Claire just wants to be the glamorous mother-of-the-groom—but when she realizes that her daughter-in-law has her own plans for the wedding, she steps back to focus on her own outfit, only for there to be a fight between her and Alice on the big day. Alice claims that Claire has destroyed the wedding by stealing her dream dress, while Claire sees nothing wrong in her actions. Who is wrong?
All I wanted was to be the mother-of-the-groom. That’s it. I just wanted to be the doting mother who loved her son more than anything—but this is the story of how my attempt to make my son’s wedding perfect turned into a day we’d all rather forget.
When Mark introduced Alice to us, she was unlike anyone I expected him to fall for. Mark, my son, is a lawyer at a top firm—a position that he secured straight after his graduation from Stanford.
“I’m going to be a lawyer, Mom,” he told me once when he was still in high school and doing an essay on the career he wanted to get into.
“I could easily see that,” I told him, making him breakfast as he worked away.
“It’s to help fight injustices. For children, specifically,” he said, drinking his orange juice.
Mark had big dreams, and I knew that my son was always going to reach for the stars.
Alice, on the other hand, was completely different from my son. Her entire personality was light and carefree, whereas Mark was serious and brooding. Alice was a self-taught coder, who freelanced from their cozy apartment. Their worlds, their politics, their interests didn’t align.
But they made it work—and they were a sweet couple for the most part. But love, as they say, is blind.
When Mark proposed to Alice, we were all invited to the scene to help surprise her.
“Please, Mom,” Mark said on the phone. “Alice isn’t close to her family, so to see you and Dad there will be good for her. She’ll know that she’s welcomed and supported.”
“Of course, honey,” I told him, already envisioning their wedding in my head.
I swallowed my reservations and offered to pay for the wedding. James and I had put money away for Mark’s studies, but he had always gotten bursaries which paid for it all.
“We can just use that money for the wedding, Claire,” my husband said over lunch the day after the proposal.
“It’s the best thing we could do for them,” I agreed. “This way they can save up to move out of that small apartment. I know Mark’s been talking about a house with a garden because he really wants a dog.”
When we told Mark and Alice, I thought that the gesture would bring us closer. I didn’t have any daughters, so I thought that this would be my chance.
I could get to know Alice better—and that would be good for Mark, to know that his wife and his mother got along well. Instead, the wedding planning only highlighted our differences.
After a few months into the wedding planning, I met Alice at a coffee shop so that we could go over the details. But we clashed on everything.
“I think roses are timeless,” I said, helping myself to a slice of cake.
“They are, but they’re also overdone in a sense,” Alice said, sipping her tea. “Mark and I want peonies.”
Our meeting went back and forth a few times—and we were stuck in a space where we just couldn’t agree on anything.
“Okay, how about this?” I asked her. “You go ahead with everything else, and just tell me what color your bridesmaids are wearing, so that there won’t be any clashes.”
“They won’t be wearing green,” she said. “I’m leaning toward pink.”
I paid the bill and we parted ways with the wedding planning.
But then, one afternoon Alice texted me.
Hi Claire, just picking out my wedding dress with the girls! I’m so excited! I wish you were here!
Attached were photos of her five top wedding dress picks.
I knew that Alice and I were on different ends of what we thought that the wedding should look like, but I wanted to be included in the big things. I wished that she had included me in the wedding dress shopping.
“At least she’s sending you the top picks,” James said as he read the newspaper next to me.
“I know, but it’s not the same,” I said.
“Do they look good?” he asked. “Can I see them?”
Together, we scrolled through the photos of the potential dresses. They were adequate choices, but nothing stood out.
Nothing that would fit the standard of my future daughter-in-law.
The dress that was Alice’s favorite and the first contender for the actual wedding dress wasn’t what I expected.
I typed back, telling Alice that it wasn’t quite the best choice. And I hoped that my financial stake in the wedding would weigh in. James and I hadn’t given the kids a budget. They had everything at their disposal.
Why not consider the second one? It might be more flattering for you.
James chuckled beside me.
“You’re at the point of over-stepping,” he said.
Before I could say anything, my phone pinged with a message from Alice.
Sorry, but I disagree. This is the dress I’m choosing.
That night over dinner, as James was plating our salmon, I shared my frustration with him.
“Alice is not even considering my opinion, and I’m paying for the dress!” I exclaimed.
James tried to mediate; he also texted Mark to make sure that he knew how I felt, too.
“I think you should just leave the wedding planning to them now,” James said. “Put all your attention into yourself and what you’re going to wear.”
But it also turned out that Mark was able to persuade Alice to wear the dress I preferred.
I had to admit, it was the less stressful option, and I hadn’t been able to shop for my dress before that.
So, that’s what I did.
I went to a few different boutiques and eventually found my perfect dress. It was emerald green, which I knew brought out my eyes.
“That’s beautiful,” James said when I tried the dress on for him.
I had felt different. I no longer felt like the mother-of-the-groom who had been pushed aside. Instead, I felt beautiful in my own skin, my self-esteem growing every time I thought of the dress.
When the wedding week loomed upon us, James and I tried to make ourselves as present as possible. We went to all the events that Mark and Alice needed us to be at—including the rehearsal dinner where we saluted them and drank champagne to toast the festivities.
“All sorted, Mom?” Mark asked me. “Your dress and everything?”
I smiled at my son. Despite being in the middle of Alice and me, he was always checking in on me.
“Of course,” I said. “I’m ready to celebrate you and Alice.”
On the morning of the wedding, I put on my green dress and did my make up. It was everything I had wanted to look for my son’s wedding—elegant and sophisticated.
As I arrived at the venue, the air was thick with murmurs. I ignored them, thinking that everyone was just so used to me being dressed in comfortable clothing, that this was something different for them.
I went straight to the bride’s dressing room, hoping to see Alice and compliment her before she walked down the aisle.
Upon opening the door, Alice looked up—her joyful expression collapsing into one of utter devastation. She looked me up and down before bursting into tears.
“Why did you do this to me, Claire?” she sobbed, her voice choked with emotion.
Confused, I stepped into the room and closed the door.
“What’s wrong?” I asked her.
“Your dress!” she exclaimed.
“What about it?” I asked, second-guessing everything.
“It’s my dream wedding dress, just in another color,” she said, nearly shouting.
I was taken aback.
“Alice, honestly,” I said. “I didn’t realize—they look so different in color.”
But Alice wasn’t having any of it. She sat on the edge of the couch, her head in her hands.
“How could you?” she looked up and cried out. “You’ve made this day about you! Just because we didn’t take any of your suggestions!”
Mark, having heard the commotion from his dressing room next door, came rushing in.
“Mom? What’s going on here?” he asked me.
He looked from Alice to me, seeking an explanation.
Trying to calm the waters, I explained everything slowly.
“I didn’t see the resemblance, Mark,” I said. “I truly just loved the dress, and I thought—”
Alice stood up and marched toward Mark.
“No!” she exclaimed. “You thought that you’d show me what I could’ve had, but in green. Isn’t that it?”
“Mom, please,” my son said. “Let’s just try to get through the day. Please, for me.”
I agreed and left the dressing room. I just wanted to find James and sit quietly until the day was over.
I knew that Alice and I were walking a thin line, but I didn’t expect her to shout at me in the manner that she did.
Naturally, I was upset, but I didn’t want to ruin their day any further.
Reflecting now, perhaps I should have been more open to Alice’s preferences. It was her day after all, not just mine to orchestrate. The question of whether I was wrong hangs heavily over me.
Yes, in trying to enforce my vision, I might have lost sight of what was truly important—Alice’s happiness and Mark’s peace on their special day.
Was I wrong for what I did?
Psychologists Explain Things We All See in Dreams, and It’s Better Not to Ignore Them
Humankind has been trying to solve the mystery of dreams for as long as they’ve existed. Today there is even a special discipline in the study of dreams called oneirology. Those who prefer the esoteric side of things over science love to interpret their dreams according to various dream books and believe that they can predict the future. But psychologists think that dreams accurately reflect our current condition and that our subconscious tries to tell us something important via dreams from time to time.
We at Bright Side have learned that there are dreams that are common for all of us. Each of us sees these types of dreams every now and then. These dreams are caused by our ancient instincts, a cultural code, the experience of our ancestors, and personal experience. A psychologist and an expert in the field of dreams, Patricia Garfield, calls them “universal dreams” and says, “Like a hearty stew that is rich with local produce, the universal dreams differ among different peoples, but they are all nourishing variants of the same wholesome meal. They are as old as humanity and as widespread as our globe.”
1. Falling
In adulthood, we see falling more often than flying. According to the psychologist Ian Wallace, a dream about falling symbolizes the fear of losing control. You can’t control something in your life anymore because some drastic changes that you were not ready for took place in your life. Think about what sphere of life (work, relationships, finances, health, etc.) you feel most suppressed or vulnerable in as well as the ways to correct it.
Some scientists explain dreams about falling with simple physiology. As the body is sinking into sleep, the nerve system starts to calm down, your blood pressure and heart rate decrease and your falling asleep brain (especially if it was overwhelmed during the day) can perceive this physiological change as danger or an approaching death and therefore, makes you wake up suddenly.
The opposite version of this dream is flying which signifies freeing oneself from some hard burden and getting the desirable freedom.
2. Teeth that fall out and injuries
Our subconscious interprets teeth as an indicator of strength, and an ability to “bite off” a piece of the world. “Perhaps, you have recently been feeling unarmed and helpless in the real world,” Penney Peirce explains.
Patricia Garfield, another expert who’s studied dreams for many years, connects dreams about teeth falling out with hidden anger. As a rule, when we suppress anger, we clench our jaw, and our teeth might start to creak and grind. This dream might be signaling that it’s high time to get rid of negative feelings.
We often have dreams where someone close to us is wounded or sick. Those dreams cause consternation; however, from psychology’s point of view, things are not that bad. It’s simply our fears of the future and inevitable changes with those close to us. If you see your own death, it means that some part of you is dying and staying in the past to give space to something new.
“Opposite” dreams about birth and recovery usually appear when something new is taking place in a person’s life (like a new job or project) and symbolize a new experience.
3. Failure at an exam or public performance
You’re about to take an exam and suddenly realize that you don’t remember anything or you can’t say a word when standing in front of a big crowd. These dreams might be experienced not only by students and school kids but also by people who have graduated a long time ago. It’s likely that you had some stress shortly before going to sleep or was extremely worried about something. In this case, it’s better to take a short break and relax.
4. Being chased or persecuted
Such dreams have several different meanings. An expert in the field of dreams named Lauri Loewenberg says, “People that tend to avoid conflict, who are afraid of ruffling feathers or causing issues will have the recurring dream of being chased.”
Pay attention to the thing chasing you — they symbolize an unpleasant feeling or situation that you try not to think about in real life. It can be debt or addiction. Are you chased by a person you know? Think about what or who you associate this person with. They might indicate some other person or even a part of your personality that you don’t want to admit (like a hidden talent or aspiration) in your dream.
There’s also a theory saying that dreams about running away from someone are simply the echoes of primitive instincts that are in our genes thanks to our ancestors. All because they were constantly running from predators.
5. Inappropriate clothes or an absence of any
In your dream, you turn up in a public place wearing inappropriate clothes or not wearing anything at all. In this situation, it’s important to pay attention to the feelings you encountered in your dream. These dreams are usually followed by a feeling of shame and embarrassment.
Psychologist Ian Wallace notes, “It means that you feel vulnerable at your new job or in your new relationship and are afraid that others will learn about your weaknesses and disadvantages.” However, if you don’t feel any shame in your dream but instead feel proud of yourself, the dream has the opposite meaning. Perhaps you feel a lack of recognition and admiration and would like others to see your talents as well as your personality more.
6. A catastrophe or an apocalypse
We’ve all dreamed about natural or man-made disasters where we’re scared for our own lives and the lives of those close to us. These dreams might indicate personal problems that have gotten out of control or are a result of feeling threatened by something. Of course, constant messages in the media about catastrophes and terrorist acts worsen the situation. As a result, we start feeling vulnerable in the modern world.
Sometimes, when having a nightmare, we try to shout out loud but feel that our voice has left us, which causes an even bigger fear. Psychologists explain it as sleep paralysis. During the last phase of sleep, when we have dreams, our brain purposefully paralyzes the body so that we can lie still and not “live” in our sleep by running, jumping, etc. People who have sleep paralysis usually wake up before the end of the last phase and enter a state between sleep and reality for a short period. This can be felt as an inability to move, speak, and, in some cases, breathe.
7. Faulty equipment or vehicles
You try to use some gadget or device, and it breaks right away. For example, your phone stops working, and you can’t call anyone. According to Patricia Garfield, these dreams are more often experienced by women and symbolize worries about relationships or losing an emotional connection with someone.
Dreams in which you’re trying to operate a vehicle that doesn’t work properly or breaks down are in the same category. You are likely missing support and can’t cope with a difficult life situation by yourself.
8. Pregnancy
As strange as it might sound, it’s not only women who can have dreams about pregnancy. A psychologist name David Bedrick says, “Pregnancy symbolizes something new growing inside us.” You subconsciously dream about “giving birth” to a new fascinating creative project. It can be anything from writing a book to repairing a house. It’s time to set a goal and show the world how you can take on this new role.
If you’re not pregnant in real life, you may be seeking fulfillment after having such a dream.
9. Being late
Dreams that have you running after a departing train or running late for an important meeting can occur quite often. According to a dream expert, Michael R. Olsen, they can symbolize the fear of missing out on something very important in your relationships or in the upbringing of your child, for example. If you’re constantly overwhelmed and don’t have much time to accomplish things in real life, your subconscious is signaling that it’s time for you to reconsider your schedule and free up time for really important things.
10. An unknown room
Dreams about new rooms are about self-knowledge. If you find yourself in an unknown house in your dream, it means that you don’t know yourself well and try to neglect some sides of your character. A separate unfamiliar room symbolizes that you have a hidden talent, skill, or opportunity that you don’t use.
A psychotherapist named Eddie Traversa thinks that we subconsciously associate some rooms with certain processes. A kitchen is a place where products get transformed into a finished dish which means that you’re currently going through some inner changes. A bathroom is a symbol of freeing oneself from unnecessary baggage. It might symbolize that it’s time to get rid of something that is not needed any longer. A bathroom is a symbol of cleansing and it means that you feel the necessity to clarify things or see them in a different light. A bedroom signifies the things that worry you in your romantic relationship.
Have you ever experienced any of these dreams or do you usually see something different? Please tell us about it in the comments!
Leave a Reply