Anne Hegerty, known from The Chase, shared that her biggest fear about dating is having a man invade her personal space.
The quizzer, who was diagnosed with autism at 45, opened up about her challenges, mentioning a time when she unplugged her phone to stop a boyfriend from contacting her.
At The Paul Strank Roofing Charity Gala in Kensington, London, she honestly said that she thinks she would make a terrible partner.
Anne, 66, said, “I really struggle with being close to others and having anyone else in the house.
“I think a lot of autistic people don’t get married or settle down.”
Anne explained, “I don’t even have pets because of this, and my ability to live with other people is getting smaller. I need a lot of alone time.
“I always feel like I need more space than anyone can give me. If I wanted a relationship, I could find one, but honestly, I don’t.”
She also mentioned that her longest relationship only lasted four months. Reflecting on that time, she said, “It only worked for those few months because I was in Manchester. I kind of set it up so it wouldn’t last.”
In the end, she wrote to him to end things. “I remember crying with relief and then crying with guilt,” she shared.
Anne felt overwhelmed during that relationship. “Sometimes, I unplugged the phone because he tried to call me every day. I just wanted it to be over.
“I’d sit there waiting for the phone to ring, thinking, ‘Don’t phone, don’t phone, don’t phone!’ Other times, to get over the waiting, I’d call him, but that made him think I wanted to talk. I really just wanted to end it. I didn’t want to talk to him or anyone!”
Anne joked that she hasn’t lacked offers from admirers who seem to like her “Mrs. Trunchbull” Governess outfit.
She said, “I’m sure some people are attracted to the whole look of The Governess. I think there are some who might be interested if they let me.”
Anne said, “I do meet attractive men, but I know it won’t work out. I feel like it’s not fair to them because I won’t treat them well.”
She added, “I always want more space than they can give me. If I wanted a relationship, I could find someone, but I don’t.”
She thinks it’s better not to date at all and enjoys having men as friends more than women. She recalled a quiz she attended in June, where a woman pointed out they were the only two women in the room, but Anne hadn’t even noticed because she was talking to her male friends.
Anne also shared that this is part of why she never had children, even though she is great with kids. “I did want children, but I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle it very well.”
About 20 years ago, two kids from her neighborhood used to come over. “We limited their visits to just one hour a day, but they always wanted to stay longer. They were wonderful kids, and we’re now friends on Facebook, but I couldn’t handle that for more than an hour.”
Anne takes her role as godmother to Mark “Beast” Labbett’s eight-year-old son, Lawrence, very seriously.
She said, “Lawrence’s birthday is at the end of November, so I usually send a birthday and Christmas present at the same time—but they are not the same gift. My parents had winter birthdays, and I knew they hated getting just one present for two celebrations.”
Anne joked that one of the gifts she gave Lawrence was a bit inappropriate—a toy crossbow. “So, weaponry,” she laughed. “But lately, I’ve been giving him Minecraft vouchers since he really loves that.”
She also mentioned that she has spent Christmas alone for the past 40 years. That’s why she’s especially happy to be playing the Fairy Godmother in this year’s panto, Cinderella, in Scarborough.
Anne, who was on I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here in 2018, said, “Now that I’m in panto, I can say, ‘Sorry, I’m in Scarborough!’ and that’s my only day off.”
She sees it as a great day off. Even though many people invite her to spend Christmas with them, she prefers not to. “I don’t do Christmas dinner or a tree. When I was a kid, I just remember all the pine needles everywhere!”
Earlier this year, Anne took on another acting role, making a cameo as a neighbor in a film called Exorcising Barry, which is about a man obsessed with a demon.
Anne said that any chance of going to Hollywood is out of the question.
She explained, “America wouldn’t want me because I’m fat. I have a friend who went there for work, and even though she looks amazing, they told her she needed to lose weight. I’m fine with how I am, but they don’t like fat British actresses.”
Despite this, she has had great success in Britain. Talking about The Chase’s recent National Television Award win, she said, “I’m so happy. Bradley Walsh is amazing. It’s been 14 years, and I love it.”
She added, “Other kids used to sing in front of the mirror with a hairbrush. When I was younger, I practiced being interviewed for when I became famous. I don’t know why, but it’s always been my dream.”
I Had Doubts about Dating a Single Dad, but What I Found after He Moved into My House Left Me Pale
I came home expecting a quiet evening, but what I found instead shook me to the core. In that moment, I realized my trust had been betrayed, and my peaceful life was about to be turned upside down.
When I first started dating Ryan, I knew there would be challenges. I was stepping into a relationship with a man who had three young daughters, and I was prepared for the extra noise, the mess, and the constant whirlwind that would follow us wherever we went.
Woman laughing with her husband | Source: Midjourney
I had been living alone in my cozy, peaceful home for years and had gotten used to the calm and order that came with it. But I knew that loving Ryan meant embracing the chaos his daughters would bring, and I was ready to make the necessary sacrifices.
My home was my sanctuary, but I was willing to adjust. When Ryan moved in, I sacrificed my guest room and the upstairs rec room so the girls could have their own spaces. It wasn’t always easy.
Middle aged couple standing in their house | Source: Midjourney
I would often find myself retreating to my bedroom just to get a moment of quiet. But I was committed to making our new family dynamic work, so I kept reminding myself that this was what it meant to love someone—sacrifices, compromises, and the willingness to adapt.
But just when I thought I had a handle on things, the situation took a turn I never saw coming.
Ryan’s ex-wife, Laura, had always been a bit of a wild card. She was the kind of person who thrived on drama and attention. So, when she suddenly decided to get the girls a dog, three kittens, and a bunch of rodents, I wasn’t entirely surprised.
A woman with her cats | Source: Midjourney
What did surprise me was the fact that her lease strictly prohibited pets. I couldn’t understand why she would make such a reckless decision, knowing it would cause problems. But I chalked it up to her trying to win the girls’ favor, hoping they’d see her as the “fun” parent.
I thought that would be the end of it, that she’d have to face the consequences of her actions on her own. “She’ll sort it out,” I muttered, hoping Ryan would agree. But that wasn’t the case. When her landlord found out about the pets and threatened to evict her, Ryan stepped in, determined to play the hero. “They can stay with us,” he told the girls with a reassuring smile, “We’ll make room.”
Ryan smiles at his daughter | Source: Midjourney
“Are you serious?” I asked, my voice sharp with disbelief. “We can’t possibly take in all those animals, Ryan. You know I have allergies, we both work long hours, and let’s be honest, you’re not exactly the most reliable when it comes to keeping the house in order.”
He frowned, clearly taken aback. “But they’re just kids,” he pleaded. “They’ve already fallen in love with the animals. How can we take them away now?”
“I get that,” I replied, trying to stay calm. “But maybe a few of the rodents could stay, not the entire zoo. We can’t turn this place into a circus.”
A woman arguing with her husband in their bedroom | Source: Midjourney
The girls, overhearing our conversation, looked devastated. They had already become attached to the animals, and now they were faced with the possibility of losing them.
Ryan, caught in the middle, started sulking, his usual response when things didn’t go his way. Meanwhile, his ex, ever the drama queen, played the victim. She acted as if I was the evil stepmother ruining everyone’s fun, and that’s how the girls started to see me too.
Sad man sulking in his bed | Source: Midjourney
Then, one afternoon, after a particularly exhausting day at work, I came home ready to unwind. As I pushed open the door, I froze. My living room looked like an animal shelter.
The dog was lounging on my couch, the kittens were scampering around like they owned the place, and the rodents were making themselves at home in the corners. My throat started itching almost immediately, my nose tingling with the telltale signs of an impending allergy attack.
A dog on the couch | Source: Pexels
I felt a surge of anger, betrayal burning in my chest. Ryan had brought all the animals over behind my back. As I stood there, trying to process what was happening, one of the girls, Emma, approached me, looking guilty.
She hesitated before blurting out, “Mom told us you wouldn’t mind the pets because you told her you liked animals. But when we were at dinner last week, I heard you tell Dad that you had allergies. I think Mom heard too.”
Girl whispering something to her mother | Source: Midjourney
I didn’t react right away, just nodded and reassured her that it wasn’t her fault. But that was the first crack in the story I’d been told. Why was Ryan’s ex lying to her kids?
That’s when it clicked. Ryan’s ex had done this on purpose. She’d overheard me talking about my allergies and decided to use it against me, knowing it would cause chaos in our home. I was furious, but I also realized that I wasn’t going to let her get away with it.
A woman has a moment of realization | Source: Midjourney
That evening, I confronted Ryan. “Why did you bring the animals here without telling me?” I asked, my voice trembling with barely controlled anger.
He looked at me, guilt written all over his face. “I didn’t think it would be a big deal. The girls were so upset, and I just wanted to make them happy.”
“And what about me?” I shot back. “You know I have allergies. You know how hard it is for me to keep up with the housework as it is. Why didn’t you talk to me first?”
Woman arguing with her husband | Source: Midjourney
Ryan sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I’m sorry. I just… I didn’t want to disappoint them.”
I shook my head, feeling a mixture of anger and sadness. “Ryan, this isn’t just about the animals. It’s about trust. You went behind my back, and you let your ex manipulate you. We’re supposed to be a team, and right now, it feels like I’m fighting this battle alone.”
Frustrated woman looking down | Source: Midjourney
He looked at me, his expression softening. “You’re right. I should have talked to you first. I won’t let it happen again.”
But I wasn’t satisfied with just an apology. I needed to get to the bottom of what had really happened. I decided to dig deeper.
The next day, I made a few phone calls. It wasn’t hard to find the truth once I knew where to look. I managed to get in touch with her landlord under the guise of verifying some information about his other property. When I casually mentioned the pet situation, he was puzzled.
Landlord talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
“I’ve never had a problem with pets,” he said. “In fact, I encourage it. Makes the place feel more like home, you know?”
That was all I needed to hear. Ryan’s ex had lied. She’d never been at risk of eviction. She’d used the pet issue as a way to manipulate the situation, knowing it would cause a rift between Ryan and me, and likely hoping I’d cave in to keep the peace.
Middle aged woman talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
That evening, I confronted Ryan again, this time with the full story. “I talked to her landlord,” I said, watching his face carefully. “He doesn’t have any problem with pets. She lied about being at risk of eviction.”
Ryan was floored. He stared at me, disbelief and anger flickering in his eyes. “She lied?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
I nodded. “She used the situation to stir up trouble between us. She knew it would cause problems, and she did it anyway.”
Sad middle-aged man | Source: Midjourney
Ryan clenched his fists, anger radiating off him in waves. “I can’t believe she would do that. I feel like such an idiot.”
I reached out, placing a hand on his arm. “You’re not an idiot, Ryan. But you need to see her for who she really is. We can’t let her manipulate us like this. We need to be stronger together.”
He looked at me, a mixture of regret and determination in his eyes. “You’re right. I’m sorry I didn’t see it sooner.”
Middle-aged man hugging his wife | Source: Midjourney
The next day, I texted Ryan’s ex. I calmly explained that I knew the truth and that the animals needed to go back to her place. When she tried to argue, I reminded her that her own landlord had no issue with pets. She had no choice but to take them back.
The girls were understandably upset when they found out that their mom had lied to them about the pets. It wasn’t easy for them to reconcile that their mom had used them as pawns in her own game. But in the end, it brought some much-needed clarity to the situation.
Girls holding their pets | Source: Midjourney
Ryan and I had a serious talk about trust and communication. I made it clear that if we were going to make this work, we needed to be a team, making decisions together and not letting outside forces pull us apart. He agreed, and while things weren’t perfect, we were on the same page for the first time in a long while.
If you liked this story, consider checking out this one: My husband abandoned our baby and me at the airport, choosing to take our family vacation solo. Little did he know, his “relaxing” trip was about to turn into a nightmare — and his return home would be even more dreadful.
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
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