Do I Need to Tell My Husband What I Caught Our Son Doing?
In the heart of a serene farmhouse nestled on a sprawling property, a mother’s world turned upside down as she stumbled upon a painful truth. A family reunion, initially intended as an opportunity for togetherness took an unexpected turn, leaving the matriarch in a state of shock and confusion.
A red barn house | Source: Pexels
In July 2020, an anonymous female poster shared her story in Reddit’s “Relationship Advice” forum. The Original Poster (OP) revealed how her brother, aged 37, along with his wife and two children, moved into the large farmhouse owned by her and her farmer husband.
The intention was to create a harmonious living arrangement, allowing everyone to work remotely and providing OP’s nieces with the charm of farm life. OP, aged 44, was already a mother to three children, all of whom lived with her and her husband. The kids included an 18-year-old son, a 16-year-old daughter, and a 13-year-old daughter.
Woman holding a shopping cart in a grocery store | Source: Shutterstock
On the day her brother arrived at her farmhouse, OP went on a routine trip to buy groceries with her son. She bought food while he purchased his gym supplements from the nearest pharmacy. When her son returned home, OP noticed an unexpected item in her 18-year-old son’s bag — two packs of condoms, totaling 72. She dismissed it at the time, attributing it to responsible behavior in a newfound relationship.
Despite being taken aback and utterly speechless, OP kept herself composed and decided not to confront them.
A family of three enjoying a walk on their farm | Source: Shutterstock
Months passed, and the family routine continued with apparent normalcy. The brother, his wife, and the eldest son engaged in early morning runs around the farm, creating an illusion of a close-knit family.
OP didn’t sense anything unusual until June 2020 when her son and SIL supposedly left for their morning run but she didn’t see them make any rounds around the farm, despite being awake in the morning baking something delicious for the family.
“I asked about it and they said they decided to hit the road (I [thought] nothing of this everything seemed normal). My SIL and son seemed to have a very good bond,” explained OP. However, the idyllic facade would soon shatter.
Woman looking outside through the blinds | Source: Shutterstock
A day before sharing her story online, OP was returning home from a friend’s house early in the morning when something struck her. The sun wasn’t up yet, and the sky was a little dark, allowing her to notice that the cabin on her farm was open with a light still on.
OP walked over to turn off the lights and close the door, thinking that perhaps one of the workers forgot to lock up the cabin. Just when she was about to close the door and switch off the lights, something caught OP’s attention. Moving closer, she heard people making love, which triggered her to sneak a peek.
Couple sleeping together | Source: Shutterstock
To OP’s dismay, it was none other than her oldest son and 34-year-old sister-in-law sharing physical intimacy. Despite being taken aback and utterly speechless, OP kept herself composed and decided not to confront them.
Reeling from the shock and feeling conflicted, OP couldn’t help but wonder about the timeline of her son and SIL’s allegedly close relationship. The shock was palpable, leaving OP grappling with a myriad of emotions.
The revelation posed a series of challenging decisions – should she confront them? Should she disclose the truth to her brother? What about her husband? The weight of the secrets she now harbored cast a somber shadow over the once-harmonious family home.
Worried senior woman sitting on a couch | Source: Shutterstock
Reflecting on the signs she had overlooked–the unexplained morning runs, the seemingly close relationship between her son and sister-in-law, and the abundance of condoms–OP found herself at a crossroads. Thereafter, she turned to random strangers online for help and advice.
OP’s narrative received an overwhelming response from fellow readers, many of whom shared their thoughts in the comments. “I grew up on a farm and I’m just going to give you the advice no one here has yet – hide the guns. Lock them up in a safe if you have one and put the key in a new place. No matter how you handle this it’s gonna be bad. I’m surprised at people’s advice to go to your brother first,” suggested one user.
“Talk to your husband first, then your son with your husband, then your brother. l based on those conversations. Your husband deserves to know what’s happening with his son and you need to protect your kid before your brothers feelings [sic],” divulged another commenter.
Husband comforts anxious wife | Source: Shutterstock
“First, tell your husband so you’ll have some support and backup. Next, you need to ascertain the nature of this relationship…You’ll have to eventually fess up to your brother and what happens next will depend on the situation…The only sure thing is that your brother and SIL are almost certainly done,” quipped another netizen.
After all the advice the OP got from the commenters she decided to follow suit and tell her husband. Her husband was angry about what his son did and could not believe his ears. Then as a couple, they confronted the son and he was already aware they knew so he did not deny anything.
A couple fighting | Source: Shutterstock
He confessed that it all started at the SIL party, when they drank too much and ended up having intercourse in the bathroom. Since then they have been meeting up at hotels. The news eventually got to the brother and he took his children and left.
What are your thoughts on this story? How would you handle the situation if you were in OP’s shoes?
My mom prohibited me from seeing my dad, but his phone call changed everything
My mother did everything in her power to prevent me from seeing my father after they divorced. But once my dad tricked me on the phone, and everything changed.
“I don’t want to see you ever again!” my mom yelled as my father got into the car and left our home forever. That was my earliest memory. Dad left when I was two years old after a huge fight with my mother.
They got divorced, and I didn’t see him for many years. As I got older, I realized that my mother was preventing me from seeing my father. “I want to visit Dad. Please!” I begged when I was ten years old.
“No! You can’t go see him. He’s busy with his new family and doesn’t want to see you,” she replied.
“I know that’s not true! You’re lying to me! I talk to him on the phone, and he wants to see me!” I cried, pleading with her to see my father.
“Don’t talk back to me, Alexandra! Your father left us and doesn’t deserve to have a relationship with you now,” Mom said. I thought that was unfair, but I was still just a child.
My dad and I kept in constant contact over the phone, but I really wanted to spend time with him, and I knew he wanted the same. However, Mom was an expert at getting her way.
As a teenager, I decided to go on my own to see him, and she called the cops on me. They picked me up before I could reach his house and drove me back home.
“The next time you try to disobey me, I will say that your father kidnapped you, and he will go to jail where he belongs!” she screamed at me when the cops left.
Back then, I thought she was doing the right thing for me, but as I grew up, I realized that it was pure selfishness on her part. I didn’t want to hang out with her or do anything. I also started rebelling at school. She drove a huge wedge between us, and I didn’t care anymore.
“Alexandra, do you want to go shopping with me?” she asked me one day. I was 17 years old and had grown to almost hate her.
“Nope,” I answered.
“How about the movies?”
“Nope.”
“Why don’t you want to do anything with me?” she whined.
“Really? You’re asking me that question? You know exactly why I treat you this way,” I said in a bored tone.
“I have done nothing to you! All the sacrifices I have made for you, and you’re so ungrateful!” Mom yelled once more.
“Yeah, ok. Close the door, please,” I added.
By then, I was immune to her tantrums and how she victimized herself to get away with things. I moved out as soon as I turned 18 and never looked back.
But seeing my dad wasn’t any easier. I had to work two jobs and go to school. He was also busy with work, and his second wife had just delivered twins by then. Neither of us had time, so we put it off.
I met with him on a Saturday afternoon at his house and met his wife. They showed me the twins, and we talked for a while. But it felt so awkward that I didn’t want to do it again. Maybe my mother had ruined any chance I had at a relationship with him.
We talked on the phone for a long time once a week. I asked about the twins and told him about my life. It wasn’t ideal, but it worked for us. Years went by this way. I didn’t hear of my mother until I was 29 years old.
“Hey, Alexandra,” she spoke on the phone tentatively.
“Oh, hey, Mom,” I answered, confused with her call.
“We haven’t talked in a long time. How are you?” she asked.
“I’m fine. How about you?” I replied. We chitchatted awkwardly for a few minutes, and then she got to the point.
“Listen, honey. I was hoping that we could work on mending our relationship. How does that sound?” Mom wondered.
“I don’t know. Are you going to apologize for everything?” I retorted.
“I…I still don’t think I did anything wrong. I was trying to protect you from being hurt like I was when you were little. But I understand that you felt differently,” she explained.
“So, you’re not apologizing?” I continued, tired of this conversation. She was never going to acknowledge her wrongs, and I had no time for that.
“Alexandra! I’m your mother. You haven’t talked to me in years! You’re so selfish!” she wailed, raising her voice.
“Ok, goodbye,” I said and hung up the phone. She tried calling me back, but I ignored her. I would not let her back into my life until she apologized.
Another year went by, and I received a strange call from my dad. He never called during working hours. “Alexandra! This is an emergency! Can you come to see me?” Dad said urgently through the phone.
“What? Dad? What’s going on?” I asked, worried.
“I sent you an address. Come quickly! This is a matter of life or death!” he told me and hung up.
I went to my boss, took a day off work, and ran to my car. But the address Dad gave me took me right to an amusement park close to his house.
“Hey, honey!” he smiled when I met him at the front gate.
“Dad! Why are we here? What’s the emergency?” I asked, confused.
“The emergency is that you and I never got to do all the fun things father and daughters do over the years. We have put off building a real relationship, and I don’t want to waste any more time. Let’s go have fun!” Dad explained.
“Can you go on the rides? I know you have had some health problems lately,” I said hesitantly.
“I’m fit as a fiddle. Come on!” he urged.
We spent the entire day at the park and talked about everything. I felt like a child for the first time in my life, and it was wonderful.
I also told him about my problems with Mom and how hard it was when she didn’t let me see him. “Your mother is complicated and full of pride. But she’s not evil. We didn’t work out, and she couldn’t take it,” he started.
“Yeah, I wished I could’ve lived with you,” I told him.
“Well, I was pretty lost for many years trying to figure things out. We might have hated each other. But here we are, and I think you should patch things up with her. Life is too short to hold grudges,” he said.
After that marvelous day at the park, we went to dinner. When I got home, I called Mom and told her everything I felt regarding my dad. How she hurt me back then by not letting me spend time with him and how fun our day had been. She cried and apologized to me for the first time. I felt like she understood, and we started talking more often.
Meanwhile, I grew closer to my dad and loved babysitting my twin half-siblings. We even took them to the amusement park for a fun day too.
I finally had the childhood I always wanted.
What can we learn from this story?
Divorce happens between couples, not with children. Alexandra’s mother didn’t understand that her father divorced her but wanted a relationship with their daughter.
Life is too short for grudges. Alexandra’s father is right. Sometimes, it’s better to forgive for your own sake. Let go of things that make you angry, and your mental health will improve.
Share this story with your friends. It might brighten their day and inspire them.
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