A lot of big, tragic and important things have happened to this wonderful country of ours since April 2014. None of which I have covered. I was too busy writing about hungover parenting, ancient philosophy and my dog Colin.
Out of the 536 columns I have written, 27 were about that guy. Far too few. He is such a good boy, he deserves an article a week.
Today is the end of an era for me, and whenever these final events pop up in our lives, we can’t help but think about the ultimate end.
Everything we do, we will one day do for the last time. That’s why you have to enjoy things while they are around. It’s not just big events like leaving a job, house or loved one either. Whatever moment you happen to be in now, you will never get it back, and you don’t know how many more you have.
Everything we do in life, from eating pizza to spending time with the people we love, to driving, writing, drinking or breathing, we will one day experience for the final time. It might happen tomorrow. This can be either a depressing or an inspiring thought, depending on how you look at it.
A few years back in this column, I interviewed professor of philosophy William B Irvine, of Wright State University, Ohio, on this very topic. He put it this way on a Zoom call: “Recognition of the impermanence of everything in life can invest the things we do with a significance and intensity that would otherwise be absent. The only way we can be truly alive is if we make it our business periodically to entertain thoughts of the end.”
Today’s column is very meaningful to me because it is my last. Like the last night with a lover before she goes overseas. And just like a lover, there have been some half-arsed efforts put in from me over the years. Last week, for example, I spent 750 words moaning about how bad my cricket team is. But the truth is that any of my columns could have been the final. If I had reminded myself every week for the past 10 years that the end is inevitable, I may have been more grateful for having a column and appreciated writing them all as much as I am this one.
While everything we do could have more meaning with a focus on finitude, some things are inherently more worthwhile than others. There is no doubt my column “The pros and cons of wearing Speedos” from November 2022 was less meaningful than most things in this world. That was a waste of everyone’s time. So, if we only have so much time, how do we pick the best things to do?
Well, Oliver Burkeman, the author of Four Thousand Weeks – Time Management For Mortals, suggested this to me in a 2022 column: “Ask yourself, does this choice enlarge me? You usually know on some unspoken level if it does. That’s a good way to distinguish between options.”
With that in mind, I don’t feel great about my 2018 article on “New Zealand’s best hole”. That didn’t enlarge anyone.
There will be people reading this column right now who have loved my writing in the Herald and are sad to see it end. Others will have hated it and are glad to see me go. Many won’t have any opinion at all. But for those in the first camp, I have good news. I have a book coming out on May 28 called A Life Less Punishing – 13 Ways To Love The Life You Got (Allen and Unwin Book Publishers). It’s a deep dive into the history, philosophy and science of not wasting our time lost in anger, loneliness, humiliation, stress, fear, boredom and all the other ways we find to not enjoy perfectly good lives. It’s available for pre-order right now (google it if you’re interested).
A Life Less Punishing took me two years to write and is equivalent in words to 100 of these columns. Which would be a complete nightmare for those in the hate camp, but as I say, great news for those who want more.
Anyway, thanks to the Herald for having me, thanks to the lovely people who make an effort to say nice things to me about my column nearly every day and thanks to the universe for every single second we get.
Bless!
An 82-year-old man who felt alone and lost his wife chooses to assist his new neighbours.
Moving to a new place with five kids might be a little scary because everything is new, including the people, places, and way of life.
This is what Sharaine Carabello, 32, and her husband Wilson, 42, went through when they moved from Texas to Pawtucket, Rhode Island. They were especially worried about being accepted because they were the only Black family in the neighborhood and had no idea what the future held.
The Caraballo family was worried about blending in at their new neighborhood until they unexpectedly received assistance from their 82-year-old neighbor, Paul Callahan. Paul, who had recently lost his wife, greeted them warmly. When he brought tools and offered to help fix up their house, they bonded in a special way.
Paul was a manager at Texas Instruments once, and according to USA Today’s Sharaine Carabello, he was like family. They got him through a terrible time by helping him with handyman tasks and inviting him to family gatherings. As their bond grew, Paul assumed the role of honorary grandpa for the Caraballo kids.
Paul did more than just fix broken objects around the house; he became an essential part of the Caraballo family’s daily schedule. He becomes the children’s favorite person, known as “Grandpa,” by making them happy, telling them stories, and spending almost every day with them.
Paul, who likes to socialize and engage with others, thinks that developing relationships is essential. He thinks that if you don’t give it a try, you can miss out on making friends. Paul says it doesn’t have to cost anything to be kind, and you typically get something good in return.
https://www.tiktok.com/embed/v2/7269046808612064554?lang=en-US&referrer=https%3A%2F%2Fnewsweekly.site%2Fan-82-year-old-man-who-felt-alone-and-lost-his-wife-chooses-to-assist-his-new-neighbours%2F%3Ffbclid%3DIwZXh0bgNhZW0CMTAAAR1A1fhZT79X0nCyyQTWqSb1zHta4CHRwgCwDYBg9Eq-ecxANRASyUmu7BU_aem__h8wterfBZnfo6rzTIIOJg
The Caraballo family became close to Paul by choosing to be open and understanding with him, even though they were only neighbors. They learned that families are made up of more members than only their biological relatives. You might feel like you belong and get the support you need by forming close relationships with others.
In this unexpected bond, the Caraballos found a helpful neighbor as well as a loving family member. Conversely, Paul experienced a newfound feeling of fulfillment and purpose, proving that sometimes, individuals come into our lives at the very moment we most need them.
What do you think of this charming story? Tell us in the section that follows!
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