Ever find yourself needing a quick pick-me-up during a long day? Laughter is the perfect antidote to stress and boredom. This collection of 11 jokes is sure to deliver a healthy dose of humor.
Get ready to chuckle your way through these hilarious jokes about everything from bar buddies to blundering farmers. Whether you’re a fan of witty wordplay or quirky animal antics, there’s something here to tickle everyone’s funny bone.
A duck in a construction worker’s uniform waddling into a bar | Source: Midjourney
1. Drink Down
A guy walks into a bar and orders two shots. He drinks both and leaves. He does the same thing every day for a while.
One day, the bartender asks, “Why do you always order two shots?”
The guy says, “My brother and I used to drink together all the time, but now he lives far away. So, one shot is for me, and one is for him.”
Two brothers laughing while sitting at a bar | Source: Midjourney
This goes on for a while, and then one day the guy only orders one shot.
The bartender worries and asks, “What happened? Is your brother okay?”
The guy replies, “Yeah, he’s fine. I just quit drinking.”
Man looking sad while sitting at a bar | Source: Midjourney
2. Penguin Parade
A police officer stopped a semi-truck driver and asked for his license and registration. The officer heard odd sounds from the trailer and decided to inspect it. He found 50 penguins inside.
“Why are there 50 penguins in your truck?” the officer asked.
“They’re my buddies,” the driver replied. “We enjoy traveling together.”
“You can’t just own 50 penguins,” the officer said. “You need to take them to the zoo.”
Police officer frowning next to a semi-truck holding a notepad | Source: Midjourney
The driver agreed and drove away. The next day, the same officer stopped the same truck and heard the same strange noises. He checked the trailer and found the same 50 penguins.
“I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo!” the officer exclaimed.
“I did!” the driver responded. “They had a great time. Today, we’re going to the beach.”
Penguins walking through a regular sunny beach | Source: Midjourney
3. The Plasterer
A duck waddled into a pub and asked for a beer and a ham sandwich.
The bartender stared and said, “Hold on a sec! You’re a duck!”
“That’s pretty obvious,” the duck replied.
“And you talk!” shouted the bartender.
“And you hear well!” the duck said. “Now, about that beer and sandwich?”
A duck in a construction worker’s uniform sitting at a bar eating a sandwich | Source: Midjourney
“Oh, right, sorry,” the bartender said, pouring the duck’s beer. “We don’t get many ducks around here. What brings you in?”
“I’m working at that construction site over there,” the duck explained. “I’m a plasterer.”
The bartender was surprised, but let the duck be when he pulled out a newspaper to read.
The duck read the paper, ate his food, and left. He did this every day for two weeks.
A duck sitting at a bar reading a newspaper | Source: Midjourney
Then, the circus came to town. The circus manager came into the pub, and the bartender said, “Hey, you’re with the circus, right? I know a duck who’d be a star in your show! He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the paper… he’s amazing!”
“Is that right?” the circus manager said, handing the bartender his card. “Tell him to give me a call.”
The next day, when the duck came in, the bartender said, “Hey Mr. Duck, I think I found you a fantastic job that pays really well.”
“I’m always interested in new opportunities,” the duck said. “Where is it?”
“At the circus,” the bartender answered.
A circus in a field | Source: Midjourney
“The circus?” the duck asked.
“Yep,” said the bartender.
“The circus?” the duck asked again. “The one with the big tent?”
“Exactly!” said the bartender.
“With the animals in cages and people living in trailers?” asked the duck.
“That’s the one,” said the bartender.
“And the tent is made of that heavy fabric with a hole at the top?” the duck asked.
“That’s right!” said the bartender.
The duck shook his head and said, “Why would they need a plasterer?”
A duck in a construction worker’s uniform working as a plasterer | Source: Midjourney
4. Slowpoke Centipede
A man saw a sign at a pet store that said, “Talking Centipede $100.” He thought it was cool and bought it. When he got home, he opened the box and asked the centipede if it wanted to grab a beer. The centipede didn’t say anything, so the man thought he got ripped off.
After a while, he tried again. He shouted, “Want to go get a beer?” The centipede popped out of the box and said, “Be quiet! I heard you the first time! I’m putting my shoes on!”
A fairytale version of a centipede talking and putting on shoes inside a box | Source: Midjourney
5. Hell’s Handyman
An engineer died and went to Hell.
The devil was shocked because engineers don’t usually go there. Hell was a mess: the AC was busted, the pool was empty, and everything was broken.
The engineer got to work fixing things. He fixed the AC, filled the pool, and even made the roads better.
God saw that everyone in Hell was having fun, which wasn’t right. He asked the devil what was going on.
A cartoon version of God in Hell looking confused because people are having fun at the pool | Source: Midjourney
The devil said, “That engineer you sent here has been fixing everything. He’s made Hell a nice place!”
God said, “What? Engineers don’t belong in Hell! That was a mistake. Send him back so I can put him in Heaven!”
The devil said, “No way, we like him here.”
God said, “Send him back, or I’ll sue you!”
The devil laughed and said, “Where are you going to find a lawyer?”
A cartoon version of the devil in Hell shrugging with people having fun at the pool | Source: Midjourney
6. The Big-Time Lawyer
Joe left his small town to go to college and law school. He became a lawyer and went back to his hometown because he wanted to be a big deal there.
He opened his own office, but no one came at first. One day, he saw a man walking toward his office. Joe wanted to impress this man, so he pretended to be on the phone.
A man sitting on a desk in a tiny office talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
When the man walked in, Joe started talking loudly on the phone, saying things like, “No way! Tell those guys in New York I want $1 million! I’m going to court next week! My team is the best! We’re going to win for sure! Yeah, the judge already knows I’m right! No, I don’t care what they offer, we’re not backing down!”
He talked like this for a long time while the man waited. Finally, Joe hung up the phone and said to the man, “Sorry I took so long, I’m really busy. What can I do for you?”
The man answered, “I’m here to install your phone line.”
Man in uniform standing by the doorway of an office | Source: Midjourney
7. Chick Magnet
A man from the city moved to the countryside and wanted to try farming. He went to the farm store and said, “I’ll take 100 baby chicks.”
The store worker gave him the chicks.
A week later, the man came back and said, “I need 200 baby chicks this time.” The worker gave him the chicks.
Another week passed, and the man returned. He said, “Give me 500 baby chicks.”
“Wow,” the worker said, “you must be doing great!”
A man dressed as a farmer smiling with small chicks nearby | Source: Midjourney
“Nope,” the man sighed. “I’m either putting them in the ground too deep or too far apart.”
8. Bachelors
Two single guys were chatting, and they started talking about cooking.
“I got a cookbook last year,” the first guy said, “but I couldn’t make anything from it.”
“Was it too hard?” the second guy asked.
“Totally! Every recipe started the same way: ‘Get a clean plate and…'”
A man holding a cookbook in a kitchen with a sink full of dirty plates | Source: Midjourney
9. Copy That?
A new worker was puzzled by the office shredder.
“Want some help?” offered a nearby secretary.
“Yes,” he said, “how do I use this?”
“Easy,” she replied, taking his thick report and putting it in the shredder.
“Thanks,” he smiled, “but what side do the copies come out?”
Man shrugging confused next to a paper shredder in an office hallway | Source: Midjourney
10. Whoa, Amen!
A man got lost in the desert. After wandering for weeks, he found a small house. He was tired and weak, so he crawled to the house and fainted.
The owner of the house, a kind and religious man, found him and helped him get better. When the man felt stronger, he asked for directions to the nearest town.
As he was leaving, he saw a horse. He asked the owner if he could borrow it. The owner agreed but said, “To make the horse go, say ‘Thank God.’ To make it stop, say ‘Amen.'”
A horse drinking water from a puddle next to a small house in a deserted area | Source: Midjourney
The man didn’t really listen and said, “Okay, sure.” He got on the horse and said, “Thank God,” and the horse started walking. He said, “Thank God, thank God,” and the horse started running. Feeling brave, the man shouted, “Thank God, thank God, thank God!” and the horse went even faster.
Suddenly, he saw a cliff ahead. He tried to stop the horse, yelling, “Whoa, stop!” Then he remembered, “Amen!”
The horse stopped right at the edge of the cliff. The man took a deep breath and said, “Thank God.”
Man looking scared riding a horse | Source: Midjourney
11. Nutty Natter
A man went into a bar and ordered a beer. As he was drinking, he heard a voice say, “Nice tie!” He looked around, but he and the bartender were the only ones there. Then the voice said, “I like your shirt!” Confused, the man called the bartender over.
“Am I losing it?” he asked. “I keep hearing voices telling me nice things, but no one else is here.”
“It’s the peanuts,” the bartender answered.
“What?” the man asked.
“The peanuts,” the bartender said again. “They’re complimentary.”
Peanuts in a smiley face bowl on a bar counter | Source: Midjourney
I Married My Childhood Friend – He Told Me His Family’s Secret on Our Wedding Night & It Almost Ruined My Life
After marrying my childhood sweetheart, I thought our happily ever after had finally begun. That was until he handed me a notebook filled with his mother’s secrets.
I didn’t expect to run into Michael that morning. I was just grabbing my usual coffee, walking down Main Street in our old hometown, when I spotted him. Tall, familiar, with a hint of gray in his hair, he was standing outside the coffee shop we used to go to after school.
A man with a book in a cafe | Source: Pexels
“Michael?” I called out, almost in disbelief.
He turned, and for a second, he just stared. Then, a big grin spread across his face. “Is that really you?” he said, his voice warm, just like I remembered. “I never thought I’d see you around here again!”
“Same here!” I laughed. “What are the odds?”
A couple holding hands on a date | Source: Pexels
We decided to grab coffee together, just like old times. Inside the shop, everything felt like it had back then. The old wood counters and the smell of fresh pastries. It was almost like time had rewound itself.
We chatted for hours that day, catching up on everything and nothing. We laughed over old stories, like the time we both got lost on a hike or how we’d leave each other notes in history class. The hours melted away.
A couple on a date | Source: Midjourney
Coffee turned into lunch, lunch turned into long walks, and before we knew it, we were calling each other every day. There was something so easy, so natural about being around him.
A few months later, Michael proposed. It was simple, just him and me, sitting by the lake one evening.
“I don’t want to waste any more time,” he said, his voice steady but full of emotion. “I love you. I’ve always loved you. Will you marry me?”
A marriage proposal | Source: Pexels
I didn’t hesitate for a second. “Yes,” I whispered, tears filling my eyes. Two months later, we tied the knot.
After the wedding, we drove to his family home, where we’d spent many afternoons as kids. The house hadn’t changed a bit. Even the wallpaper in the hallway was the same, and the old oak tree in the yard was still there.
A small house | Source: Pexels
Later that evening, after I’d freshened up, I came back to find Michael sitting on the edge of the bed, looking… different. His usual easy smile was gone. He was holding a small, worn notebook in his hands.
“Michael?” I asked, sitting down beside him. “Is everything okay?”
A nervous man | Source: Pexels
He didn’t look at me right away. His eyes were on the notebook, fingers tracing the edge. “There’s… something I need to tell you.”
The tone of his voice sent a chill down my spine. “What is it?”
He took a deep breath, finally meeting my gaze. “This notebook is my mom’s,” he said quietly. “She kept notes… about our family. About something she thought was important.”
A worn notebook | Source: Pexels
“Okay…” I said slowly, not quite understanding.
He handed it to me, and I opened it. Pages and pages of neat, looping handwriting filled every page. “My family has this… belief,” he began. “A curse, actually. It sounds ridiculous, I know, but they believe it’s real.”
“A curse?” I asked, eyebrows raised, trying to hide my skepticism.
A woman talking to her husband | Source: Midjourney
He nodded. “My mom says that any woman who marries into the family… is cursed with bad luck. Tragedy. Pain. It’s happened for generations, or so she says.”
I almost laughed but stopped myself when I saw the worry in his eyes. “Michael, you don’t really believe this, do you?”
A worried man | Source: Pexels
He ran a hand through his hair, looking torn. “I don’t know. I’ve always told myself it’s just an old family superstition. But… I’ve seen things, you know? My dad’s marriage to my mom wasn’t exactly smooth. My uncle — well, let’s just say things ended badly for him, too.”
I took his hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “Look, that doesn’t mean anything. Marriages are hard for a lot of people.”
Woman holding a man’s hand | Source: Pexels
He gave a faint smile, but his eyes still looked troubled. “Maybe you’re right,” he said, though he didn’t sound convinced.
A week after the wedding, small misfortunes began to pile up. First, it was a flat tire right before we departed for our honeymoon, leaving us unable to drive anywhere.
“Just bad luck,” I told him, forcing a laugh.
A flat tire | Source: Pexels
Back home, things took a strange turn. The business I’d spent years building started losing clients. A string of bad reviews appeared online, some from people I’d never even worked with. I tried everything to fix it, but nothing seemed to help. It felt like someone had cursed my work.
Then, someone broke into our house. Nothing important or valuable was stolen, but the psychological damage was done.
A man picking a lock | Source: Freepik
Michael noticed, too. “You think this… this curse could be real?” he asked one night, his voice low.
“Of course not,” I replied quickly, though I was starting to doubt myself. “There has to be an explanation for all of this. Maybe it’s just… I don’t know… a phase.”
The turning point came just before Thanksgiving. Michael’s mother insisted we host the holiday at our home. We chatted on the phone about the menu, and she seemed in good spirits.
A woman talking on her phone | Source: Pexels
After the call, I placed my phone down on the couch and picked up a book, settling in to read. But as I turned the page, I heard voices. The phone was still connected.
“Do you really think this curse nonsense is still working?” Michael’s father asked her, sounding exasperated.
Without thinking, I immediately pressed the record button.
A serious woman on her phone | Source: Pexels
She laughed. “It works every time. Look at her! Her business is already struggling, and Michael is so wrapped up in worry he can hardly think straight. And I will put an end to this when I ruin her turkey.”
“Enough, Marianne,” he replied. “You’ve already scared off enough good women from our sons.”
“If they aren’t right for my boys, I’ll do what I have to,” she said, her tone cold. “I know what’s best for them.”
Mature couple talking | Source: Pexels
My stomach turned. I ended the call, feeling numb, replaying her words in my mind. All those strange things — the flat tire, the bad reviews — they were her doing. There was no curse. It was all a lie, a twisted trick to control her sons and their wives.
That night, I sat across from Michael, clutching my phone with trembling hands. “Michael,” I began, “there’s something I need you to hear.”
A woman talking to her husband | Source: Freepik
He looked at me, his brows knitted in concern. “What’s wrong?”
I pressed play, and his mother’s voice filled the room.
Michael looked stunned, his eyes darting from the phone to me as he tried to process what he’d heard. “This… this has to be a mistake,” he stammered, the disbelief thick in his voice. “She wouldn’t… my mother would never—”
A shocked man looking at his phone | Source: Pexels
I took his hand. “Michael, I overheard the whole thing. She’s been trying to break us apart.”
Finally, he looked at me, his face set with determination. “I need to hear it from her. I need to hear the truth, from both of them.”
We arrived at his parents’ house late that night. Michael’s father opened the door, looking surprised to see us. “Michael, is everything alright?”
A surprised man | Source: Pexels
Michael pushed past him, his face pale with anger. “Where’s Mom?”
His father’s face fell, and he took a step back. “Michael, please, calm down.”
“I am calm,” he said, his voice strained. “But I need answers, Dad.”
Marianne looked taken aback, her eyes flicking to her husband, who wouldn’t meet her gaze. “What are you talking about?”
A surprised elderly woman | Source: Pexels
Michael held up my phone. “I heard you, Mom. You and Dad, talking about the curse. Talking about how you’ve been… interfering. Scaring off women, making them think they’re cursed.”
Her face went from feigned confusion to a hard, calculating expression. “Michael, I don’t know what you think you heard, but—”
“You know what you said, Marianne,” his father interrupted quietly, stepping forward. “There’s no point denying it.”
An angry elderly man | Source: Pexels
She whirled on him, her eyes flashing. “Don’t you dare!”
“Don’t I dare?” His father shook his head, looking tired and worn down. “I’ve kept my mouth shut for years. Watched you chase off every woman Michael or his brothers ever loved. Watched you lie, sabotage, play with people’s lives just because you thought you knew what was best. It’s gone on long enough.”
An elderly couple arguing | Source: Midjourney
Michael’s face crumpled as he looked from his father to his mother. “So it’s true?” he whispered. “All of it?”
Tears began streaming down her face. “I did it because I love you, Michael.”
He took a step back, shaking his head. “This isn’t love. This is control.”
A heavy silence fell over the room. His father spoke next, his voice weary. “Michael, I’ve tried to reason with her, believe me. But she’s… she believes she’s doing the right thing.”
A frustrated elderly man | Source: Pexels
Michael turned to his father, his voice full of hurt. “And you let her do this? All these years?”
His father looked down. “I was afraid of losing my family. I thought maybe one day, she’d stop. That you’d be strong enough to… break free from it.”
Michael turned silent. Taking my hand, he led me to the door. Outside, he looked up at the stars, his shoulders slumped in defeat. He glanced over at me, his voice barely a whisper. “I’m so sorry. For all of it.”
A sad man looking at the skies | Source: Pexels
I squeezed his hand. “We’re free now, Michael. That’s all that matters.”
But as we walked to the car, I felt the weight of the past, the sadness of a family broken by secrets and a mother’s misguided attempts at love. Michael’s heart would take time to heal, but we were leaving the curse and his mother behind.
Holding hands | Source: Pexels
Liked this story? Consider checking out this one: Colleen believed she knew everything about her husband until she accidentally overheard his therapy session. Michael’s startling confession revealed his darkest secrets, destroying their 12-year marriage and leaving Colleen to pick up the shattered pieces of their family…
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
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