Man from Dating Site Brought His Parents on Our First Date with Their Ridiculous Demand – I Decided to Outplay Them

Who brings their parents to a first date? My boyfriend from a dating app did. But what really got me was the list of OUTRAGEOUS DEMANDS his parents brought with them. I knew I’d have to outwit them… but on my own terms.

When I virtually met Jacob on a dating site several months ago, we hit it off instantly. The connection felt real — the kind that makes your heart skip a beat when you see a new message notification. I grew to think that he was “the one,” but then when we actually met… well, let’s just say reality has a way of shattering our perfectly crafted illusions.

A woman holding a phone | Source: Unsplash

A woman holding a phone | Source: Unsplash

Three months of late-night texts and hour-long video calls had built up to this moment. Jacob wasn’t just another match; he was different.

While most guys led with cheesy pickup lines or bland “hey” messages, he had caught my attention with a detailed comment about my profile photo taken at Comic-Con.

“Is that a handmade Scarlet Witch costume?” he’d written. “The detail work is incredible!”

From there, our conversations flowed naturally. He listened, really listened, when I talked about my work as a graphic designer and my dreams of starting my own studio.

A woman using a computer | Source: Midjourney

A woman using a computer | Source: Midjourney

He shared my love for true crime podcasts and could quote every episode of my favorite shows by heart. When I mentioned my sister’s battle with depression, he opened up about his own experiences with anxiety.

“I feel like I can tell you anything,” he’d said during one of our video calls, his warm brown eyes crinkling at the corners. “I’ve never connected with someone like this before.”

“Me neither,” I’d admitted, feeling my cheeks flush. “Sometimes I worry this is too good to be true.”

He’d laughed then, running a hand through his dark hair. “I can’t wait to finally meet you in person. Friday at Coffee Beanz? 7 p.m.?”

A man using a laptop | Source: Pexels

A man using a laptop | Source: Pexels

“It’s a date! Finally!” I’d chirped, unable to contain my excitement.

“See you on Friday!” He said as I hung up, blushing.

I spent the entire week planning my outfit, finally settling on a gorgeous dress that my best friend Sarah insisted brought out my eyes.

“He won’t know what hit him,” she’d said, helping me style my hair.

Friday evening found me standing outside Coffee Beanz, smoothing down my dress for the hundredth time. Through the window, I could see couples enjoying their meals, soft candlelight flickering across their faces.

People in a cafe | Source: Unsplash

People in a cafe | Source: Unsplash

My hands were shaking slightly as I pushed open the heavy wooden door, the warm aroma of garlic and fresh bread enveloping me. My eyes nervously darted around in search of Jacob.

“Lia! Over here!”

I turned toward Jacob’s familiar voice, my practiced smile freezing on my face. There he sat, but not ALONE.

An older couple sat beside him, their faces beaming with smiles. My heart, which had been filled with excitement all day, sank to my stomach.

“Hey… um, hi, what’s going on?” I managed, my brain struggling to process the scene before me.

A shocked woman | Source: Pexels

A shocked woman | Source: Pexels

Jacob stood up, his bright smile unchanged as if this was completely normal. “Lia, I’m so excited to finally meet you! These are my parents, Linda and Patrick!”

Linda, a petite woman with perfectly coiffed gray hair and gold earrings that probably cost more than my monthly rent, gave me a practiced smile that didn’t reach her eyes. Patrick, sporting a dress shirt that seemed a size too small for his frame, barely looked up from his menu.

“Sit down, girl,” Linda patted the chair next to her, not next to Jacob. “While we wait for our appetizers, I have a few questions for you.”

An older lady smiling | Source: Midjourney

An older lady smiling | Source: Midjourney

I sank into the chair, still trying to make sense of this ambush. The waiter appeared with water glasses, and I found myself wishing it was something stronger.

That’s when Linda pulled out a crisp sheet of paper from her designer handbag.

“Now then,” she cleared her throat, clicking her gold-plated pen. “I’ve prepared a brief questionnaire to help us get to know you better. I want you to fill it out.”

Sheets of paper on a table | Source: Pexels

Sheets of paper on a table | Source: Pexels

My eyes scanned the paper she placed before me, each question worse than the last:

1. What is your current annual income and five-year career projection?

2. Please list any medical conditions, including a family history of genetic disorders.

3. How many romantic partners have you had, and what were the reasons for those relationships ending?

4. Do you own or lease your vehicle? What is your credit score?

5. Are you willing to sign a prenuptial agreement?

6. Do you plan to work after having children? If so, who will provide childcare?

7. What is your stance on living with in-laws?

8. Are you willing to host special occasions like Thanksgiving & Christmas every year without expecting a penny from your partner?

A startled woman covering her mouth | Source: Pexels

A startled woman covering her mouth | Source: Pexels

The questions went on and on like a never-ending train carriage. My water glass stopped halfway to my mouth. “I’m sorry, but is this for real?”

“Of course it is, dear,” Linda replied, her tone suggesting I was being deliberately difficult. “Our family has certain standards to maintain. We need to ensure any potential partners for our Jacob are… suitable.”

My eyes darted to Jacob, waiting for him to jump in, to say this was all a joke. But he just sat there, examining his napkin as if it held the secrets of the universe.

A man sitting casually | Source: Midjourney

A man sitting casually | Source: Midjourney

Something snapped inside me. Three months of building this connection, sharing hopes and fears, only to be treated like a job applicant? No. This called for a different approach.

“Would you excuse me for just a moment?” I smiled sweetly. “Ladies’ room.”

Instead of heading to the restroom, I ducked into the convenience store next door. Five minutes later, I returned with my own notebook and pen.

“Before I answer your questions,” I said, sitting down with renewed confidence, “I have a few of my own.”

A woman holding a piece of paper | Source: Pexels

A woman holding a piece of paper | Source: Pexels

Linda’s perfectly plucked eyebrows shot up in surprise as I placed the paper with my questions on the table. She picked it up and began reading loudly, her face speaking volumes of her anger.

“Question one: At what point did you realize your son wasn’t capable of choosing his own partner?”

Patricks’s face reddened. Jacob finally looked up from his napkin.

“Question two: How many women have actually completed your interrogation process? Or do most run screaming before the credit check?”

“This is completely inappropriate!” Linda’s voice pitched higher as she continued to read.

A furious older woman with a man | Source: Midjourney

A furious older woman with a man | Source: Midjourney

“Question three: Do you also inspect their teeth like show horses, or is that saved for the second date?”

“Question four: When Jacob moves out of your basement, will you be requiring his future wife to submit weekly progress reports?”

“Question five: Have you considered therapy for your control issues, or is that too personal a question?”

“That’s enough!” Jacob slammed his hand on the table, making the silverware jump. “You have no right to disrespect my family like this!”

An angry man | Source: Midjourney

An angry man | Source: Midjourney

I leaned back, crossing my arms. “Oh, but they have every right to treat me like I’m applying for a position at the FBI?”

“My parents are just looking out for me,” he protested, his voice weak. “They want what’s best— “

“No, Jacob. What’s best for you would be growing a backbone and living your own life.”

Linda and Patrick were already gathering their things, faces flushed with indignation. Linda’s hands shook as she stuffed her questionnaire back into her bag.

“We’re leaving,” she announced. “Jacob, come on. She’s not the one for you.”

“Wait!” I called out, loud enough for nearby tables to turn. “Aren’t you forgetting something?”

Side shot of a woman | Source: Midjourney

Side shot of a woman | Source: Midjourney

They paused. “WHAT??”

“Waiter, these people are trying to leave without paying their bill!” I announced loudly, waving to the waiter. “Guess running out on checks is another proud family tradition!”

The restaurant had gone quiet. Linda’s hands shook as she pulled out her credit card, practically throwing it at the waiter. I stood up, smoothing my dress once again.

“Well, this has been entertaining. I’ll cover my water.” I placed a five-dollar bill on the table and turned to Jacob.

“Good luck finding someone who meets your family’s rigorous standards. Although, you might want to try job recruitment sites instead of dating apps. I hear they provide detailed background checks and references.”

A woman laughing | Source: Midjourney

A woman laughing | Source: Midjourney

As I walked out into the cool evening air, my phone buzzed with a message from Jacob, “You didn’t have to be so cruel. My parents were just looking out for me.”

I typed back, “Just looking out for myself, mama’s boy. Goodbye!”

Later that night, Sarah called to hear about the date. After I finished telling her everything, she was quiet for a moment.

“You know what?” she finally said. “I bet Linda has a spreadsheet ranking all of Jacob’s potential wives.”

We both burst out laughing, and I felt the last of my disappointment melt away. Dodged a bullet? Absolutely. And I’ve never been so grateful for a red flag wrapped in a questionnaire.

A woman walking away | Source: Midjourney

A woman walking away | Source: Midjourney

This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.

The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.

SIMON COWELL HAS HAD A TOUGH TIME IN THE PAST FEW YEARS, AND IT HAS SIGNIFICANTLY AFFECTED HIS LIFE.

Simon Cowell faced health problems due to two bicycle accidents that happened two years apart. He and the other judges of America’s Got Talent talked about it on the Today Show with hosts Heidi Klum, Howie Mandel, and Terry Crews. The 63-year-old celebrity had another accident in London in 2022 while riding his e-bike, following a previous fall in Malibu in 2020.

Simon was asked how the bike accidents changed his view on life for the upcoming 18th season of America’s Got Talent.

Before the accidents, he admitted, “I wasn’t in the best shape, so the accidents were pretty bad for me.” It wasn’t until the recovery process that he realized how unfit he was.

Then he said, “It was an eye-opener, a true moment of realization!” Simon noticed his strong passion for biking and said he believed everything happens for a reason.

He declared, “I’m not giving up on my bike,” making his fellow judges happy. He really loves these amazing inventions.

After the second accident, Simon had to go to the hospital, where they found he had a broken arm and a concussion.

Even though the second bike crash wasn’t as bad as the first, it still made Simon break his back and wear a wrist brace for many months. After these accidents, he changed how he lives, especially for his nine-year-old son, Eric. Simon’s fiancée, Lauren Silverman, inspired him to make positive changes.

In an interview last year with The Sun, he talked about dealing with the aftermath of his e-bike accident. Simon said, “I was in such a bad place when I broke my back that I thought about going to therapy for the first time in my life.”

He felt sad because he couldn’t share his feelings with Eric. Simon wondered when he could do activities with Eric again, like playing soccer and going for walks.

Eric was born to Simon and Lauren on February 14, 2014. After Simon’s bike accidents, he shared that his son came up with a funny new nickname for him.

During an interview with Entertainment Tonight, the judge from Britain’s Got Talent admitted feeling “embarrassed” after watching episodes at home.

Now, Simon’s back has metal rods and screws after surgery, but he found comfort in Eric comparing him to the famous superhero Iron Man.

Simon proudly said, “When I reunited with my family, Eric said, ‘Dad, you look like Iron Man.’” “Yeah, I’m like Iron Man, indeed,” I grinned.

Since then, Simon doesn’t have trouble laughing off his challenges. He even downplayed more serious injuries from working on the AGT stage in June 2021.

During a kid-friendly Shaolin Kung Fu act, Terry asked Simon if he could see himself doing risky acrobatics. Simon joked, “After hurting my back, going around the garden with Eric felt like a great achievement. But, I couldn’t help thinking, ‘Maybe not such a great idea!’”

Simon’s journey shows his unbreakable determination. Despite the difficulties from the bike accidents, he stays excited about cycling and life, finding humor in his misadventures. Share this article with friends and family!

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