A lot of big, tragic and important things have happened to this wonderful country of ours since April 2014. None of which I have covered. I was too busy writing about hungover parenting, ancient philosophy and my dog Colin.
Out of the 536 columns I have written, 27 were about that guy. Far too few. He is such a good boy, he deserves an article a week.
Today is the end of an era for me, and whenever these final events pop up in our lives, we can’t help but think about the ultimate end.
Everything we do, we will one day do for the last time. That’s why you have to enjoy things while they are around. It’s not just big events like leaving a job, house or loved one either. Whatever moment you happen to be in now, you will never get it back, and you don’t know how many more you have.
Everything we do in life, from eating pizza to spending time with the people we love, to driving, writing, drinking or breathing, we will one day experience for the final time. It might happen tomorrow. This can be either a depressing or an inspiring thought, depending on how you look at it.
A few years back in this column, I interviewed professor of philosophy William B Irvine, of Wright State University, Ohio, on this very topic. He put it this way on a Zoom call: “Recognition of the impermanence of everything in life can invest the things we do with a significance and intensity that would otherwise be absent. The only way we can be truly alive is if we make it our business periodically to entertain thoughts of the end.”
Today’s column is very meaningful to me because it is my last. Like the last night with a lover before she goes overseas. And just like a lover, there have been some half-arsed efforts put in from me over the years. Last week, for example, I spent 750 words moaning about how bad my cricket team is. But the truth is that any of my columns could have been the final. If I had reminded myself every week for the past 10 years that the end is inevitable, I may have been more grateful for having a column and appreciated writing them all as much as I am this one.
While everything we do could have more meaning with a focus on finitude, some things are inherently more worthwhile than others. There is no doubt my column “The pros and cons of wearing Speedos” from November 2022 was less meaningful than most things in this world. That was a waste of everyone’s time. So, if we only have so much time, how do we pick the best things to do?
Well, Oliver Burkeman, the author of Four Thousand Weeks – Time Management For Mortals, suggested this to me in a 2022 column: “Ask yourself, does this choice enlarge me? You usually know on some unspoken level if it does. That’s a good way to distinguish between options.”
With that in mind, I don’t feel great about my 2018 article on “New Zealand’s best hole”. That didn’t enlarge anyone.
There will be people reading this column right now who have loved my writing in the Herald and are sad to see it end. Others will have hated it and are glad to see me go. Many won’t have any opinion at all. But for those in the first camp, I have good news. I have a book coming out on May 28 called A Life Less Punishing – 13 Ways To Love The Life You Got (Allen and Unwin Book Publishers). It’s a deep dive into the history, philosophy and science of not wasting our time lost in anger, loneliness, humiliation, stress, fear, boredom and all the other ways we find to not enjoy perfectly good lives. It’s available for pre-order right now (google it if you’re interested).
A Life Less Punishing took me two years to write and is equivalent in words to 100 of these columns. Which would be a complete nightmare for those in the hate camp, but as I say, great news for those who want more.
Anyway, thanks to the Herald for having me, thanks to the lovely people who make an effort to say nice things to me about my column nearly every day and thanks to the universe for every single second we get.
Bless!
Horrifying moment Eddie Hall passed out doing brutal strongman challenge that most people wouldn’t dare to attempt
When it comes to Strongmen, Eddie Hall just has to be one of the most famous in Britain.
The bloke’s a legend and has delivered us with all sorts of memorable moments from knocking out two brothers in one round during his MMA debut to that time he leg pressed 1,000kg.
But the former UK’s Strongest Man doesn’t half put himself through it, that’s for sure. Like during a previous competition, when footage captured the horrifying moment Hall passed out during a brutal Strongman challenge that most people wouldn’t dare to even attempt.
The now 36-year-old was participating in the Conan’s Wheel event, titled after the famed character of ‘muscle and might’ – Conan the Barbarian.
Conan’s Wheel is tipped by Strongman as a ‘test of unrivalled endurance and strength’ that demands ‘not just muscle power but mental stamina’.
Basically, it’s a yards-long bar, fitted onto a pivot and at the end of ‘Conan’s Bar’ are typically weights that the athlete must then lift and carry around.
The dreaded challenge is now a vital component in premier strength competitions around the world but certainly isn’t for the faint hearted.
And when Hall was competing to become Britain’s Strongest Man in 2014, the video shows just what it put him through.
The commentator can be heard saying: “This is mind over matter and his mind says the pain does not matter,” as The Beast carries the bar.
As he completes full circles of the wheel, it’s noted that Hall is going slower than his competitor as they explain that with ‘his body shape, you wouldn’t expect him to do particularly well here’.
He appears to be starting to struggle as his arms start to ‘sink down to his waist’ and he’s ‘barely able to move’.
As he gets slower, Hall then drops the bar, falling to his knees and onto his back as he appears to pass out after doing 720 degrees of ‘Conan’s Circle’.
Hall collapsed to the floor. ( Giants Live STRONGMAN/YouTube)
Crew then rush over to the Strongman as he soon comes round and gets back to his feet ‘covered in paint and covered in glory’.
You certainly can’t knock Hall’s determination, it still worked out for him, as he ended up winning his first Britain’s Strongest Man title that year.
That started off an impressive run for him, as he won his fifth straight Britain’s Strongest Man competition in 2018 before retiring from the competitions shortly after. What a legend.
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