Narcissism is a phenomenon in which a person with low self-esteem is afraid of losing authority in the eyes of others, and they begin to manipulate their friends, colleagues, and family to appear better than they really are. These people are so determined. We decided to imagine what it’s like to have your beloved mother like this.
They have a distorted perception of love and achievement, making it nearly impossible for them to make you feel good enough.
Their self-worth hinges on external validation and a facade of perfection. This creates a moving target for your worth in their eyes. You can achieve great things, but their praise might be laced with criticism, or they might simply shift the goalposts to a new, unattainable standard. This leaves you perpetually striving for an unachievable level of approval.
Additionally, their happiness is often transactional. They dole out affection when it suits them, leaving you confused about what truly earns their love. This inconsistency fosters insecurity and self-doubt, making you question your own value no matter what you accomplish. Ultimately, a narcissistic mother’s inability to offer genuine, unconditional love creates a core belief that you’ll never be good enough, regardless of your efforts.
Narcissistic mothers won’t let their kids’ successes overshadow their own.
Narcissistic mothers crave attention and view their children’s achievements through a distorted lens. While they might brag about their child’s successes superficially, they can’t handle being outshined. This stems from a deep insecurity and a fragile sense of self. Their child’s triumphs become a threat, rather than a source of pride. They may downplay the accomplishment, subtly criticize, or even try to one-up their child with their own past glories, all to maintain a sense of superiority.
She’s only worried about her own problems.
A narcissistic mother’s world often revolves around herself, leaving little room for her child’s emotions or experiences. Their own needs for validation and admiration take priority. They struggle to empathize with their child’s struggles, viewing them as inconveniences or attention-grabbing tactics. This is because the narcissist lacks the emotional maturity to see their child as a separate being with valid feelings. Their child’s problems become burdens to be managed, rather than opportunities for connection and support.
These mothers humiliate their children.
There are a couple of reasons why narcissistic mothers might resort to humiliating their children. One is to maintain control. By publicly criticizing, mocking, or exaggerating their child’s flaws, the mother keeps them feeling insecure and dependent. This fragile self-esteem makes the child less likely to challenge the mother’s authority or seek independence.
Another reason is to bolster the narcissist’s own fragile ego. Putting their child down creates a clear hierarchy where the mother is always superior. This can be especially pronounced if the child shows any potential to outshine the mother, triggering a need to cut them down to size. Ultimately, the humiliation serves the narcissist’s own needs for power and self-importance, leaving the child feeling emotionally bruised and diminished.
She makes kids feel guilty for getting something.
Narcissistic mothers often induce guilt in their children for receiving gifts or achieving success because it reinforces their own sense of control. They might make comments like, «You don’t deserve this, there are others who need it more,» implying the child is selfish for wanting something good. This guilt trip serves a few purposes.
Firstly, it keeps the child feeling indebted and obligated to please the mother. Secondly, it deflects attention away from the mother’s inability to be genuinely happy for her child’s good fortune. Ultimately, by making their child feel guilty, the narcissistic mother manipulates the situation to maintain the focus on themselves and their emotional needs.
She thinks she always deserves the best.
A narcissistic mother’s belief in her own deservingness stems from a distorted sense of self-importance. Deep down, she craves admiration and validation, and views herself as superior to others. This inflated ego convinces her that she deserves the best in life, regardless of her actions or contributions. It’s a constant need to be seen as special and entitled.
This sense of entitlement can manifest in various ways, from expecting lavish gifts and unwavering support to feeling justified in cutting in line or bending the rules. For a narcissistic mother, the «best» isn’t just about material possessions, but also about the constant flow of attention, praise, and control that reinforces her grandiosity.
Her love is unstable. When she needs something, she’s kind. When she doesn’t, she’s rude.
Narcissistic mothers often exhibit a transactional kind of love, where affection is dangled like a carrot. When their needs are unmet, their self-absorption takes center stage. They might become critical, dismissive, or even cold towards their child. Conversely, when they require something — maybe errands run, emotional support, or a public image boost — the kindness faucet turns on.
This emotional inconsistency leaves the child confused and insecure. They never quite know what version of their mother they’ll encounter, creating a constant state of walking on eggshells to avoid the unpredictable shift from loving to cold.
She cares too much about how other people see her.
A narcissistic mother craves external validation and uses how others perceive her as a mirror for her fragile self-esteem. Her self-worth hinges on admiration and a cultivated image of perfection. This makes her hyper-aware of how others view her, particularly in her role as a mother. She might brag excessively about her child’s accomplishments, not necessarily out of pride, but to reflect well on her own parenting skills.
Conversely, any perceived shortcomings in her child become a threat to her image. She might downplay their achievements or even criticize them publicly to maintain a facade of control and superiority in the eyes of others. Ultimately, the well-being and genuine connection with her child become secondary to managing the public perception of a perfect mother and family.
She complains about people that do something against her will.
Narcissistic mothers view any challenge to their control as a personal attack. Their rigid sense of self-importance dictates that things should go their way. When someone, especially their child, dares to act independently or disagree, it triggers a deep sense of entitlement being violated. They may lash out by complaining excessively, playing the victim, or attempting to manipulate the situation back to their desired outcome.
These complaints serve a dual purpose: firstly, to punish the person for disobeying, and secondly, to garner sympathy or support from others, further reinforcing their position of authority. Ultimately, a narcissistic mother’s complaints about those who defy her are less about the specific action and more about maintaining a power dynamic where she remains in control.
Narcissistic mothers are jealous of their daughters’ beauty. And they pretend to be caring.
A narcissistic mother’s insecurity can turn a daughter’s blossoming beauty into a source of hidden jealousy. They may outwardly offer compliments laced with backhanded remarks, like «You look pretty, but maybe try a different shade of lipstick.» This thinly veiled criticism undermines the daughter’s confidence while maintaining a facade of caring.
Deeper down, the mother might feel threatened by her daughter’s youthful beauty, a stark reminder of her own fading youth and potential loss of attention. This jealousy can manifest in various ways, from sabotaging the daughter’s attempts to dress up for an event to subtly comparing her looks to others. The narcissistic mother’s mask of concern hides a desire to control the narrative, ensuring her daughter’s beauty doesn’t overshadow her own.
She criticizes a lot but almost never gives praise.
Narcissistic mothers often fall into a harsh critic pattern for a few reasons. Firstly, their self-worth is fueled by a need for control and a sense of superiority. Constant criticism keeps their child feeling insecure and dependent, less likely to challenge their authority. Secondly, genuine praise can feel threatening to a narcissist. If their child is successful or confident, it might overshadow the mother’s own perceived importance.
Instead of celebrating their child’s achievements, they might downplay them or even resort to nitpicking flaws. Ultimately, the lack of praise becomes a tool for manipulation. By withholding validation, the narcissistic mother keeps her child striving for approval, a dynamic that reinforces her own sense of power and control.
They’re angry if someone else is in the spotlight.
A narcissistic mother thrives on being the center of attention. Their fragile self-esteem craves constant validation and admiration. When someone else, especially their child, receives praise or recognition, it’s perceived as a direct threat. This triggers a surge of anger because it disrupts their carefully curated image of superiority. They might downplay the other person’s accomplishment, subtly criticize them, or even try to steal the spotlight back to themselves with tales of their own past glories.
This anger isn’t about protecting their child, but about protecting their own inflated sense of self-importance. They can’t bear to share the spotlight, and their reaction reflects a deep-seated insecurity that can leave their child feeling confused and emotionally neglected.
Narcissistic mothers might constantly remind you of the things they’ve done for you.
One is to create a sense of obligation and guilt. By replaying a litany of sacrifices and favors, they make you feel indebted, making it harder to disagree with them or assert your independence. It’s a way to control you through emotional manipulation. Another reason is to inflate their own sense of importance.
Recounting their «good deeds» reinforces their narrative as the selfless caregiver deserving of constant praise and gratitude. Ultimately, these constant reminders are about them, not you. It’s a tactic to maintain power within the relationship and ensure you remain focused on their needs rather than developing your own sense of self.
These narcissistic traits can take a toll. But there’s good news! Our next piece dives into how these experiences shape you, and what you heal from it.
Simple Man Learns Everyone at Career Day Thinks He’s Rich & Decides to Play Along – Story of the Day
For Will, Career Day was a chance to spend more time with his son Kevin and strengthen their bond. However, when he arrived at the school, he realized his son was ashamed of him. Will’s honest work as a garbage truck driver wasn’t enough for Kevin, so he decided to play along with his son’s lie.
Late in the evening, the sound of the front door creaking open echoed through the quiet house. Will stepped inside, his shoulders slumped and his boots dragging slightly on the floor. His face was smudged with dirt, and the faint scent of oil and metal lingered on his clothes.
Leslie, sitting on the couch with a folded laundry basket beside her, looked up as he entered. She set the basket aside and walked over, her expression calm but tired.
For illustration purposes only. | Source: Midjourney
“You’re late again…” she said softly, brushing a loose strand of hair from her face.
Will sighed and dropped his work bag near the door.
“I know… sorry. One of the garbage trucks broke down, so I had to cover their route. Couldn’t leave it undone, and—well, you know—we could use the extra money.”
Leslie nodded, folding her arms.
“I understand. But I’m worried about Kevin…”
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Will straightened slightly. “What’s wrong? Did something happen at school?”
“No, school’s fine,” she replied, shaking her head. “But he barely sees you anymore. You’re working so much, and I’m not sure he understands why.”
Will’s expression softened. “I’ll talk to him. Don’t worry, Les. Everything I do, I do for his future.”
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Leslie smiled gently, placing a hand on his arm. “I know, dear. I know.”
Will knocked gently on Kevin’s door, letting his knuckles barely tap against the wood.
The house was quiet, except for the faint hum of the heater. He pushed the door open slowly, peeking in with a playful grin despite the heavy bags under his eyes.
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“Hey, kiddo! How are you?” he asked, his voice soft but warm.
Kevin sat cross-legged on his bed, a book in his hands, though it didn’t look like he was reading it.
“Hi, Dad. I’m fine,” he said without looking up.
“Not asleep yet? Got a few minutes to chat?” Will stepped inside, his voice teasing but gentle.
“Sure…” Kevin set the book down reluctantly and glanced at his father.
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Will sat down on the edge of the bed, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees.
“How’s school? Everything going okay? No fights with your classmates or anything?”
Kevin shrugged. “Yeah, it’s fine.”
Will raised an eyebrow. “That’s it? Fine? Come on, you can give me more than that.”
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Kevin smirked a little but stayed quiet.
“Oh!” Will said, sitting up straighter. “I almost forgot—tomorrow’s Career Day at your school! I’ll take the day off to come. Don’t worry, I won’t miss it.”
Kevin’s face fell slightly, and he looked away.
“You don’t have to, Dad…” he said softly.
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Will tilted his head, watching his son carefully.
“I want to,” he said firmly. “Don’t worry about it. For you, I’ll always make time. Now get some rest, buddy. Tomorrow’s a big day.”
Kevin hesitated, then mumbled, “Goodnight.” He turned onto his side, facing the wall.
Will reached out, lightly ruffling Kevin’s hair before standing.
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He paused at the door, glancing back at his son with a faint smile, then quietly closed the door behind him.
The next morning, sunlight streamed through the windshield as Will drove Kevin to school. Will had traded his usual work uniform for a navy suit and tie, a combination that felt unfamiliar and stiff.
Kevin sat silently in the passenger seat, his face turned toward the window. His fingers fidgeted with the strap of his backpack, and his usual chatter was replaced by a heavy quietness.
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Will glanced at him, the silence too loud to ignore. “What’s wrong, kiddo?” he asked, keeping his tone light.
Kevin shrugged but didn’t turn away from the window.
“I don’t feel well. I don’t want to go to school today,” he muttered.
Will frowned, his eyes darting between the road and his son.
“Come on, you’re fine. Are you nervous about something?”
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“No…” Kevin replied softly, his voice trailing off.
Will didn’t push.
“Don’t worry. It’ll be okay,” he said, though he couldn’t help but wonder if Kevin was hiding something.
When they arrived at the school, Kevin hesitated before opening the door.
Will waited, his hand resting on the gear shift, watching his son wrestle with some unspoken emotion.
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Finally, Kevin sighed, pushed open the door, and got out. Will followed, his concern lingering like a shadow.
Inside the classroom, rows of parents sat in folding chairs at the back while the children clustered together at their desks.
Will found a seat, adjusting his tie as he scanned the room. The atmosphere buzzed with chatter and excitement.
A tall man in an expensive suit approached Will, offering a polished smile. “You must be Kevin’s dad, right?”
Will nodded. “Yes. How’d you know?”
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“Our boys are friends. Your son talks a lot about you and your work,” the man said, crossing his arms.
“Really?” Will said, eyebrows rising. “I didn’t think he was that interested in what I do.”
The man chuckled. “Well, he’s proud of you. Told everyone you own a waste recycling business.”
Will froze. “A recycling business?” he repeated, the words sticking in his throat.
“Yeah! Or did I get that wrong?” The man tilted his head. “Kids exaggerate sometimes. You know how it is.”
Will’s stomach tightened. He wasn’t a business owner—he drove a garbage truck. Admitting that now would mean exposing Kevin’s lie.
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The image of his son’s anxious face flashed through his mind, and the thought of Kevin being humiliated in front of his peers was too much to bear.
“Yeah,” Will said finally, forcing a smile. “I’m not used to people knowing about it. I usually keep work stuff private.”
The man nodded, seemingly satisfied, and walked away.
Will’s chest felt heavy, but he tried to shake it off as the teacher stepped to the front of the room.
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“Next, let’s hear from Kevin’s dad,” she announced, motioning for him to come forward.
Will stood, smoothing his suit nervously as he walked to the front. He glanced at Kevin, who sat stiffly, staring at his desk.
“Hello, everyone. I’m Will, Kevin’s dad. As some of you already know, I own a waste recycling business,” he said, his voice steady despite the knot in his stomach.
Kevin’s head shot up, his eyes wide with relief. A small smile crept across his face as he looked at his father.
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The children leaned forward, listening intently, and the parents nodded approvingly—all except the man in the expensive suit, whose expression soured.
Will smiled through it, feeling a mixture of pride and sadness. For now, he had protected Kevin, and that was what mattered most.
After the presentations, the classroom was abuzz with chatter. Kevin stood near his desk, surrounded by a group of classmates. They grinned and chattered excitedly.
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“Your dad’s job is so cool!” one kid said.
“Yeah, owning a recycling business? That’s awesome,” another added.
Kevin smiled faintly, but his eyes kept darting toward the back of the room.
Will sat alone on a bench, his hands resting on his knees, staring at the floor. Something about his posture—a mix of exhaustion and quiet sadness—made Kevin’s chest feel tight.
Excusing himself from the group, Kevin walked over to his dad. He hesitated for a moment before speaking.
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“Dad… about your job…” Kevin’s voice was soft, almost unsure.
Will looked up, his tired eyes meeting his son’s.
“It’s okay, son,” he said gently. “I hope everything went better than you expected. I didn’t want to embarrass you in front of your friends. I’m sorry my job isn’t… prestigious. I really try my best.”
Kevin shook his head quickly. “Dad… your job is awesome. You’re awesome.”
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Will raised an eyebrow, his lips curving into a faint, skeptical smile. “Then why did you tell everyone I’m a business owner?”
Kevin looked down, fidgeting with the strap of his backpack.
“It was Rob,” he admitted quietly.
“He’s always bragging about his dad selling cars and how much money he makes. I… I lied. I said you owned a recycling business. Then everyone started talking about it, and I didn’t know how to take it back. I didn’t want to look stupid.”
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Will nodded slowly, his expression thoughtful.
“It’s okay, son. I understand,” he said after a moment. “And who knows? Maybe I’ll make that lie true someday. Maybe I can start my own business.”
Kevin stared at his dad, his guilt giving way to a sudden determination. Without another word, he turned and strode back toward the front of the classroom.
“Listen, everyone!” Kevin’s voice rang out, loud and clear. The chatter stopped, and all eyes turned to him. Will’s heart skipped a beat as he watched his son.
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“My dad drives a garbage truck!” Kevin announced, his voice steady.
The room went silent. Kids stared at Kevin, some whispering to each other, others wide-eyed. Even the parents stopped their conversations.
Kevin straightened his back and continued, his voice unwavering.
“He’s not a business owner, and he’s not the richest, but I don’t care! I love my dad. He loves me and my mom, and I’m proud of him!”
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For a moment, the room stayed quiet, and Kevin held his breath.
Then, one of the parents applauded. Slowly, others joined in.
Soon, most of the parents were smiling and applauding as well—except Rob’s father, who sat stiffly, his face sour.
Kevin turned back to his dad, beaming.
“I love you, Dad. And I don’t care what anyone else thinks.”
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Will’s throat tightened as tears pricked at his eyes. He stood, pulling Kevin into a hug.
“Thank you, son. I love you too,” he said, his voice thick with emotion.
In that moment, Will didn’t care about titles or appearances.
His son’s love and pride were more than enough.
Tell us what you think about this story, and share it with your friends. It might inspire them and brighten their day.
If you enjoyed this story, read this one: Margaret loved her husband and did everything he asked of her, which was a lot. But for years, she hadn’t been on the receiving end of that love. She had resigned herself to the idea that her life would always be this way—until she opened a strange box beneath the Christmas tree. Read the full story here.
This piece is inspired by stories from the everyday lives of our readers and written by a professional writer. Any resemblance to actual names or locations is purely coincidental. All images are for illustration purposes only. Share your story with us; maybe it will change someone’s life.
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