According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds every night. And while many of us might believe in the saying “couples who sleep apart grow apart” there are studies that show the opposite is actually true.
We at Bright Side believe that there are no wrong or right sleep arrangements, because to some, sleeping in different beds can be as pleasing as for others sharing a bed with their partner.
A poor night’s sleep can turn lovers into fighters.
According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.
Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.
Resenting your partner because you can’t get a good night’s sleep can be destructive to the relationship.
Snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging are just a few of many reasons why some couples choose to sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you beat yourself up to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.
According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.
Each partner can tailor their sleeping conditions to their heart’s content.
Tina Cooper, a licensed social worker, sleeps in different bedrooms with her partner because of their opposite sleeping habits. “I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird. I need soothing sounds to fall asleep, and he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, and I like soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”
How you spend the nighttime in your shared bedroom with your partner can also influence your daytime functioning, marital satisfaction, and psychological and physical health. And when 2 people with different bedtime preferences and nighttime schedules end up together, changing themselves just to please their partner’s needs might harm their relationship in the long run.
Sleeping in different bedrooms with your partner means that the 2 of you will have a place just for yourselves where you can relax after an exhausting day. This way, both of you can satisfy your needs without tiptoeing around and worrying about whether your partner might wake up because you want to watch the latest episode of your show before bed.
Even if you don’t remember waking up, disturbed sleep can have a negative impact on your overall health.
During the night, our brain cycles through the stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (Rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.
Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.
People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.
- “Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
- “My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
- “Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
- “Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420
What are your sleeping arrangements with your partner? Do you believe sleeping in different beds can help a relationship thrive?
At Husband’s Funeral Wife Meets a Woman with His Baby in Her Arms – Story of the Day
Nancy’s life is turned upside down at her husband’s funeral when she encounters an older woman holding a baby. The woman claims the child she is carrying is Nancy’s late husband’s. Is she lying? Or do more shocking revelations await Nancy?
Nancy looked at the final traces of her husband’s funeral service. She couldn’t believe Patrick was gone. He had died in a car accident. It had been a week, but she could still feel him around her. How could he be dead?
With a heavy heart, she headed toward the cemetery’s exit, telling herself she had to start figuring out the rest of her life.
Suddenly, an older woman with a baby blocked her path.
“Are you Nancy?” the woman asked while the baby in her arms cried.
Nancy didn’t recognize her. Who was she?
“I am. Who are you?” Nancy replied.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Shutterstock
Nancy’s heart wasn’t ready when the woman, Amanda, revealed the baby in her arms was Patrick’s child.
“Only you can look after this child now,” she told Nancy. “Her mother can’t provide for her.”
A shiver ran down Nancy’s spine. She stared at the baby and backed away.
“No, it can’t be! Patrick was a loving husband. He would never do this to me!”
Nancy turned around and left. She would never doubt Patrick.
“Watch out!”
Nancy bumped into one of Patrick’s old friends, Mike. She was too lost in her thoughts to notice where she was heading.
Mike started chatting with her, offering his condolences. Nancy didn’t want to talk to anyone, but she had to be courteous. She finished the conversation as soon as she could and headed to her car.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Shutterstock
The baby’s thoughts replayed in her mind, but she dismissed them. However, as Nancy opened her car door, she was shocked. The same baby lay in her back seat, crying.
Nancy looked around. Amanda was nowhere to be seen. “How did this baby even get here?” she wondered.
It was cold, so Nancy removed her jacket and began wrapping it around the little one.
But she froze when she noticed a birthmark on the baby’s neck. “It can’t be,” she muttered to herself.
The birthmark was exactly like Patrick’s. Nancy didn’t want to suspect her late husband of cheating. But now, she needed the truth. She needed to know if Patrick had been unfaithful to her.
Nancy drove home with the baby, took Patrick’s hair strands from his hairbrush, and went to a hospital.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Shutterstock
“Hello, I’d like to get a paternity test done,” she told the receptionist at the counter.
“OK, ma’am. Normally, it takes a few days to get the results,” the woman said.
“Can it be done quicker?” Nancy asked. “I’ll pay extra.”
“Well, we do have expedited service. Let me see what I can do. But it will cost you more.”
“I’ll take it,” Nancy replied. She submitted Patrick’s samples and paid for the test.
Sitting in the hallway, she was awaiting the results when the baby started crying. Nancy sniffed the baby’s clothes. Her diaper didn’t need a change.
Nancy guessed she must have been hungry. There was still time before the results came in, so she drove to a supermarket and bought baby formula, bottles, and a few diapers — just in case she needed them.
She returned to the hallway and sat there, feeding the formula to the baby. After what seemed like an eternity, a nurse approached her with the results.
The woman handed her an envelope and walked away.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Unsplash
“This is the truth, and I’ll have to accept it whether I like it or not,” Nancy thought as she opened the results.
Her head seemed to spin when she read the words, “Paternity rate – 99%.”
Nancy looked at the sleeping baby in her arms and swallowed the tears in her eyes. Patrick had cheated on her and kept her in the dark.
Nancy decided she would not live with the proof of his infidelity forever. She would find the baby’s mother and give the baby back to her.
Pulling herself together, Nancy drove home and began going through Patrick’s things. But she didn’t find anything that could point her to his lover. She moved to his office next, searching his drawers, files, and cabinets. But nothing.
Nancy sighed. The baby was asleep in the living room. Grabbing the baby monitor, she headed to Patrick’s car. She searched under the seats, in the glove compartment, and in all the nooks and crannies of the vehicle. But she didn’t find anything significant.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Shutterstock
Nancy sank into the driver’s seat when her eyes landed on the GPS. And it was then it hit her. Patrick was terrible at directions and always used the navigator. If he had ever visited his mistress’ house, that is where she would find her address.
Nancy went straight to recent destinations on the navigator. The list wasn’t long, mostly familiar places: local restaurants, the hardware store, and Patrick’s office. But then, one address caught her eye—it appeared more frequently than others, and she didn’t recognize it.
“This is it,” she thought. She took the baby with her and drove to the address.
***
Arriving there, Nancy found herself in front of a modest house. She scooped the baby in her arms, walked to the front door, and knocked.
“Hello? Anyone home?” she asked.
After the tenth knock, when nobody answered the door, Nancy concluded the house was empty. She looked around and decided to approach the neighbors. She started with the house next door and rang the doorbell.
The door opened with a creak, and Nancy’s eyes widened when Amanda stepped out.
“You?” Nancy asked.
“How…how did you find me?” Amanda stuttered.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Shutterstock
“I was trying to find my husband’s…” Nancy paused. “His other woman. I wanted to return her baby.”
A strange sadness flashed across Amanda’s face. “The woman who lived next door… died a few days ago. She had a heart attack when she learned about your husband’s accident. Emma is no more.”
“Wait…did you say Emma?” Nancy asked, shocked.
“Yes,” Amanda nodded. “Did you know her?”
“Was…Was her last name Warren?”
When Amanda nodded, Nancy hung her head in shame. “Can-Can I come inside?” she asked. “There’s something I’d like to tell you. I feel I could use some talk.”
Amanda opened the door wider for her, and Nancy stepped inside. They settled in the living room. “Emma was my classmate,” Nancy began recounting her past. “She was also my friend. But I wronged her and…Patrick…”
20 years ago…
Nancy and Patrick were in their school’s hallway. She was standing next to her locker when Patrick approached her.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Shutterstock
“Hey, Nancy,” he said quietly, and she looked at him.
“I…I need to tell you something,” Patrick added anxiously.
“Hey,” she smiled. “Yes?”
“I…I’m in love with someone else, Nancy,” he confessed. “I know you’ve been really kind and everything, but I’m sorry.”
Nancy was shocked. “Tell me it’s a joke, Patrick,” she cried. “You can’t be serious!”
But Patrick was serious. Patrick was head over heels in love with Emma, and Emma loved him, too.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Shutterstock
Nancy was so distraught that day that she returned home in tears.
“Sweetie, what’s wrong?” Her mother immediately sensed something had happened at school.
Nancy sobbed as she told her how Patrick had broken up with her.
“I want to break them up!” she yelled. “I won’t let them be together!”
“Nancy, you won’t be able to create your own happiness by destroying someone else’s,” her mother advised her. “Revenge is never an option. Forget about him.”
But Nancy was fueled with the desire for revenge.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Shutterstock
In the next few days, Nancy tried everything she could to drive Patrick and Emma apart—she spread silly rumors, planned coincidental run-ins where she’d flaunt newfound confidence, and even stooped to sending anonymous notes, trying to stir up jealousy.
However, nothing worked. Emma seemed happy, wrapped up in her and Patrick’s world and Nancy was left on the outside, her plans crumbling uselessly around her.
But Nancy wasn’t the one to give up. One night, she had the perfect idea to drive a wedge between Emma and Patrick.
“Hello, Nancy, how are you?” Nancy visited Patrick, and the door was answered by this mother.
“I’m fine, Mrs. White. Is Patrick home?”
“Yes, dear. Let me get him.”
Patrick was confused to see her on his doorstep. “Nancy? What’s going on?”
“I know this will come as a shock to you, Patrick, but…I’m-I’m pregnant!” she announced.
For illustration purposes only | Source: Shutterstock
Patrick was shocked and terrified. “What…but…Are you sure?”
When she nodded, Patrick invited her inside. She told him she hadn’t told her parents yet because she was scared. Nancy said her father would definitely be against it and force her to terminate the pregnancy. So she begged Patrick not to tell anyone about it and noticed how easily he succumbed to her lie.
Patrick was a responsible guy. Nancy knew that. He held her hands and said, “I’m the child’s father, so I’ll take the responsibility for our baby. And yes, don’t worry; this will stay between us.”
Present-day…
“I used him. I lied to him. I wasn’t pregnant,” Nancy told Amanda. “I was hurt, and I couldn’t stand losing him to Emma. So I told him a lie that changed everything. He was ready to step up, leave Emma, and be…a father.”
“Lies ruin everything, dear,” Amanda shook her head. “And what after that? Did he never find out the truth?”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Shutterstock
“He didn’t,” Nancy revealed. “I kept up the act, the morning sickness, the whole thing. But after a couple of months, I…I couldn’t carry on with it. So, I told him there was a mistake with the test and that the doctor was wrong. And by then, Emma had…moved. She was heartbroken and had left town with her parents. Patrick and I stayed together. He never went back to her, never tried to find her. We just moved on. Or pretended to…” Nancy added, looking at the sleeping baby in her arms. Now she knew Patrick had returned to Emma.
“And I guess it’s time to correct what I couldn’t back then,” Nancy said and rose to her feet.
She was leaving Amanda’s house with the baby when the older woman stopped her.
“What are you going to do with the baby?” Amanda asked.
Nancy turned around and smiled at Amanda. “I will raise her as my own child. Maybe that’ll help me seek forgiveness from Patrick and Emma.”
For illustration purposes only | Source: Shutterstock
And Nancy followed through on her words. She raised baby Catherine with love. When Catherine turned 16, Nancy told her everything about her past. She was expecting Catherine to hate her. And she was prepared for it.
But Catherine smiled and said, “Nothing changes how I feel about you, Mom. You raised me. You were there for every scraped knee, every fever, every heartbreak. You’re my mom in every way that counts.”
Nancy cried silently and hugged her daughter. Catherine’s words had not only relieved her heart, but they’d also made her believe that Emma and Patrick had forgiven her.
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If you enjoyed reading this story, you might like this one about a gang who mocked a plus-size woman at a beach. Little did they know she would teach them an unforgettable lesson.
This piece is inspired by stories from the everyday lives of our readers and written by a professional writer. Any resemblance to actual names or locations is purely coincidental. All images are for illustration purposes only. Share your story with us; maybe it will change someone’s life.
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