Actor Ali MacGraw sacrificed her own career for Steve McQueen

Ali MacGraw became a Hollywood superstar overnight. But just as quickly as she rose to fame, she disappeared from show business altogether.

Today, the 84-year-old actress has settled down in a remote and tiny town, and she’s aging gracefully with her grey hair.

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Ali MacGraw

Ali MacGraw – born Elizabeth Alice MacGraw – was born on April 1, 1939, in Pound Ridge, New York, USA. Her mother, Frances, was an artist and worked at a school in Paris, later settling in Greenwich Village. She married Richard MacGraw, who was also an artist. In 1939, Ali was born.

Ali’s father Richard supposedly had issues from his own childhood which made him a little bit different from others.

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He had survived a terrible childhood in an orphanage, running away at the age of 16 to go to sea. He would later study at an art school in Munich, Germany.

“Daddy was frightened and really, really angry. He never forgave his real parents for giving him up,” Ali explained, saying said her father’s adult life was spent “suppressing the rage that covered all his hurt.”

Ali MacGraw – childhood

Money was short for their family, too. Frances and Richard, together with Ali and her brother, Richard Jr, had to move into a house on a Pound Ridge wilderness preserve which they shared with an elderly couple.

“There were no doors; we shared the kitchen and bathroom with them,” Ali said. “It was utter lack of privacy. It was horrible.”

Mom Francis worked with several commercial-art assignments and supported the family. At the same time, Richard had a hard time selling his paintings, and as a result became very frustrated. Ali’s brother Richard became a victim for his anger at home.

“On good days he was great, but on bad days he was horrendous,” she recalled. “Daddy would beat my brother up, badly. I was witness to it, and it was terrible.”

Ali was the daughter of artists, and she knew that she, too, wanted to go into a creative line of work as she got older. She earned a scholarship at the prep school Rosemary Hall, and in 1956, she moved to study at Wellesley College in Massachusetts.

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By the age of 22, Ali MacGraw moved to New York and got her first job as an assistant editor at Harper’s Bazaar, working with photographers as an assistant.

Fashion work in New York

Fashion editor Diana Vreeland hired Ali as, what she recalls as, a “flunkie”. Ever seen the film The Devil Wears Prada? Well, it was pretty much that.

“It was ‘Girl! Get me a pencil!’,” MacGraw recalled.

The future Hollywood celebrity worked her job as an assistant for several months. Then, about six months in, fashion photographer Melvin Sokolsky noticed her beautiful looks, and Ali MacGraw was hired as a stylist,and given a better salary. She’d end up staying in that position for six years.

“I don’t know where she got this work ethic, but Ali would come in at eight a.m., and many times I’d come back at one in the morning and she would still be doing things for the next day,” Ruth Ansel, a former art director of Vanity Fair and Harper’s Bazaar recalls.

Ali was great as a stylist. But soon, she was asked to work in front of the cameras as a model. It didn’t take long before she was on magazine covers all over the world, even appearing in television commercials. For thing led to another, and Ali tumbled headfirst into the profession of acting.

Ali MacGraw
Youtube/MikelNavarro

She had been sketched nude by Salvador Dali a couple of years earlier. But when the surrealist artist started sucking her toes, MacGraw decided that she’d rather be an actress than a model.

Ali MacGraw – films

Ali went straight from an unknown stylist and into the world of cinema, and boy, did she do it with a bang.

She was untutored in the art of film, which gave her acting another dimension. Her natural beauty was stunning, and the audience loved her.

Following a small role in A Lovely Way to Die (1968), she was asked to star in the 1969 film Goodbye, Columbus. It turned out to be a great call, with MacGraw receiving a Golden Globe for Most Promising Newcomer – Female. The following year, she got her big international breakthrough with a role that would pretty much sum up her career.

Ali MacGraw had received a script from her agent. She’d read it and wept twice because of how much she loved it. She decided she really wanted a part in it, and got herself a meeting with the film’s producer Robert Evans – who at the time was Paramount Picture’s head of production – at the Beverly Hills Hotel’s Polo Lounge. Not only did Evans think she was perfect for the part in the movie Love Story, he absolutely fell in love with her.

MacGraw – playing the role of Jenny – acted alongside Ryan O’Neal in the movie Love Story. The American romantic drama film, in which Ali played a working-class college student, became a smash hit.

Ali MacGraw
Youtube/MikelNavarro

Love Story hit the cinemas in 1970, and wow did the audience cherish it. It became the No. 1 film in the United States, and at the time, it was the sixth highest grossing movie in history in the US and Canada.

Award-winning actress

MacGraw earned an Academy Award nomination for her role, and the film itself earned her another win and five Academy Award Nominations. She also won herself a second Golden Globe as Best Actress in a Motion Picture – Drama.

Film producer Robert Evans not only loved her on screen, he had fallen in love with her in real life, and that love was reciprocated. In 1969, the couple tied the knot, and two years later, they welcomed their son, Josh Evans.

Ali MacGraw was the hot new star of the 1970s, but her private life and marriage with Evans would soon come to an end. Steve McQueen had visited their home to ask her to star alongside him in The Getaway, and the two Hollywood stars clicked right away.

“I looked in those blue eyes, and my knees started knocking,” MacGraw recalled. “I became obsessed.”

Ali MacGraw
Youtube/MikelNavarro

MacGraw and McQueen had an affair, and she soon left Evans to live with the actor in Malibu, along with her son Josh.

“Steve was this very original, principled guy who didn’t seem to be part of the system, and I loved that,” she said.

Ali MacGraw – Steve McQueen

But after a while, Ali realized that Steve McQueen had his own problems. Following his father abandoning his mother, a then-14-year-old Steve was sent to a school for delinquent children. MacGraw said he never trusted women after that.

American actor Steve McQueen (1930 – 1980) with Ali MacGraw, circa 1972.
(Photo by Silver Screen Collection/Getty Images)

He didn’t like that she worked and had her own career. For a while, Ali stayed home to raise their sons. But her husband’s demands were something Ali simply couldn’t accept in the long run.

Not only that, but he’d explode if she even looked at another man. He also wanted her to sign a prenuptial agreement, promising not to ask for anything if they’d divorce. She abided by the agreement when they did divorce in 1978.

“I couldn’t even go to art class because Steve expected his ‘old lady’ to be there every night with dinner on the table,” she recalled.

“Steve’s idea of hot was not me. He liked blond bimbos, and they were always around.”

Steve McQueen and Ali McGraw in a scene from the 1972 movie “The Getaway.”

This was the start of a pretty dark time in MacGraw’s life. She arrived on set to shoot the 1978 film Convoy both drunk and high, which prompted her to quit drugs.

The Outfit That Sparked a Wedding War: Did I Go Too Far…

Claire just wants to be the beautiful mother of the groom. But when she finds out that her daughter-in-law has her own ideas for the wedding, Claire decides to focus on her outfit. This leads to a fight between her and Alice on the wedding day. Alice claims that Claire ruined the wedding by taking her dream dress, while Claire thinks she did nothing wrong. Who is actually at fault?

All I wanted was to be the mother of the groom. That’s it. I just wanted to be a loving mother who adored her son more than anything. But this is the story of how my effort to make my son’s wedding perfect turned into a day we’d all rather forget.

When Mark introduced Alice to us, she was nothing like the person I expected him to fall in love with. Mark, my son, is a lawyer at a top firm, a job he got right after graduating from Stanford.

I’m going to be a lawyer, Mom,” he once told me when he was in high school and working on an essay about his future career.

“I can see that,” I said, making him breakfast as he studied.

“It’s to help fight injustices. For children, specifically,” he added, sipping his orange juice.

Mark had big dreams, and I knew he would always reach for the stars.

Alice was different from Mark. She was light and carefree, while Mark was serious and thoughtful. Alice was a self-taught coder who worked from their cozy apartment. Their personalities, views, and interests didn’t match.

But they made it work—and they were a sweet couple for the most part. But love can be blind.

When Mark proposed to Alice, we were invited to help surprise her.

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“Please, Mom,” Mark said on the phone. “Alice isn’t close to her family, so having you and Dad there will show her she’s supported.”

“Of course, honey,” I replied, imagining their wedding.

I put aside my worries and offered to pay for the wedding. James and I had saved money for Mark’s education, but he had received scholarships that covered it all.

“We can use that money for the wedding, Claire,” my husband suggested at lunch the day after the proposal.

“It’s the best thing we can do for them,” I agreed. “This way they can save to move out of that small apartment. I know Mark wants a house with a garden for a dog.”

When we told Mark and Alice, I thought it would bring us closer. I didn’t have any daughters, so I saw this as my chance.

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I could get to know Alice better—and it would be good for Mark to see that his wife and mother got along. But planning the wedding only highlighted our differences.

A few months into the planning, I met Alice at a coffee shop to discuss details. But we clashed over everything.

“I think roses are timeless,” I said, enjoying a slice of cake.

“They are, but they’re also overdone,” Alice replied, sipping her tea. “Mark and I want peonies.”

We went back and forth and couldn’t agree on anything.

“How about this?” I suggested. “You pick everything else, and just tell me the color of the bridesmaids’ dresses, so there won’t be any clashes.”

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“They won’t be wearing green,” she said. “I’m leaning toward pink.”

I paid the bill, and we parted ways without resolving much.

Then one afternoon, Alice texted me.

“Hi Claire, just picking out my wedding dress with the girls! I wish you were here!”

She attached photos of her top five dress picks.

I knew Alice and I had different ideas about the wedding, but I wanted to be included in the big decisions. I wished she had invited me dress shopping.

“At least she’s sending you the top picks,” James said as he read the newspaper beside me.

“I know, but it’s not the same,” I replied.

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“Do they look good?” he asked. “Can I see them?”

We scrolled through the dress photos together. They were fine, but nothing special.

None of them seemed to meet the standard I expected for my future daughter-in-law.

Alice’s favorite dress wasn’t what I expected.

I typed back, telling Alice it wasn’t the best choice and hoped my financial support would matter. James and I hadn’t set a budget; they had everything available to them.

“Why not consider the second one? It might be more flattering for you.”

James chuckled beside me.

“You’re overstepping,” he said.

Before I could respond, I got a message from Alice.

“Sorry, but I disagree. This is the dress I’m choosing.”

That night at dinner, as James plated our salmon, I shared my frustration.

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“Alice isn’t even considering my opinion, and I’m paying for the dress!” I said.

James tried to mediate and even texted Mark to let him know how I felt.

“I think you should let them handle the wedding planning now,” he said. “Focus on yourself and your dress.”

Mark eventually convinced Alice to wear the dress I preferred.

I had to admit, it was the easier option, and I hadn’t had time to shop for my dress before that.

So, I visited a few boutiques and found my perfect dress. It was emerald green, which I knew would highlight my eyes.

“That’s beautiful,” James said when I tried it on for him.

I felt different. I no longer felt like the sidelined mother of the groom. Instead, I felt beautiful and confident every time I thought of the dress.

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As the wedding week approached, James and I made sure to be present at all the events Mark and Alice needed us to attend, including the rehearsal dinner, where we raised our glasses to toast them.

“All sorted, Mom?” Mark asked me. “Your dress and everything?”

I smiled at my son. Even with the tension between Alice and me, he always checked in on me.

“Of course,” I replied. “I’m ready to celebrate you and Alice.”

On the morning of the wedding, I put on my green dress and did my makeup. It was everything I had wanted to look like for my son’s wedding—elegant and classy.

When I arrived at the venue, the atmosphere was thick with whispers. I ignored them, thinking everyone was just surprised to see me in something different.

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I went straight to the bride’s dressing room, hoping to see Alice and compliment her before she walked down the aisle.

When I opened the door, Alice looked up, and her joyful expression turned into one of devastation. She looked me up and down and then burst into tears.

“Why did you do this to me, Claire?” she sobbed, her voice choked with emotion.

Confused, I stepped into the room and closed the door.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Your dress!” she exclaimed.

“What about it?” I asked, second-guessing everything.

“It’s my dream wedding dress, just in another color,” she said, nearly shouting.

I was taken aback.

“Alice, honestly,” I said. “I didn’t realize—they look so different in color.”

But Alice wasn’t listening. She sat on the couch, her head in her hands.

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“How could you?” she cried. “You’ve made this day about you! Just because we didn’t take any of your suggestions!”

Mark, hearing the commotion from his dressing room, rushed in.

“Mom? What’s going on?” he asked, looking between us for an explanation.

Trying to calm the situation, I explained slowly.

“I didn’t see the resemblance, Mark,” I said. “I truly just loved the dress, and I thought—”

Alice stood up and marched toward Mark.

“No!” she shouted. “You thought you’d show me what I could’ve had, but in green. Isn’t that it?”

“Mom, please,” Mark said. “Let’s just try to get through the day. Please, for me.”

I agreed and left the dressing room, wanting to find James and sit quietly until the day was over.

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I knew Alice and I were on a thin line, but I didn’t expect her to shout at me like that.

Naturally, I was upset, but I didn’t want to ruin their day any more.

Looking back, maybe I should have been more open to Alice’s wishes. It was her day after all, not just mine to control. The question of whether I was wrong weighs heavily on me.

Yes, in trying to impose my vision, I may have lost sight of what truly mattered—Alice’s happiness and Mark’s peace on their special day.

Was I wrong for what I did?

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