I was stunned when my husband, Jake, handed me a schedule to help me “become a better wife.” But instead of blowing up, I played along.Little did Jake know, I was about to teach him a lesson that would make him rethink his newfound approach to marriage.
I’ve always prided myself on being the level-headed one in our marriage. Jake, bless his heart, could get swept up in things pretty easily, whether it was a new hobby, or some random YouTube video that promised to change his life in three easy steps.
But we were solid until Jake met Steve. Steve was the type of guy who thought being loudly opinionated made him right, the type that talks right over you when you try to correct him.
He was also a perpetually single guy (who could have guessed?), who graciously dispensed relationship advice to all his married colleagues, Jake included. Jake should’ve known better, but my darling husband was positively smitten with Steve’s confidence.
I didn’t think much of it until Jake started making some noxious comments.
“Steve says relationships work best when the wife takes charge of the household,” he’d say. Or “Steve thinks it’s important for women to look good for their husbands, no matter how long they’ve been married.”
I’d roll my eyes and reply with some sarcastic remark, but it was getting under my skin. Jake was changing. He’d arch his eyebrows if I ordered takeout instead of cooking, and sigh when I let the laundry pile up because, God forbid, I had my own full-time job.
And then it happened. One night, he came home with The List.
He sat me down at the kitchen table, unfolded a piece of paper, and slid it across to me.
“I’ve been thinking,” he started, his voice dripping with a condescending tone I hadn’t heard from him before. “You’re a great wife, Lisa. But there’s room for improvement.”
My eyebrows shot up. “Oh really?”
He nodded, oblivious to the danger zone he was entering. “Yeah. Steve helped me realize that our marriage could be even better if you, you know, stepped up a bit.”
I stared at the paper in front of me. It was a schedule… and he’d written “Lisa’s Weekly Routine for Becoming a Better Wife” at the top in bold.
This guy had actually sat down and mapped out my entire week based on what Steve — a single guy with zero relationship experience — thought I should do to “improve” myself as a wife.
I was supposed to wake up at 5 a.m. every day to make Jake a gourmet breakfast. Then I’d hit the gym for an hour to “stay in shape.”
After that? A delightful lineup of chores: cleaning, laundry, ironing. And that was all before I left for work. I was supposed to cook a meal from scratch every evening and make fancy snacks for Jake and his friends when they came over to hang out at our place.
The whole thing was sexist and insulting on so many levels I didn’t even know where to start. I ended up staring at him, wondering if my husband had lost his mind.
“This will be great for you, and us,” he continued, oblivious.
“Steve says it’s important to maintain structure, and I think you could benefit from —”
“I could benefit from what?” I interrupted, my voice dangerously calm. Jake blinked, caught off guard by the interruption, but he recovered quickly.
“Well, you know, from having some guidance and a schedule.”
I wanted to throw that paper in his face and ask him if he’d developed a death wish. Instead, I did something that surprised even me: I smiled.
“You’re right, Jake,” I said sweetly. “I’m so lucky that you made me this schedule. I’ll start tomorrow.”
The relief on his face was instant. I almost felt sorry for him as I got up and stuck the list on the fridge. Almost. He had no idea what was coming.
The next day, I couldn’t help but smirk as I studied the ridiculous schedule again. If Jake thought he could hand me a list of “improvements,” then he was about to find out just how much structure our life could really handle.
I pulled out my laptop, opened up a fresh document, and titled it, “Jake’s Plan for Becoming the Best Husband Ever.” He wanted a perfect wife? Fine. But there was a cost to perfection.
I began by listing all the things he had suggested for me, starting with the gym membership he was so keen on. It was laughable, really.
“$1,200 for a personal trainer.” I typed, barely containing my giggle.
Next came the food. If Jake wanted to eat like a king, that wasn’t happening on our current grocery budget. Organic, non-GMO, free-range everything? That stuff didn’t come cheap.
“$700 per month for groceries,” I wrote. He’d probably need to chip in for a cooking class too. Those were pricey, but hey, perfection wasn’t free.
I leaned back in my chair, laughing to myself as I imagined Jake’s face when he saw this. But I wasn’t done. Oh no, the pièce de résistance was still to come.
See, there was no way I could juggle all these expectations while holding down my job. If Jake wanted me to dedicate myself full-time to his absurd routine, then he’d have to compensate for the loss of my income.
I pulled up a calculator, estimating the value of my salary. Then, I added it to the list, complete with a little note: “$75,000 per year to replace Lisa’s salary since she will now be your full-time personal assistant, maid, and chef.”
My stomach hurt from laughing at this point.
And just for good measure, I threw in a suggestion about him needing to expand the house. After all, if he was going to have his friends over regularly, they’d need a dedicated space that wouldn’t intrude on my newly organized, impossibly structured life.
“$50,000 to build a separate ‘man cave’ so Jake and his friends don’t disrupt Lisa’s schedule.”
By the time I was done, the list was a masterpiece. A financial and logistical nightmare, sure, but a masterpiece nonetheless. It wasn’t just a counterattack — it was a wake-up call.
I printed it out, set it neatly on the kitchen counter, and waited for Jake to come home. When he finally walked through the door that evening, he was in a good mood.
“Hey, babe,” he called out, dropping his keys on the counter. He spotted the paper almost immediately. “What’s this?”
I kept my face neutral, fighting the urge to laugh as I watched him pick it up. “Oh, it’s just a little list I put together for you,” I said sweetly, “to help you become the best husband ever.”
Jake chuckled, thinking I was playing along with his little game. But as he scanned the first few lines, the grin started to fade. I could see the wheels turning in his head, the slow realization that this wasn’t the lighthearted joke he thought it was.
“Wait… what is all this?” He squinted at the numbers, his eyes widening as he saw the total costs. “$1,200 for a personal trainer? $700 a month for groceries? What the hell, Lisa?”
I leaned against the kitchen island, crossing my arms.
“Well, you want me to wake up at 5 a.m., hit the gym, make gourmet breakfasts, clean the house, cook dinner, and host your friends. I figured we should budget for all of that, don’t you think?”
His face turned pale as he flipped through the pages. “$75,000 a year? You’re quitting your job?!”
I shrugged. “How else am I supposed to follow your plan? I can’t work and be the perfect wife, right?”
He stared at the paper, dumbfounded.
The numbers, the absurdity of his own demands, it all hit him at once. His smugness evaporated, replaced by a dawning realization that he had seriously, seriously messed up.
“I… I didn’t mean…” Jake stammered, looking at me with wide eyes. “Lisa, I didn’t mean for it to be like this. I just thought —”
Kentucky High School Blocks Diploma For Student Who Praised Jesus In Unscripted Graduation Speech
It can be difficult to declare one’s beliefs in today’s society without encountering opposition. Micah Price, a Campbell County High School alumnus from Alexandria, Kentucky, found himself in this situation. Micah bravely shared his faith in Jesus Christ during his graduation speech, which caused the institution to first withhold his diploma.
Micah was allowed to mention Jesus Christ in his speech on May 24 at Northern Kentucky University’s commencement ceremony, which took place at Truist Arena. He took use of the occasion to exhort other Christians to maintain their faith. He was met with thunderous ovation from the crowd as he said, “Class, before another word leaves my mouth, I must give the honor, the praise, and the glory to my lord and savior Jesus Christ.”
Micah declared, “Who in his very words tells us he is the light, he is the way, the truth, and the life,” going beyond simple acknowledgment. I’m here to inform the class and everyone in the audience today that if you don’t have any of those things in your life and you’re having trouble finding the solution, then my lord and savior is the solution. The audience applauded this sincere message, but school administrators were not happy with his deviation from the authorized script.
Following his speech, Micah was approached by administrators from the school, informing him that he would have to defend his actions to the board of education. He received a rebuke from the school and had his diploma temporarily delayed. As Micah said in a TikTok video, “I went off script during the speech, so one of the principals came in, tapped me on the shoulder, and very politely and professionally told me that I was going to have to go in front of the board and explain what I did.”
Micah had previously been permitted to name his “lord and savior Jesus Christ” by the Campbell County School District, but they had required he adhere to the preapproved script. “All speakers were told that going off their submitted speech, or any unplanned choices at graduation, may have repercussions as they would at any school function,” Superintendent Shelli Wilson said in her explanation. Other than this outpouring of Christian faith, off-program decisions like political election remarks, incorrect language use, or speech, signs, and caps supporting any cause or religion could have the opposite effect.
But Micah remained steadfast in his convictions. He said that in order to prevent dividing the audience, the additional preaching that was originally included in his screenplay was removed at the school’s request. He told WKRC, “I think it was okay that I thanked him, but maybe it wasn’t what they wanted when I went in and pushed them to follow him and other Christians to stand up and talk about him.”
Though they had been reprimanded, Micah didn’t feel bad for the school administrators since he understood they were just carrying out their duties. He said, accepting full responsibility for his acts, “I follow God’s instructions, not anyone else’s. Thus, I am the one at fault if anyone is. I should be punished. When Micah finally got his certificate after a protracted holiday weekend, he described it as “an answered prayer.”
Micah, who is planning to enrol in the US Air Force Academy, is unwavering in his convictions and has no regrets. “Holding it is simply a prayer that has been answered; nothing more,” he uttered. Many find encouragement in Micah’s steadfast faith and bravery in defending his convictions, which demonstrate the strength of willpower and conviction in the face of difficulty.
Micah’s story serves as a reminder of the value of standing up for our values in a world when it might be difficult to communicate such beliefs. His story inspires others to be brave and unyielding in their convictions by demonstrating the power of strong character and the significant influence of unflinching faith.
Leave a Reply