According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds every night. And while many of us might believe in the saying “couples who sleep apart grow apart” there are studies that show the opposite is actually true.
We at Bright Side believe that there are no wrong or right sleep arrangements, because to some, sleeping in different beds can be as pleasing as for others sharing a bed with their partner.
A poor night’s sleep can turn lovers into fighters.
According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.
Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.
Resenting your partner because you can’t get a good night’s sleep can be destructive to the relationship.
Snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging are just a few of many reasons why some couples choose to sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you beat yourself up to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.
According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.
Each partner can tailor their sleeping conditions to their heart’s content.
Tina Cooper, a licensed social worker, sleeps in different bedrooms with her partner because of their opposite sleeping habits. “I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird. I need soothing sounds to fall asleep, and he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, and I like soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”
How you spend the nighttime in your shared bedroom with your partner can also influence your daytime functioning, marital satisfaction, and psychological and physical health. And when 2 people with different bedtime preferences and nighttime schedules end up together, changing themselves just to please their partner’s needs might harm their relationship in the long run.
Sleeping in different bedrooms with your partner means that the 2 of you will have a place just for yourselves where you can relax after an exhausting day. This way, both of you can satisfy your needs without tiptoeing around and worrying about whether your partner might wake up because you want to watch the latest episode of your show before bed.
Even if you don’t remember waking up, disturbed sleep can have a negative impact on your overall health.
During the night, our brain cycles through the stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (Rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.
Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.
People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.
- “Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
- “My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
- “Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
- “Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420
What are your sleeping arrangements with your partner? Do you believe sleeping in different beds can help a relationship thrive?
I Recognized a Beggar as My Fiancé Who Disappeared from Our Wedding 8 Years Ago — His Explanation Shocked Me
I never expected to see Jacob, my ex-fiancé, again, especially not as a beggar in Central Park. Confronting him unveiled a shocking betrayal that left me questioning everything I knew about my past and the people I trusted most.
“Come on, Nina, just one more slice of pizza before you go,” my old friend Eric insisted, flashing his signature grin.
“No way,” I laughed, “I have a flight to catch. And a Central Park stroll to make, remember?”
Eric rolled his eyes but waved me off. “Fine, but you’ll regret missing out on another slice of genuine New York pizza when you’re back in boring old St. Louis,” he jibed.
New York City pictured from above | Source: Pexels
I laughed and hugged him and headed off to Central Park, savoring the last bit of my nostalgic trip. New York always had a way of making me feel so alive, but it also reminded me of Jacob somehow, and I had a strange feeling about him right then.
The weekend had been a whirlwind. I spent hours wandering through boutiques in SoHo, splurging on designer dresses and quirky accessories. The smell of leather from luxury handbags still lingered in my mind. Lunch at a trendy café, where I indulged in an avocado toast that tasted like heaven, was a highlight.
A woman shopping for dresses and shoes | Source: Pexels
Dinner at a swanky rooftop restaurant with Eric, overlooking the city lights, had been the perfect way to end my day. New York was a feast for the senses, a place where I could lose myself in the crowds and flavors.
Eight years had passed since my wedding day disaster. I was at peace with it, or so I thought. That was until I saw him.
There he was, on a bench, looking like a ghost from the past, disheveled and begging. My heart stopped. Could it really be Jacob, my long-lost fiancé? I had to know.
A woman talking to a destitute man in a park | Source: Pexels
“Jacob?” I approached cautiously.
He looked up, eyes widening in recognition. “Nina? Oh wow, it’s really you.”
“Yeah, it’s me,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady. “What happened to you?”
He lowered his gaze, shame evident. “It’s a long story. Can we talk?”
I hesitated but then nodded, my curiosity getting the better of me. “Fine. Let’s get something to eat.”
A destitute man holding a sign | Source: Pexels
We walked to a nearby café, the awkward silence between us growing with each step. I ordered two coffees and a couple of burgers, glancing at Jacob, who seemed lost in thought.
I handed him his cup, our fingers briefly touching, sending a jolt of memories through me. We walked back into the park, found a bench under a large oak tree, and sat down, the city bubbling around us.
“Start from the beginning,” I said, taking a sip of my coffee.
A man eating food on a park bench | Source: Pexels
Jacob took a deep breath. “Two hours before our wedding, men came to my room. They said your father sent them.”
“My father?” I echoed, shocked.
“Yes,” he continued, “they took me away, beat me until I couldn’t remember anything. I ended up wandering, and now… this.”
I stared at him, disbelief mixing with pity. “Are you saying my father did this?”
“That’s what I’m saying,” Jacob replied, eyes pleading for me to believe him.
I shook my head, trying to process it all. “They beat you up and then what?”
A woman eating a sandwich on a park bench | Source: Pexels
“They beat me until I couldn’t remember anything. I woke up in a hospital, bruised and disoriented. The doctors said I had amnesia,” Jacob explained, his voice trembling. “I didn’t even know my own name. They kept me for a while, but once I was physically stable, they discharged me. I had nowhere to go. No memory, no job, no life.”
I could see the pain in his eyes as he continued. “Without a past, I couldn’t move forward. I wandered the streets, trying to piece together fragments of who I was. The confusion and fear turned into depression. I couldn’t find work, couldn’t afford a place to stay. One bad turn led to another, and I ended up here, living day by day.”
A sad-looking man facing the camera | Source: Pexels
He took a deep breath, steadying himself. “Recently, some memories started coming back, but it’s like trying to grasp smoke. I remember bits of our life together, our plans, but it’s all so fragmented.”
Hearing this, my heart ached. The man I once loved had been reduced to this by forces beyond his control. “I… I don’t know what to say, Jacob. This is all so overwhelming.”
He nodded, understanding my struggle. “I get it, Nina. It’s a lot to take in. But I’m glad I got to tell you this now, so you can understand what happened to me.”
A woman on a bench with a concerned expression | Source: Pexels
We sat in silence for a moment, the weight of his words sinking in. I looked at the man who once promised me a life together forever, now a shadow of his former self.
“I don’t know what to believe,” I finally said.
“I understand,” Jacob said quietly. “But I needed you to know.”
We finished our food in silence, each lost in our own thoughts. I got up to leave, looking at Jacob, still sitting on the bench.
“Take care, Jacob,” I said softly.
“You too, Nina,” he replied, not meeting my eyes.
A woman walking away in a park | Source: Pexels
I walked away, heart heavy with unresolved emotions. As I replayed our conversation in my mind, I suddenly realized I had left my bag on the bench next to Jacob.
Panicking, I rushed back and found it right where I had left it. My weekend in New York had taken a turn I never expected, and I wasn’t sure what to do next.
***
I spent the rest of the evening wandering the city, trying to shake off the encounter. The lights of Times Square, the crowds, and the noise all felt distant. I couldn’t get Jacob’s story out of my head.
A depiction of New York’s Times Square at night | Source: Pexels
“Hey, Nina, you alright?” Eric’s voice brought me back to reality as I found myself back at his apartment.
“Yeah, just… a lot on my mind,” I replied, forcing a smile. “I decided not to take that flight home yet.”
“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” he said, concerned.
“In a way, I did,” I admitted. “I ran into Jacob.”
Eric’s eyes widened. “Jacob? Your Jacob?”
“Yeah, he’s… a mess. He told me some crazy story about my dad having him kidnapped.”
Eric shook his head. “That sounds nuts. You believe him?”
A woman and man conversing on a sofa in an apartment | Source: Pexels
“I don’t know,” I sighed. “It’s too much to take in.”
“Look, why don’t you stay another day? Clear your head before you fly back,” Eric suggested.
“I can’t,” I said, though the offer was tempting. “I need to go home and sort this out.”
“Alright,” Eric said, giving me a hug. “But tell me if you need anything.”
The next morning, instead of heading straight to the airport, I found myself back at Central Park. The conversation with Jacob replayed in my mind. I had to understand more before leaving the city. Maybe it was curiosity, or maybe, it was a need for closure.
A woman making a call on a cell phone outdoors | Source: Pexels
I wandered through the park, hoping to find Jacob again. As I passed by the bench where we had sat, a wave of emotion hit me. I sat down, trying to piece everything together.
I couldn’t shake the feeling of unease as I sat on the bench. Jacob’s story gnawed at me. It was too wild to be true, yet too detailed to be a lie. I needed answers.
“Hello, Dad?” I called my father, hoping for some clarity.
“Nina, what’s wrong? You sound upset,” he responded.
An older man talking on a cell phone | Source: Pexels
“I ran into Jacob,” I said, hearing the sharp intake of breath on the other end.
“That man has the nerve to show his face?” Dad’s voice was cold.
“He told me you had him kidnapped on our wedding day,” I blurted out.
“That’s absurd,” he replied, but there was hesitation in his voice.
“Is it? He said you hired men to beat him up and it left him with amnesia. He’s now homeless and lost in New York City.”
An woman sitting on a park bench with a cell phone in her hands | Source: Pexels
“Ridiculous. I paid him to leave you, Nina. He took the money and ran,” my father’s tone was harsh and defensive.
“So, you did interfere,” I said, anger rising.
“Yes, but for your own good. He wasn’t right for you,” he insisted.
“I can’t believe you,” I said, tears welling up. “You ruined everything.”
“Nina, please, I did it to protect you,” he pleaded, but I had already hung up and dropped my phone into my bag.
I sat for a long time, pondering what to do. Then it occurred to me to call Eric and ask him if I could stay longer in the city with him. As I rummaged in my bag for my phone, my pulse quickened.
A woman looks into in her handbag | Source: Pexels
My purse, which I had carefully placed inside, was missing. Then it hit me: yesterday, the bag had been on the bench between Jacob and me when we talked. The realization was like a punch to the gut. Had he taken my purse then? My trust, fragile already, shattered completely.
“Damn it,” I muttered, feeling panic and anger. I rifled through my bag, hoping I had just misplaced it, but it was nowhere to be found. A cold realization came over me. Jacob must have taken it when I had walked away and left it on the bench.
How could he do this? Was everything he said a lie? I felt betrayed all over again, by both Jacob and my father.
A woman contemplatives on a park bench | Source: Pexels
“Excuse me, miss, is everything alright?” a passerby asked, concern in his eyes.
“Not really,” I sighed, “but I’ll manage.”
I stood up, ready to face whatever came next. The past had reared its ugly head, but I wouldn’t let it define my future. It was time to move forward, one step at a time.
If you enjoyed this story, here’s another one for you about a father who hid a letter addressed to his daughter from her boyfriend, only for her to find it years later.
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
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