After a night of overindulgence, Bob found himself in an entirely unexpected situation — standing at the Pearly Gates in front of St. Peter.
But instead of accepting his fate, Bob struck a deal to return to life… as a chicken. What followed was an egg-laying, feathery experience he never saw coming.
Stumbling Into Bed
Bob was known for enjoying his nights out a bit too much, and that evening was no exception. Late at night, he stumbled into bed, quietly sliding in next to his wife, who was sound asleep. Little did he know, the night was about to take an unimaginable turn.
As the first light of dawn broke, Bob didn’t wake up in his own bed. Instead, he found himself standing before the grand Pearly Gates.
“Am I dreaming?” he muttered, confused.
St. Peter, clipboard in hand, greeted him warmly.
“Bob, I’m afraid you passed away in your sleep.”
Bob’s jaw dropped in disbelief.
“This can’t be! I’m not ready to go. There’s so much I haven’t done yet!”
St. Peter, sympathetically, offered a solution.
“Well, there is one way you could return, but only as a chicken.”
Desperate to get back to life, Bob reluctantly agreed. Without a moment to reconsider, he was instantly transported to a nearby farm, now covered in feathers, clucking involuntarily.
Clucking Confusion
Adjusting to life as a hen, Bob was met by a smug rooster.
“Well, well, look who’s new in the coop! How’s it going, hen?”
Bob, still in shock, responded,
“Not bad, but I’ve got this weird pressure inside me. I feel like I’m about to burst!”
The rooster laughed.
“Ah, you’re ovulating. Haven’t you ever laid an egg before?”
Bob, wide-eyed, shook his feathery head.
“Never.”
“Well, it’s easy,” the rooster said. “Just relax and let nature take its course.”
Bob hesitated for a moment, but then, to his surprise — and discomfort — he laid an egg. A rush of strange emotions followed, and for a brief moment, he experienced the inexplicable joy of motherhood. He laid another egg, then another. Just as he was about to lay his third, a sharp smack to the back of his head jolted him awake.
“Bob! Wake up!” his wife yelled. “You’re drunk again and pooping in the bed!”
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Kate Middleton hospitalized – Kensington Palace release new information about the princess
Kensington Palace announced Wednesday that Kate Middleton, the Princess of Wales has undergone planned abdominal surgery at a private hospital in London and won’t be returning to her royal duties until after Easter.
Kate is expected to spend between ten and fourteen days at the hospital where she’s currently recovering. The Palace announced the surgery was successful.
The Princess apologized to the public for postponing her public duties.
“Her Royal Highness The Princess of Wales was admitted to The London Clinic yesterday for planned abdominal surgery. The surgery was successful and it is expected she will remain in hospital for ten to fourteen days, before returning home to continue her recovery. Based on the current medical advice, she is unlikely to return to public duties until after Easter,” the statement from Kensington Palace on its social media pages.
“The Princess of Wales appreciates the interest this statement will generate. She hopes that the public will understand her desire to maintain as much normality for her children as possible; and her wish that her personal medical information remains private.”
The statement continued: “Kensington Palace will, therefore, only provide updates on Her Royal Highness’ progress when there is significant new information to share. The Princess of Wales wishes to apologise to all those concerned for the fact she has to postpone her upcoming engagements. She looks forward to reinstating as many as possible, as soon as possible.”
Fans of the Princess, who has gained plenty of respect by her people throughout the years, expressed their well-wishes and hopes for her speedy recovery.
“Feel better soon, Catherine. Even while she’s not well, she’s worried about everything going on around her. You take care of you and I’m sure people understand the need to respect your privacy for your children. They would want the same for their own,” one of the comments read.
“Prayers for a successful recovery for the Princess of Wales and for her lovely family as they navigate this difficult time,” another person wrote.
“My thoughts and prayers are with her and her whole family,” a third added.
“14 days is a long stay, hope she’s ok,” someone else stated.
Upon being discharged from the hospital, Kate is expected to continue her recovery at the comfort of her home in Windsor where she and William moved in 2022.
At the same time, William also cut down on his engagements in order to be able to help around the children while his wife recovers from what was said to be a “non-cancerous” surgery.
Of course, William will receive help from the children’s long-time nanny, Maria Teresa Turrion Borrallo.
Borrallo has been with the family since Prince George was just 8 months old.
“She is not married and doesn’t have a boyfriend, as her life is totally dedicated to the family she is working with. She is known for being totally professional – married to the job,” an insider told Hello Magazine.
When the couple are away from home, the nanny makes all the decisions regarding the children.
Borallo was trained at the prestigious Norland College in Bath. “Maria is firm, but she never acts unilaterally with the children on discipline. Kate and William, along with Maria, are strict with the children but have this magic ability to appear not to be,” a royal insider said.
Kate has shared her feeling about hospitals and hospital stays in the past and said those are not “places she wanted to hang around in.”
Recalling the times she experienced extreme morning sickness following the birth of Princess George, Kate said, “I think, yeah I did stay in hospital overnight, I remember it was one of the hottest days and night with huge thunderstorms so I didn’t get a huge amount of sleep, but George did which was really great.”
She then added, “I was keen to get home because, for me, being in hospital, I had all the memories of being in hospital because of being sick so it wasn’t a place I wanted to hang around in. So, I was really desperate to get home and get back to normality.”
We wish Kate a fast recovery.
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