Fearing for their children’s futures, parents search for universal parenting techniques that will put their kids on the route to a prosperous job and a happy life. But times are changing, and the old principles of success are no longer relevant. Sometimes, parents’ actions, intended to be helpful, can actually create challenges for their children’s future.
1. Not allowing their kid to fail
Perfectionist parent often strives for perfection themselves, leading them to expect increasing levels of perfection from their child as they grow older — from the child’s artwork never being good enough to their bed not being made perfectly or not studying hard enough. The child faces constant criticism and reprimands but is never allowed to learn from their mistakes. Children of perfectionist parents may grow up to be perfectionists themselves or develop low self-esteem and lack confidence. Both outcomes can negatively impact their future careers.
- Anna’s mother always compared her to Mary, saying, “Look how tidy Mary is compared to you, Anna!” Despite Anna’s efforts to emulate Mary, she never measured up, and her mother’s criticism only intensified. Anna’s mother never allowed her the chance to improve her habits and learn basic skills. Now at 25 years old, Anna still compares herself to others and always comes up short in her own eyes. Needless to say, this constant comparison has taken a toll on her self-esteem.
2. Paying a child for good grades
This topic remains a subject of debate, but consider this perspective: imagine yourself as a contractor continually paying more for a product or service, with the child as the supplier providing it in exchange for money or rewards. It doesn’t sound like a good idea, does it?
- Alexandra’s parents sought to motivate their daughter to excel in her studies by offering money as an incentive. Initially, Alexandra’s grades improved, suggesting the approach was effective. However, her parents later discovered that she had been fabricating stories about an imaginary illness and sharing them with her teachers. She even falsely claimed that her parents constantly criticized her for poor grades. The sympathetic teacher then raised Alexandra’s grades out of pity. Following this incident, Alexandra’s parents discontinued the practice of paying for grades and sought guidance from a child psychologist.
3. Preventing their child from expressing their feelings
Sometimes, adults dismiss a child’s feelings as wrong — insisting that bruises don’t hurt, feeling anger toward a child who hit them is shameful, or being sad even with a valid reason is incorrect. Parents often do this with good intentions, wanting to teach their children proper behavior. However, it’s crucial to recognize that a fundamental skill for modern individuals is the ability to acknowledge and manage their feelings, emotions, and needs.
- Kate, now 37, vividly remembers how her mother forced her to give away her beloved doll to another girl, admonishing her for being “greedy” and scolding her for getting upset over a “stupid toy.” Kate never got her doll back. Over the years, she has worked hard to assert herself, learning to say “no” to demanding people, including her boss and coworkers. Despite this, Kate often feels guilty whenever she refuses to comply with their requests.
4. Failing to support their child in front of strangers
Every child needs the assurance that their parents will stand up for them in any conflict, regardless of the situation, and won’t blindly trust the words of authority figures like teachers, principals, or neighbors. When parents allow their children to speak up for themselves when they are ready to take responsibility for their actions, it helps them develop healthy self-esteem and a sense of personal accountability.
- Maggy was raised by her grandmother, who often said, “But what will other people think?” Although her grandmother loved Maggy and wanted the best for her, she constantly emphasized the importance of public opinion. As a result, Maggy struggles to make her own decisions and even relies on her friends’ opinions when choosing something as simple as dessert.
5. Drawing inspiration and comparing to successful people
Each generation has its own set of heroes whom young people aspire to emulate. In recent decades, the tales of personal success from wealthy and influential individuals have become widespread. However, it’s not as simple as learning their life story and achieving happiness. If it were that easy, everyone who reads their books would have solved all their financial problems by now.
- Alex developed a passion for computers from a young age. Inspired by the story of Steve Jobs that his dad shared with him, Alex immersed himself in learning everything about Apple. When it came time to choose a university, Alex initially believed he didn’t need higher education because Steve Jobs succeeded without it. Eventually, Alex realized the importance of education for his path and pursued college to advance his career. Now, Alex jokes, “What worked for Steve Jobs is just a waste of time for an ordinary guy like me.”
6. Pressuring their child to decide on their future career
The notion that a person should stick to one career for their entire life is likely outdated and impractical. Many modern occupations didn’t exist a decade ago, while others have already become obsolete.
- Since childhood, Max had a passion for exploring computers and understanding various software programs. Despite his parents’ concerns, he pursued this interest and eventually discovered online courses in software testing. Now, he is thriving in this field, leveraging his potential and skills.
- Laura, at 37, worked as a sociologist for a major consulting firm but found it challenging to maintain her career after having her son. During maternity leave, she rediscovered her love for photography. Starting with unique photos of her child, Laura progressed to offering photoshoots for friends’ and acquaintances’ kids. Over time, she opened her photo studio. Laura now earns as much as her husband and successfully manages her professional life while caring for her family. This shift exemplifies the evolving nature of careers and the importance of embracing new opportunities.
7. Arguing about money
Since children may absorb long-lasting messages from these circumstances, it’s crucial to avoid arguing about money or other matters in front of them. Instead of one-on-one conflicts, which can cause youngsters to take sides and become distressed, talks should be led in a way that promotes involvement.
- Chris grew up witnessing his parents argue about money. When he went to college at 17 and moved away, he struggled with managing his finances and spending on unnecessary items. He now fears starting relationships, believing that money is the root cause of his sadness.
8. Prohibiting the child from using social networks
Social networks have become today’s equivalent of the yards and neighborhoods where we used to play as children. Kids can learn valuable skills through computer programs integrated with social media platforms. While parents should remind their kids about online safety rules, depriving children of this experience can be harsh.
- Aria’s mother was surprised to discover that her 10-year-old daughter had learned to create cool videos. Even more surprising was the realization that Aria had learned this skill from using TikTok. Now, creating short videos has become a family hobby for them.
9. Teaching the kid that they have the stuff at home
Many of us recall times when we asked our parents to buy us things, only to hear, “We already have that at home; we don’t need it.” Some parents repeatedly expose their children to such situations, unintentionally discouraging them from getting what they truly need. This pattern can significantly impact their financial habits as adults. On the other hand, constantly satisfying a child’s every need can also have negative effects.
- Jan’s mother often tells him they have things at home and they don’t buy them from the store. Jan has learned to overlook his needs, and with each subsequent request, he withdraws more, knowing not to ask. When Jan grows up and earns his income, money will go towards trivial things because that’s how he’s learned to live.
10. Preventing children from getting into conflicts
The ability to engage with others is perhaps one of the most crucial professional skills one can possess. It’s important not only to help children make friends but also to teach them how to engage in healthy arguments. People often hold differing opinions, and there are various ways to express emotions. The sooner children grasp this concept, the easier their interactions with others will be, including in professional settings.
- Michaela spent her life avoiding conflicts, preferring to agree with others rather than engage in disputes. She believed that someone always had to be the “smarter” one, but this approach proved more harmful than beneficial. One day, Michaela learned about active listening and decided to apply this approach in her professional life. She excelled at paying attention to others’ perspectives while also expressing her feelings when others attempted to take advantage of her. Initially, people found her communication style unconventional, but conflicts with coworkers became more constructive, leading to mutually beneficial resolutions.
11. Helping their child learn to save money
The world is always changing, and old ways of making or saving money might not work anymore. We can’t predict what skills will be valuable in the future economy. That’s why it’s important to teach kids to be flexible and ready for change, not just to save money.
- Emily’s grandfather saved money his whole life “just in case.” But when that “case” finally happened, a financial meltdown made all his investments lose value. Emily saw this while growing up, and now she’s worried the economy could collapse at any time. She believes the best investment is in her skills and knowledge.
12. Trying to build a strong character with the help of sports
While there’s a widespread belief that sports are beneficial for discipline and character development, excessive competitiveness in professional sports can be detrimental to a child’s physical and mental health. This competitiveness can be fueled by both fellow young athletes and coaches. Only a few individuals become champions, and coaches often prioritize these select few, neglecting the rest of the team. Coping with this unfair treatment at a young age can lead to low self-esteem and confusion about alternative life paths if a child must stop playing sports.
- Tom’s mother pursued rhythmic gymnastics as a child but had to abandon her Olympic dreams due to a leg injury. When Tom was three, his mother enrolled him in gymnastics classes, hoping he would excel. However, Tom struggled in this sport, leading him to lose interest in school, feel like a failure, and struggle to identify his strengths. Now, Tom is studying to become a child psychologist to help parents navigate the challenges of raising children without making the same mistakes.
Being protective of your children is natural, but it’s important to set boundaries. Respecting their privacy is crucial for a healthy parent-child relationship and their personal development. Violating their privacy can have serious negative effects, especially on their mental health.
Struggling Widowed Dad Acquires an Aged Stroller from a Flea Market, Detects a Crackling Noise When He Settles His Baby in It
A widowed father buys his newborn baby girl a second-hand stroller at the flea market and hears a strange crackling sound when he puts the baby in it. He inspects it and makes a heartbreaking discovery that changes their lives.
“This was our favorite spot by the window…All those sunsets when we kissed here! The way you used to blush when I whispered things, tucking your hair strands behind your ears,” Tyler, 30, cried near his bedroom window. Warm tears dropped on his late wife Kylie’s framed photo, haunting him with memories as he stared at the evening sky.
Tyler and Kylie led a happy marriage, and the next big thing happened in their lives when she fell pregnant. Tyler, a cashier in a grocery store, started dreaming of raising a beautiful family. Everything seemed like a beautiful portrait until a storm arrived and dropped a bomb in their nest the day Kylie went into labor…
Tyler could not hold back his tears as he recalled hearing their newborn baby girl Tiara’s loud cries from the maternity ward.–Advertisment–
“And then, they gave me my newborn baby to hold… How warm and soft her skin felt… When I asked about you, they showed you cloaked up to your forehead. Patting my shoulders, they said, ‘We’re sorry. We couldn’t save her.’ Why did you leave us, Kylie??”
Kylie had developed last-minute complications during labor and had died during childbirth, leaving Tyler with a mountainous responsibility on his shoulder.
Do not stop when a dark, difficult path arrives. Take one step at a time and keep going.
The sun disappeared behind the trees as an eerie darkness filled Tyler’s heart. He was lost in deep thought when suddenly, his six-month-old baby girl started crying.
“I’m coming… I’m coming, honey!” Tyler ran to fetch some warm milk. He had nobody to babysit Tiara, so he quit his job to tend to her day and night.
“Awwww…lo-lo-lo…” he fed his baby. Tiara wouldn’t sleep without Tyler cradling her in his arms. Sometimes, she would take over an hour to fall asleep, and Tyler had sore arms carrying her around for a long time.
“Where did I keep it?” Tyler began searching for a metal box where he saved money for petty expenses. Baby Tiara was asleep, so he was cautious not to wake her because once she was up, it would only mean Tyler would have another sleepless night.
“Ah, here it is!!” he exclaimed and opened the box, quickly counting the money. Tyler wanted to buy a stroller. “My arms will ache less and baby Tiara will be happy too!!”
The next day, Tyler went to the flea market in town to buy the baby buggy. Tiara was asleep in his arms, as Tyler walked up and down, cradling her to sleep.
He marched toward the store selling baby essentials and saw a woman with a stroller.
“Hey, miss…hey…hey…I love this stroller. I need one like this for my baby.”
Tyler saw a strange glow light up the woman’s eyes which appeared red, painful, and swollen. It looked as though she had spent several sleepless nights crying. Amanda looked at Tyler’s baby as tears rose in her eyes. She sighed heavily and said, “You can take this. I’ll give it to you for $10!!”
“Only for $10??!” Tyler exclaimed.
“Yes, I changed my mind after seeing your baby. You need this stroller more than I do now. You can take it!”
Tyler was surprised by the generous offer and quickly paid for the stroller. The woman took the money and immediately left, vanishing into the crowd and leaving Tyler puzzled but happy with the bargain.
“Ah, finally, sweetie, dad got you a new buggy. We will go home, clean it, and then you can rest in it, alright?!”
Tyler took the stroller home, unprepared for the discovery he was about to make.
He slightly dusted the stroller that looked too decent for its price. It was used but not worn out. He decided to take Tiara for a walk in her stroller and gently put her in, only to hear a strange crackling noise from under the padded seat. It sounded like a packet of chips getting crushed.
“What is that noise??” Tyler immediately withdrew his baby from the buggy and put her on the couch. He slightly lifted the padding and found a piece of folded paper.
“What is this?” he wondered as he unfolded it and saw a handwritten note addressed to a certain ‘Gigi.’
“To my beloved baby girl, Gigi. Darling, I miss you each minute, each second. Without you, my world has turned into a dark grave…” began the first line.
Tyler was stunned as he sat back near a fast-asleep Tiara and continued reading…
“Sweetie, please forgive mama. I know you’re with your daddy in heaven now. Please know that I will always love you. Please forgive me. I am forced to sell your stroller. Mama has nowhere to go, sweetheart. I love you and miss you, my baby. Love, Mama.”
Tyler’s heart almost skipped a beat when he realized this was a mother’s heartfelt confession to her dead child.
“What happened to her daughter? Who is this woman? Where is she now?” he wondered and set on a mission to find the bereaved mother, unaware of how fate would tie her to his life.
Tyler revisited the flea market the next day and returned to the store where he bought the stroller and inquired about the woman. Luckily, the CCTV footage in the store helped him track her down.
“Yeah, that’s her!” Tyler pointed to the screen.
“She came here to sell an old vintage clock. She told me it belonged to her late mother.”
“Do you know her house??”
“She told me her house is the last across the street.”
“Thanks, pal!!” Tyler said, hurrying to the woman’s house. There he saw the woman packing her things in a cloth bundle and an old suitcase.
“If you can’t pay your rent, you can’t stay here for free!” an older man yelled at her.
“Hey, miss, hey…you remember me? I bought a stroller from you yesterday, remember??” Tyler chimed in. “May I know your name?”
Moments of silence prevailed, and then she said, “My name is Amanda.”
“Amanda, hey, nice to meet you. I found your letter in the stroller,” Tyler added, and Amanda started to cry.
As it turned out, the baby buggy Amanda sold to Tyler was her only reminder of her dead child, who had lost her battle with cancer. Amanda was forced to sell it with the other old items in order to pay for her overdue rent.
“My daughter Gigi was five years old… She was too young and innocent… She didn’t know what cancer was. She was my only hope to live after I lost my husband,” Amanda cried.
The landlord kicked Amanda out because he wanted to lease the house for a higher price. Though Amanda got social security benefits, the money was drained, settling her late husband’s debts.
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that, Amanda. Listen, I have an idea. Why don’t you come and stay at my house until you find a better place to stay?”
Tyler sympathized with Amanda and invited her to live in his house if she wanted. Though hesitant at first, Amanda could not resist the pleasure of spending time with Tyler’s baby girl.
Amanda moved into Tyler’s house and tended to his baby while he returned to work. She cared for little Tiara like a mother, and even the baby loved being around her.
As time flew by, Tyler moved on from his sorrow. He realized that his daughter needed the love and care of both parents and popped the question to Amanda one day. They had fallen in love by then.
Tyler and Amanda married shortly after. They understood that besides needing each other’s support, they could heal each other’s wounds this way.
What can we learn from this story?
When two broken hearts collide, they heal each other’s wounds. Tyler and Amanda were grieving strangers who needed true support to release them from their sorrows. Fate drew parallels between them, and they helped each other overcome their grief.
Do not stop when a dark, difficult path arrives. Take one step at a time and keep going. After losing his wife, Tyler quit his job to tend to his newborn baby. He was devastated but kept going for his baby’s sake.
Share this story with your friends. It might brighten their day and inspire them.
Leave a Reply