Fearing for their children’s futures, parents search for universal parenting techniques that will put their kids on the route to a prosperous job and a happy life. But times are changing, and the old principles of success are no longer relevant. Sometimes, parents’ actions, intended to be helpful, can actually create challenges for their children’s future.
1. Not allowing their kid to fail
Perfectionist parent often strives for perfection themselves, leading them to expect increasing levels of perfection from their child as they grow older — from the child’s artwork never being good enough to their bed not being made perfectly or not studying hard enough. The child faces constant criticism and reprimands but is never allowed to learn from their mistakes. Children of perfectionist parents may grow up to be perfectionists themselves or develop low self-esteem and lack confidence. Both outcomes can negatively impact their future careers.
- Anna’s mother always compared her to Mary, saying, “Look how tidy Mary is compared to you, Anna!” Despite Anna’s efforts to emulate Mary, she never measured up, and her mother’s criticism only intensified. Anna’s mother never allowed her the chance to improve her habits and learn basic skills. Now at 25 years old, Anna still compares herself to others and always comes up short in her own eyes. Needless to say, this constant comparison has taken a toll on her self-esteem.
2. Paying a child for good grades
This topic remains a subject of debate, but consider this perspective: imagine yourself as a contractor continually paying more for a product or service, with the child as the supplier providing it in exchange for money or rewards. It doesn’t sound like a good idea, does it?
- Alexandra’s parents sought to motivate their daughter to excel in her studies by offering money as an incentive. Initially, Alexandra’s grades improved, suggesting the approach was effective. However, her parents later discovered that she had been fabricating stories about an imaginary illness and sharing them with her teachers. She even falsely claimed that her parents constantly criticized her for poor grades. The sympathetic teacher then raised Alexandra’s grades out of pity. Following this incident, Alexandra’s parents discontinued the practice of paying for grades and sought guidance from a child psychologist.
3. Preventing their child from expressing their feelings
Sometimes, adults dismiss a child’s feelings as wrong — insisting that bruises don’t hurt, feeling anger toward a child who hit them is shameful, or being sad even with a valid reason is incorrect. Parents often do this with good intentions, wanting to teach their children proper behavior. However, it’s crucial to recognize that a fundamental skill for modern individuals is the ability to acknowledge and manage their feelings, emotions, and needs.
- Kate, now 37, vividly remembers how her mother forced her to give away her beloved doll to another girl, admonishing her for being “greedy” and scolding her for getting upset over a “stupid toy.” Kate never got her doll back. Over the years, she has worked hard to assert herself, learning to say “no” to demanding people, including her boss and coworkers. Despite this, Kate often feels guilty whenever she refuses to comply with their requests.
4. Failing to support their child in front of strangers
Every child needs the assurance that their parents will stand up for them in any conflict, regardless of the situation, and won’t blindly trust the words of authority figures like teachers, principals, or neighbors. When parents allow their children to speak up for themselves when they are ready to take responsibility for their actions, it helps them develop healthy self-esteem and a sense of personal accountability.
- Maggy was raised by her grandmother, who often said, “But what will other people think?” Although her grandmother loved Maggy and wanted the best for her, she constantly emphasized the importance of public opinion. As a result, Maggy struggles to make her own decisions and even relies on her friends’ opinions when choosing something as simple as dessert.
5. Drawing inspiration and comparing to successful people
Each generation has its own set of heroes whom young people aspire to emulate. In recent decades, the tales of personal success from wealthy and influential individuals have become widespread. However, it’s not as simple as learning their life story and achieving happiness. If it were that easy, everyone who reads their books would have solved all their financial problems by now.
- Alex developed a passion for computers from a young age. Inspired by the story of Steve Jobs that his dad shared with him, Alex immersed himself in learning everything about Apple. When it came time to choose a university, Alex initially believed he didn’t need higher education because Steve Jobs succeeded without it. Eventually, Alex realized the importance of education for his path and pursued college to advance his career. Now, Alex jokes, “What worked for Steve Jobs is just a waste of time for an ordinary guy like me.”
6. Pressuring their child to decide on their future career
The notion that a person should stick to one career for their entire life is likely outdated and impractical. Many modern occupations didn’t exist a decade ago, while others have already become obsolete.
- Since childhood, Max had a passion for exploring computers and understanding various software programs. Despite his parents’ concerns, he pursued this interest and eventually discovered online courses in software testing. Now, he is thriving in this field, leveraging his potential and skills.
- Laura, at 37, worked as a sociologist for a major consulting firm but found it challenging to maintain her career after having her son. During maternity leave, she rediscovered her love for photography. Starting with unique photos of her child, Laura progressed to offering photoshoots for friends’ and acquaintances’ kids. Over time, she opened her photo studio. Laura now earns as much as her husband and successfully manages her professional life while caring for her family. This shift exemplifies the evolving nature of careers and the importance of embracing new opportunities.
7. Arguing about money
Since children may absorb long-lasting messages from these circumstances, it’s crucial to avoid arguing about money or other matters in front of them. Instead of one-on-one conflicts, which can cause youngsters to take sides and become distressed, talks should be led in a way that promotes involvement.
- Chris grew up witnessing his parents argue about money. When he went to college at 17 and moved away, he struggled with managing his finances and spending on unnecessary items. He now fears starting relationships, believing that money is the root cause of his sadness.
8. Prohibiting the child from using social networks
Social networks have become today’s equivalent of the yards and neighborhoods where we used to play as children. Kids can learn valuable skills through computer programs integrated with social media platforms. While parents should remind their kids about online safety rules, depriving children of this experience can be harsh.
- Aria’s mother was surprised to discover that her 10-year-old daughter had learned to create cool videos. Even more surprising was the realization that Aria had learned this skill from using TikTok. Now, creating short videos has become a family hobby for them.
9. Teaching the kid that they have the stuff at home
Many of us recall times when we asked our parents to buy us things, only to hear, “We already have that at home; we don’t need it.” Some parents repeatedly expose their children to such situations, unintentionally discouraging them from getting what they truly need. This pattern can significantly impact their financial habits as adults. On the other hand, constantly satisfying a child’s every need can also have negative effects.
- Jan’s mother often tells him they have things at home and they don’t buy them from the store. Jan has learned to overlook his needs, and with each subsequent request, he withdraws more, knowing not to ask. When Jan grows up and earns his income, money will go towards trivial things because that’s how he’s learned to live.
10. Preventing children from getting into conflicts
The ability to engage with others is perhaps one of the most crucial professional skills one can possess. It’s important not only to help children make friends but also to teach them how to engage in healthy arguments. People often hold differing opinions, and there are various ways to express emotions. The sooner children grasp this concept, the easier their interactions with others will be, including in professional settings.
- Michaela spent her life avoiding conflicts, preferring to agree with others rather than engage in disputes. She believed that someone always had to be the “smarter” one, but this approach proved more harmful than beneficial. One day, Michaela learned about active listening and decided to apply this approach in her professional life. She excelled at paying attention to others’ perspectives while also expressing her feelings when others attempted to take advantage of her. Initially, people found her communication style unconventional, but conflicts with coworkers became more constructive, leading to mutually beneficial resolutions.
11. Helping their child learn to save money
The world is always changing, and old ways of making or saving money might not work anymore. We can’t predict what skills will be valuable in the future economy. That’s why it’s important to teach kids to be flexible and ready for change, not just to save money.
- Emily’s grandfather saved money his whole life “just in case.” But when that “case” finally happened, a financial meltdown made all his investments lose value. Emily saw this while growing up, and now she’s worried the economy could collapse at any time. She believes the best investment is in her skills and knowledge.
12. Trying to build a strong character with the help of sports
While there’s a widespread belief that sports are beneficial for discipline and character development, excessive competitiveness in professional sports can be detrimental to a child’s physical and mental health. This competitiveness can be fueled by both fellow young athletes and coaches. Only a few individuals become champions, and coaches often prioritize these select few, neglecting the rest of the team. Coping with this unfair treatment at a young age can lead to low self-esteem and confusion about alternative life paths if a child must stop playing sports.
- Tom’s mother pursued rhythmic gymnastics as a child but had to abandon her Olympic dreams due to a leg injury. When Tom was three, his mother enrolled him in gymnastics classes, hoping he would excel. However, Tom struggled in this sport, leading him to lose interest in school, feel like a failure, and struggle to identify his strengths. Now, Tom is studying to become a child psychologist to help parents navigate the challenges of raising children without making the same mistakes.
Being protective of your children is natural, but it’s important to set boundaries. Respecting their privacy is crucial for a healthy parent-child relationship and their personal development. Violating their privacy can have serious negative effects, especially on their mental health.
Things in My House Started Moving Around — I Installed a Security Camera and Was Shocked When I Saw the Footage
I had started acclimating to living alone when something strange began occurring in my house. I partly wondered if it was a ghost, maybe my late husband playing a sick game, but I didn’t believe in all that. When I finally found the truth, my jaw dropped, and my head couldn’t stop spinning from the shock!
At 62, I’ve been living alone since my husband passed away 15 years ago. Our son left us two decades back and now lives full-time in another country. However, I’ve noticed strange things happening in my house for the past month. At first, I brushed it off, thinking I might have just forgotten where I put them until one day.
A distressed woman | Source: Midjourney
For weeks, my furniture, photos, and little things like vases and picture frames started moving around by themselves in my house. I chalked it down to old age, but it became impossible to ignore as the days passed.
One day, I found a chair from the dining room pushed up against the living room wall! Then, I noticed a family portrait I hadn’t touched in years lying on the kitchen counter! I thought I was LOSING my mind!
A dining room chair in the living room | Source: Midjourney
To avoid jumping to conclusions and to reassure myself, a few days later, I started taking photos of each room before going to bed. I then compared them to the following morning’s view.
To my shock and dismay, the furniture HAD INDEED moved! And not just by an inch or two; sometimes, entire items were in different rooms! This wasn’t just me misremembering or being forgetful!
A woman comparing a photo | Source: Midjourney
I couldn’t sleep due to the paranoia. I stayed awake, listening for any sounds that would give me a clue of what was happening. But the nights were silent.
I realized I needed solid proof, so I decided to set up a security camera system around the house. I installed two cameras in the living room, one in the kitchen, another in the hallway leading to the bedrooms, and one in my bedroom.
They were simple devices, but I was desperate to get to the bottom of this. That became the best choice but also a bad one because the truth turned out to be much darker than expected.
A camera system | Source: Pexels
For the first few days, nothing unusual showed up on the footage. No movement, no shadows; just the same empty rooms and the stray cat who sometimes wandered around. But on the fifth day, I found something I hadn’t expected.
I played back the recording from my living room camera and froze when I saw it: a figure dressed entirely in black!
Whoever it was, they were careful not to expose any part of their body. Even their face was hidden beneath a mask! I nearly lost it when I saw what was actually happening!
An intruder in a house | Source: Midjourney
I watched in horror as they moved slowly, almost cautiously, as if they knew exactly where the cameras were. It sent shivers down my spine!
The figure rearranged the items in my house, shifting furniture, placing objects in new positions, and even standing eerily still at times, just looking around. The footage showed them sneaking around the house at odd hours, mainly when I was out running errands or during the early morning when I’d just stepped out to get groceries.
The burglar moved so silently and systematically that I wondered how LONG this had been going on!
An intruder placing a living room item into the kitchen | Source: Midjourney
Panicking, I called the police and told them about the intruder. I played the footage back to the officer who came by, and he, too, was visibly disturbed.
“We’ll increase patrols in the area, ma’am,” he said, glancing uneasily at the paused image of the figure on my screen. “But until we catch this person, you need to be extra careful. Lock your doors and windows; all of them.”
I nodded, but couldn’t shake the feeling that more had to be done.
An upset woman talking to a cop | Source: Midjourney
I realized I couldn’t live like this; constantly on edge, feeling unsafe in my own home. So, I asked the officer to help set up a plan. He suggested I leave the house during the day but stay nearby and watch the footage live. That way, if the intruder returned, the police would be ready.
The next day, I packed a small bag and left the house as if going for my usual errands. But instead of running to the store, I went to a small café across the street from my house. I could see my front door clearly from the window seat.
A woman looking at a laptop in a café | Source: Midjourney
My laptop was set up in front of me, and I anxiously watched the live feed from my cameras. For hours, nothing happened. My heart pounded as the minutes ticked by. I sipped coffee, pretending to read a book, but I couldn’t focus on ANYTHING except the screen!
Then, just when I thought maybe today would be another false alarm, the front door creaked open.
My breath caught in my throat!
An intruder at the door | Source: Midjourney
There, standing in my hallway, was the intruder; dressed the same as before! I grabbed my phone with trembling hands and called the same police officer I’d dealt with the other day.
“He’s here,” I whispered as if the intruder could hear me while I tried to keep my voice steady. “He’s in my house right NOW.”
The officer assured me they were already on their way. They had a team positioned just a few blocks down. I watched, my stomach twisting in knots, as the intruder moved through my house again. But this time, something was different.
A worried woman on a phone call | Source: Midjourney
He wasn’t just moving things around; he was going through my belongings. He opened drawers, pulled out old photo albums, and sifted through my personal documents!
I watched, helpless, as he walked into my bedroom and opened the closet. He picked up one of my late husband’s old sweaters, holding it up to his chest for a moment. Then, he dropped it carelessly to the floor. It was like he was taunting me, trying to show me he had control over my life!
An intruder holds a sweater | Source: Midjourney
Just as he was about to leave the room, a loud banging sound echoed through the house, the police had arrived! I saw the figure freeze for a split second before he bolted toward the back door. The officers burst in, guns drawn, shouting commands!
The figure tried to flee, but it was no use. They tackled him to the ground in my backyard!
I could see everything unfolding from my laptop like it was a movie. Relief washed over me, but it was quickly replaced by a sickening dread as they pulled off his mask.
Officers apprehending an intruder | Source: Midjourney
It was my son.
The same son I hadn’t seen or spoken to in 20 years! He looked up at the officers with wild eyes, struggling against their grip.
“Let me go!” he shouted. “This is MY house! I have a right to be here!”
The officers exchanged confused glances and turned to look at each other as I rushed out of the café, stumbling across the street. I felt like I was moving in slow motion! When I finally reached the backyard, I stared at him, disbelief and heartbreak swirling inside me!
An intruder apprehended by a cop | Source: Midjourney
“Why, Trevor?” I managed to say, my voice barely a whisper. “Why would you DO this?”
I was taken aback when he laughed… a bitter, almost unrecognizable sound!
“Why do YOU think? You cut me off all those years ago! You left me with nothing!” He struggled against the officers holding him down. “I needed money, and you were just sitting on all of it, living in this big house by yourself!”
I felt my legs go weak. I had to clutch the side of the patio table to keep from collapsing!
A shocked woman | Source: Midjourney
“So, what?” I asked, my voice shaking. “You wanted to drive me insane? Make me think I was losing my mind?”
“YES!” he spat, glaring up at me with a look of pure hatred.
“If I could get you declared mentally unstable, I’d become your guardian. I could sell the house, get access to your accounts…”
I couldn’t listen anymore. I turned away, tears blurring my vision. I’d spent years missing him, wondering if I’d done something wrong as a mother, and now this? My son, the little boy I’d held in my arm, had come back to torment me for money?
A shocked woman crying | Source: Midjourney
After the police took him away, I sat down in the living room, the room that had once been my sanctuary. Now, it felt like a stranger’s house. Everything was where it should be, but it didn’t feel right anymore.
Days later, I got a call from the station. My son had confessed, on the record, to everything. His debts were enormous, and he was desperate.
I agreed to pay off his debts, not for him, but for the sake of ending this nightmare… he was still my child, after all.
I even dropped the charges against him but got a restraining order.
An upset woman on a call | Source: Freepik
But I made one thing clear: “I never want to see or hear from you again, Trevor. And if I do, you’re going straight to jail! Your father would be so disappointed in who you’ve become. You’re no longer my son.”
I hung up the phone feeling emptier than I ever had in my entire life. I thought losing my husband was hard, but this… this was a pain I couldn’t even begin to describe.
A distressed woman sitting and thinking | Source: Freepik
In the following story, Lily was by her mother’s side when she started deteriorating from cancer. After her mother died, her greedy aunts and brother attended the will reading where they got millions! Lily got nothing and was distressed until the lawyer handed her something that would help her mourn her mother peacefully.
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
Leave a Reply