midjourney
His fork paused mid-air. He raised an eyebrow, intrigued. “Yeah? What’s that?”
And that was it. That was my opening.
“So, once we’re married, I want us to have this daily check-in. I was thinking we could sit down at 8 p.m. every night, go through a checklist, and talk about how we’re doing as a couple. You know, rate each other on communication, support, little habits… that sort of thing.”
A confident and happy woman | Source: Midjourney
I pulled out the table I had printed — because, of course, I had made a sample — and slid it across the table to him.
Matt stared at it, blinking. “You want us to… rate each other? Like a performance review?”
“Not exactly,” I said quickly, feeling my cheeks flush. “It’s more like making sure we’re always improving. Like, if one of us feels off about something, we’d talk about it before it festers. It’s proactive. Don’t you think that’s a good idea?”
A couple having dinner together | Source: Midjourney
He didn’t answer right away and his face remained neutral, unreadable. The silence stretched out, and suddenly the cozy atmosphere felt too warm and close.
“Emma…” His voice trailed off, and he pushed the paper aside, focusing on me. “That sounds like a lot. I mean… a daily check-in? With a rating system?”
I blinked. “Well, yeah. I thought it would be healthy, you know? Like, keeping the lines of communication open.”
A woman in a restaurant | Source: Midjourney
Matt leaned back in his chair, his expression turning serious in a way I hadn’t seen before. “It feels like… I don’t know. Like I’d be under a microscope. You want to do this every day? It’s too much.”
I felt my stomach drop. “But it’s only 15 minutes. It’s just a way to stay connected and make sure we don’t drift apart.”
“Drift apart?” He sounded incredulous. “We’ve been fine for four years. Why would we need this now?”
A stunned man | Source: Midjourney
That’s when I realized I had been holding my breath waiting for his approval, thinking he’d get it. But he wasn’t getting it at all.
The rest of the dinner blurred together. He didn’t just have ‘reservations’ about the 8 p.m. rule, he felt like it was the tip of an iceberg. He thought I was too controlling and too focused on perfection.
And then, out of nowhere, Matt said something that knocked the wind out of me.
A serious man | Source: Midjourney
“I don’t think I can do this anymore.”
I thought he meant the 8 p.m. rule. That was bad enough, but then he said, “The wedding… I think we need to call it off.”
I stared at him, frozen. His words hurt more than I ever expected.
“Call off the wedding? You can’t be serious.”
An upset couple at a restaurant | Source: Midjourney
But he was.
“I’m sorry, but you caught me off guard with this, and I don’t know what to think anymore. I need some space.”
And just like that, the man I had planned my life with got up from the table, leaving me alone with my half-eaten plate of pasta and a sinking feeling that the life I had planned was crumbling before my eyes.
A plate of pasta | Source: Pexels
For two days after that dinner, I felt like I was living in someone else’s body. My phone stayed silent. I kept glancing at it, half-expecting Matt to change his mind and tell me it was just a huge misunderstanding, that he overreacted.
But he didn’t.
When Matt’s mom finally reached out, her voice cracked as she explained that Matt had called off the wedding for good.
“He’s not himself right now,” she said as if that would make me feel better. “Give him some time.”
A woman staring at her phone in disbelief | Source: Midjourney
Time? I wanted to scream. There wasn’t time. We were supposed to be getting married in a few months. How was I supposed to explain this to everyone?
But that’s exactly what I had to do. The following day, I sat across from my parents at their kitchen table, barely able to get the words out.
My mom looked like she was trying to hold herself together, nodding the way she does when she’s trying not to cry.
A sad woman | Source: Midjourney
Dad was quiet. When he finally spoke, his words devastated me.
“Emma,” he started carefully, “you’ve always been… so particular. Structured, methodical. Maybe this 8 p.m. thing was a little too much, don’t you think?”
Too much? The words stung more than I expected.
Mom jumped in. “Honey, we know you mean well. But relationships aren’t always so… well, planned. Maybe Matt just needs something a little more flexible.”
A mature couple | Source: Midjourney
I didn’t know how to respond. Was it so wrong to want a way to keep things in check? Relationships fall apart when people don’t communicate, right? But there was no use arguing. The silence from Matt had already spoken volumes.
Later, I had the unfortunate task of dealing with Matt’s family. They were just as confused as my parents had been, and there was a shared undercurrent of uncertainty about my rule.
“I’m not saying it was the only reason he called off the wedding,” Matt’s sister told me, “but I think it scared him. Made him feel like he was being graded.”
A young woman speaking | Source: Midjourney
I didn’t defend myself. What was the point?
In the weeks that followed, my life moved in a blur. I kept my head down at work, avoided most social gatherings, and tried to figure out how everything had gone so wrong.
Then a new face showed up at work.
Greg was the new project manager, and I knew he was different from the moment we shook hands. Over the next few weeks, we started working on a couple of projects, and I found myself opening up to him in ways I hadn’t expected.
A thoughtful woman | Source: Midjourney
It all came to a head during one of our lunch breaks.
Greg and I had been talking about work-life balance. He was meticulous about his time management, just like me. Before I knew it, I was telling him about the breakup and the 8 p.m. rule.
Greg leaned back in his chair, his brows furrowing in thought. “You know, I think that’s a brilliant idea,” he said, catching me completely off guard.
A man in a restaurant holding the menu | Source: Midjourney
I almost laughed. “Really? Because Matt didn’t think so. He thought it was too controlling.”
“Well, Matt sounds like an idiot,” Greg said with a smirk. “I have something similar. I keep a system for tracking personal growth. It has color-coded charts, weekly self-assessments, the whole nine yards.”
I stared at him, waiting for the punchline. “You’re kidding, right?”
An astonished woman | Source: Midjourney
He shook his head. “Nope. How else are you supposed to know if you’re improving? Self-awareness is key to everything. Why should a relationship be any different?”
I felt validated. Finally, somebody saw the genius of my 8 p.m. rule!
Greg leaned forward, his voice lowering slightly. “Look, I don’t know Matt, but relationships take work. If someone isn’t willing to put in that effort, well… maybe it’s not about the rule. Maybe it’s about the person.”
His words hit me harder than I expected.
A woman staring in surprise | Source: Midjourney
He was right. Matt wasn’t the right person for me. It wasn’t about the checklist. It was about the fact that I wanted to grow, and he didn’t. I wanted to work on things, and he wanted to flop through life without a plan.
For the first time since the breakup, I didn’t feel devastated. I felt… relieved.
Greg smiled. “So, what do you say?” he asked. “How about we check in on that project we’re working on? I bet you and I can put together a killer workflow for it.”
A friendly man in a restaurant | Source: Midjourney
For the first time, I realized that maybe things had turned out exactly as they were meant to.
Here’s another story: Mindy is caught off guard when her ex-husband’s friend, Tom, confronts her about keeping Greg’s last name after their divorce. What starts as a casual conversation quickly escalates when Tom’s unsettling reason for talking to her finally surfaces, leaving Mindy reeling — and unaware of the deeper betrayal yet to be uncovered.
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
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