Breakups are never easy. They bring a whirlwind of emotions, self-reflection, and sometimes, heart-wrenching pain. While it’s commonly believed that women are more emotional during a breakup, recent studies suggest that men may actually experience more emotional distress than women.
Why is that? The answer lies in a mix of psychological, societal, and emotional factors that shape how men handle breakups. Let’s dive into the reasons why breakups tend to hit men harder and what they can do to recover.

Men and Emotional Vulnerability: A Silent Struggle
From a young age, men are often conditioned to suppress their emotions. Society teaches them that showing vulnerability is a sign of weakness. While women are encouraged to express their feelings and seek support, men are more likely to bottle up their emotions.
This emotional suppression can be damaging. When a breakup happens, men might not have a strong support system in place to help them process the pain. Many men rely on their romantic partners as their primary emotional support, so when that relationship ends, they often feel lost and alone.
Without an outlet to talk about their feelings, men may struggle with feelings of sadness, loneliness, and even depression—sometimes much more intensely than women.
Societal Expectations: The Pressure to “Man Up”
One of the biggest reasons men struggle with breakups is the pressure to “man up” and move on quickly. Society often expects men to show emotional resilience, discouraging them from expressing grief or sadness.
Women, on the other hand, are more likely to seek comfort from friends, discuss their emotions, and actively work through their pain. Men, however, are often expected to act as if nothing has happened.
This need to maintain a tough exterior can prolong the healing process. Instead of working through their emotions, men might turn to distractions like excessive work, alcohol, or rebound relationships—only to find that the pain resurfaces later.
Why Romantic Relationships Matter More to Men
Men and women often approach relationships differently. While women tend to build multiple sources of emotional support through friendships and family, men frequently rely on their romantic partners as their main source of emotional intimacy.
When that relationship ends, it’s not just the loss of a girlfriend or wife—it’s the loss of a best friend, a confidant, and sometimes, their only emotional support system.
This can make the breakup feel like a double hit, leaving men struggling not only with heartbreak but also with a deep sense of emotional isolation.
Delayed Grief: Why Men Take Longer to Heal
Men and women grieve breakups differently. Women tend to feel the emotional pain more intensely at first, but they also process it faster by talking about it and seeking closure.
Men, however, often delay confronting their emotions. Instead of immediately processing the pain, they may distract themselves with work, hobbies, or casual relationships. But unresolved feelings don’t just disappear—they resurface later, sometimes in the form of depression, anxiety, or a lingering sense of emptiness.
This delayed emotional response can make breakups more painful for men in the long run, prolonging the healing process.
The Role of Attachment Styles in Breakup Pain

Attachment styles—the way people form emotional bonds—also play a role in how men experience breakups. Studies suggest that men are more likely to have an avoidant attachment style, meaning they struggle with emotional closeness but still feel deeply affected when a relationship ends.
This paradox can make breakups especially painful for men. On one hand, they may try to act indifferent and suppress their feelings. On the other hand, they might secretly feel heartbroken and unable to move on.
Women, by contrast, are more likely to have secure or anxious attachment styles, making them more willing to process and express their emotions.
Men Tend to Romanticize Past Relationships
Another reason men may suffer more after a breakup is that they often romanticize their past relationships. Instead of focusing on why the relationship ended, they tend to idealize the good times and overlook the problems.
Women, on the other hand, are more likely to process a breakup by analyzing what went wrong. This approach helps them gain clarity and move forward.
For men, however, this nostalgia can trap them in a cycle of regret and longing, making it even harder to let go and heal.

The Physical Impact of Breakups on Men
Breakups don’t just affect emotional health—they take a toll on physical health as well. Research suggests that men are more likely than women to experience:
- Sleep disturbances (insomnia or excessive sleeping)
- Changes in appetite (weight loss or gain)
- Weakened immune system (higher stress levels, increased risk of illness)
- Risky behaviors (drinking, smoking, reckless behavior)
Since men are less likely to seek emotional support, the stress of a breakup can manifest physically, leading to long-term health problems.
Why Women Heal Faster
Women tend to have healthier coping mechanisms when dealing with a breakup. They are more likely to:
- Talk about their emotions with friends and family
- Seek professional help like therapy or counseling
- Engage in self-care routines, like exercise or journaling
- Reflect on the relationship to understand what went wrong
These strategies allow women to process their emotions faster, helping them heal and move on more effectively than men.
Men, on the other hand, often suppress their pain and avoid dealing with it head-on, which ultimately prolongs their suffering.
How Men Can Heal After a Breakup

If breakups tend to hit men harder, what can they do to heal faster and move forward?
- Acknowledge Your Feelings – It’s okay to feel sad, angry, or confused. Accept your emotions instead of suppressing them.
- Talk to Someone – Whether it’s a close friend, family member, or therapist, opening up can help release pent-up emotions.
- Prioritize Self-Care – Exercise, eat well, and maintain a healthy routine to keep both your mind and body in check.
- Stay Busy, But Don’t Avoid Healing – Engaging in new hobbies or activities is great, but don’t use them as an escape from your emotions.
- Reflect and Grow – Instead of dwelling on what’s lost, focus on what you’ve learned and how you can grow from the experience.
Healing takes time, but taking proactive steps can make the journey smoother and more empowering.
Conclusion: The Emotional Reality of Breakups for Men
While breakups are painful for everyone, men often struggle more due to emotional suppression, societal expectations, and a lack of support systems. Their tendency to avoid emotions, romanticize past relationships, and delay grief can make the healing process more challenging.
However, understanding these factors can pave the way for healthier coping strategies. By embracing vulnerability, seeking support, and focusing on self-care, men can heal and emerge stronger from a breakup.
At the end of the day, heartbreak is a painful but transformative experience. It’s not just about losing someone—it’s about rediscovering yourself, learning from the past, and preparing for healthier, more fulfilling relationships in the future.
Judge Judy’s Twice-Told Love Story Will Leave You in Awe

When Judge Judy Sheindlin divorced her husband, she was going through a very tough time. But their separation didn’t last long, and later she shared why she chose to marry him again.
Judge Judy Sheindlin is famous for being a TV judge and has a background as a prosecutor and family court judge. She is married to Jerry Sheindlin, who is also a lawyer and a former judge.
Judy and her husband have always supported each other in their legal jobs. When Jerry, who was a judge in New York, got an offer to join “The People’s Court,” he asked Judy for advice.
In an interview, Jerry said, “She is the one who told me I should do it.” He added that he wouldn’t have accepted the role if Judy had doubts about it.
Even with Judy’s big success on TV, Jerry wasn’t worried about competition. He said, “I think that behind every great woman, there is a man. […] But I also heard that behind every great man, there is a woman.”
Jerry started leaving his job as a Supreme Court judge when he began filming for “The People’s Court.” This new job, where he handled about 10 cases a day for two days a week, was much easier than the 150 cases he used to manage.
Judy and Jerry’s relationship has always been tied to their shared legal careers. They first met in a bar after Jerry had just defended a murder case.
While talking to a reporter, Judy walked in, pointed at him, and asked, “And who is this?” Jerry replied, “Lady, get your finger out of my face.” Since then, they have been together.
While Jerry enjoyed watching Judy’s success on TV, he joked, “If my show takes off and I beat her, I am contacting Hollywood to remake ‘Sleeping With the Enemy.’”
Their relationship grew with their boldness and humor. After a year together, Judy hinted at marriage, but Jerry had some doubts.

He said, “Why does the government have to dictate our relationship? It’s just a piece of paper. We’re already committed to each other.” Instead of pushing him, Judy suggested that if Jerry wanted them to live together, he should ask her dad for permission. Not wanting to face her father, Jerry chose to set a wedding date, and they married in 1977.
Though they were very committed to each other, their relationship hit a rough patch in 1990 when they divorced. The strain came after Judy’s father passed away, which put her under a lot of emotional stress. However, they remarried just a year later.

Jerry shared his feelings about that tough time, saying, “I missed her presence the very first week we were separated. It was strange not seeing her every day.”
Meanwhile, Judy admitted she enjoyed being married and missed Jerry when they were apart. She believed there was something special about sharing life as a couple.
After they got back together, Judy talked about their brief split in an interview. When asked why she decided to reunite with Jerry in 1991, she said, “That’s a long story, but the end is: I found that most men were alike.”
Judy shared her views on the differences between men and women. She said men have different basic needs. They like being cared for, receiving affection, and having their personal space. If they are fed, shown love, and given room to do their own thing, they are usually happy.

She has always been open about the dynamics of her long marriage with Jerry. In a January 2024 interview, she talked about how they have kept their relationship strong for nearly 50 years.
“You don’t spend 24 hours together because that’s deadly,” she explained, stressing the importance of personal space. Judy added, “Jerry just celebrated his 90th birthday, and I still like looking at him when he walks in the room—that’s a key.”
Judy, who will turn 82 on October 21, 2024, has always talked about how important it is to look good as you age. However, when it comes to Jerry, she doesn’t need to remind him—he already knows how to stay healthy.
“He loves himself dearly. Jerry is almost ten years older than I am, but I think his goal is to outlive me. He takes very good care of himself,” said the TV star, who once had a mini-stroke while filming a show.
Judy and Jerry’s lasting bond continues to win over fans, both on and off the screen. In a heartfelt Facebook post, she shared a picture of them together, which received a lot of love from followers.
One person commented, “You and your husband look so good together. Love your smiles,” while another said, “You look amazing. Love your common sense judgments.”
Judy Sheindlin and Jerry Sheindlin’s long-lasting relationship shows the power of love, respect, and shared laughter. After nearly five decades together, their bond remains strong, proving that true companionship can last through all of life’s challenges.
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