Now don’t get me wrong, she wasn’t annoying me because I was a mean mother-in-law (MIL) who hated her. But because of her selfish question. It seemed I was expected to always be around. “I am going on a vacation to the Bahamas. I already bought the tickets and booked myself at a lovely hotel.”
My son and DIL exchanged surprised looks before staring at me as if I’d grown a second head. “This is so unlike you, mom. Who are you going with?” I rolled my eyes at George’s response. He’d somehow forgotten that before he had kids, I was jetsetting every few months!
“That’s not true my love. I used to travel all the time when my time was mine,” I replied a bit irritated. I couldn’t believe how clueless he’d become when it came to my life. “Well, where are we going to get someone to babysit the kids for free every day?”
I realized at that moment that I’d spoiled these two. “Your parents are a start, Sarah. Arrange play dates with your friends’ children or something, I don’t know,” I said in frustration. Why was I the one who had to figure out what THEY did with their own children?
It dawned on me how much I had made them dependent on me. It wasn’t my intention, I think I took the Gam-Gam role a bit too far, and I so loved my little munchkins! They gave me so much to live for. But I was tired and needed a break.
Without waiting for their response, which I anticipated would make me angry, I turned to leave. “I will send you the details of when I leave, where I’ll be staying, and when I’ll return. Toodles!” I heard them falling over themselves as they tried to catch up to my quick stride.
They were LITERALLY trying to get ME to tell THEM what to do with their children! But I was having none of it and quickly closed the door before rushing to my car and driving away. Yes, I felt like I was escaping and running away from my responsibilities and I HATED that feeling!
When I arrived home, my DIL had left several voice messages that I had no intention of listening to. My therapist was the one who made me realize I was overworked and needed some time off. I was oblivious to that as I continued stretching myself to my limits.
She, my therapist, knocked it into my head that I was overcompensating by trying to be the best MIL and grandmother while losing myself. I stuck to my promise and sent George and Sarah all the details of my travels as a courtesy.
The next few weeks were filled with Sarah trying to convince me to leave with the kids. When she wasn’t trying to do that, she tried to get me to stay and not leave. “I need to do this for ME, Sarah. You won’t understand,” I explained, trying to get her off my back.
If my DIL wasn’t the one pestering me, my son got in on it. But with the words of my therapist playing in my head, “Stick to your guns. You are doing this for YOUR well-being,” I remained resolute in my decision.
When the fateful day came, I announced my departure to my son and left. For two glorious days on vacation, I had nothing but massages, long beach walks, drank piña coladas, and enjoyed the sunsets!
On the third day, my mood was spoiled when I suddenly received a disturbing message from my DIL. “George is on his business trip, my parents have house repairs, and I’m going on MY retreat,” her text began.
“And you know what? It’s in the Bahamas!! Isn’t it amazing? We’re already boarding, I need you to watch the kiddos!” Annoyed is an understatement for what I was feeling! I couldn’t understand, so HER parents have repairs, and I have a vacation, so I can babysit the kids?!
I was MAD AS HELL! I was practically seething! This time I leaned on my own faculties and decided to teach her a lesson on mutual respect. When they pitched, I was my usual affectionate self to my grandbabies and hugged and kissed them.
I then spent an hour bonding with the pair while Sarah mumbled about how SHE had to MEDITATE tomorrow. But the next day, I got an irritated call from her. “WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? WHERE ARE YOU?!” she had the nerve to demand.
All calm and relaxed as I had anticipated that type of response, I answered, “I’m at the spa, getting a massage. Why do you ask?” Sounding more frustrated, my DIL replied, “Why would you not answer your phone?!”
“The kids have been driving ME crazy, and I need a break!” I had finally had enough of her nonsense and took a deep breath before responding. “I hear you talking about what YOU need and want, but have you asked ME what my plans are?”
“Has it even occurred to YOU to find out if I WANT to babysit during MY vacation and time away?” I heard her gasp as she tried cutting in all respectful this time, saying, “Mrs. Thomas, I…” But I cut her off and continued my rant.
“Do you know what I am doing here, huh? Do you even CARE?” My voice went up a notch. “You receive what you deserve, Sarah. And maybe it’s time for YOU and George to learn a lesson about respect!”
My DIL was stunned into silence. She realized for the first time in two years the depth of her imposition. Her voice had softened as she stammered, “I… I didn’t think… I just assumed…”
I wasn’t done with her as I replied, “That’s exactly the problem we have, you assumed and KEEP assuming. I love my grandkids, but I also NEED my own time.”
“This was MY vacation. It’s time I took off so I can recuperate and have some self-care.” I could hear from the silence on the other side that Sarah was feeling guilty. She was FINALLY understanding where I was coming from.
“I’ve given you and Georgie two long years of my love and dedication.” I shared how I’d stretched myself because I wanted to be a good MIL and grandmother. I also wanted to be there for them as they transitioned into parenthood.
But then I went too far as they kept demanding more and more of my time. I confessed to my DIL that I started feeling burnt out. Yet, because I hadn’t felt the feeling before, I didn’t realize what was happening to me.
A friend I confided in suggested I see her therapist. That’s when it finally clicked that I was wearing myself thin. I was quite upset as I ended my rant by stating, “Next time, respect MY plans and ask, don’t just assume I’m here to serve your convenience!”
Sarah paused for a long time on the other end of the line and I was about to say something when she finally sighed. It appeared she finally understood the weight of my words and where I was coming from.
“You’re right. I’m sorry. I should have asked. I’ll make other arrangements,” my DIL replied, sounding defeated. I won’t lie, I felt a tinge of regret for how I approached things, but decided it was something that had to be done.
After all, as they say, people treat the way you teach them to. I thanked her for understanding. “Now, I’m going to enjoy the rest of my vacation. I suggest you find a way to enjoy yours too, without relying on me.”
I didn’t wait for a response before hanging up and felt the most serene wave of satisfaction! I had stood up for myself and drew boundaries that taught my DIL a valuable life lesson! I happily returned to my massage, content that I would not be disturbed anymore.
I felt the stress melt away from my body as the masseuse kneaded longstanding knots that had built up over the years. I was pleased to know that I had managed to reclaim my well-deserved break.
Unfortunately, Mrs. Thomas isn’t the only person who’s had to take measures to teach people important lessons. Mark’s mother kept nagging his pregnant wife to the point that the younger woman had to leave. Not wanting his mother to miss her mistake, Mark found a clever way to teach the parent about respect and boundaries.
new 1498
I Asked My Grandmother to Walk Down the Aisle at My Wedding — My Family Demands That I Apologize for It
Just days before her wedding, Leah discovers that her grandmother didn’t have a wedding. Unable to sleep due to her grandmother having missed her opportunity, Leah wants her grandparents to have their moment and walk down the aisle. Instead of it playing out as Leah plans, she has to deal with a grandmother in a wedding dress, an embarrassed grandfather, and livid family members. Did she ruin her own wedding just to give her grandmother a memory?
“Tell me about your wedding, Gran,” I asked, rocking back and forth on the porch swing. The night was quiet, and we were a week away from my wedding.
A person sitting on a porch swing | Source: Midjourney
All I wanted to do was soak up the time I had left with my grandmother because once we were married, Nate and I would be moving away.
“Oh, honey, there wasn’t really a wedding. Your grandfather always promised, but it never happened,” she smiled, her eyes distant.
A smiling old woman | Source: Pexels
“Never?” I asked, frowning.
My grandmother shook her head.
“No. He didn’t even propose, Leah,” she said. “He always said that we’d get around to it eventually, but life just kept getting in the way. We raised our kids, took care of the house, and before I knew it, decades had passed.”
A woman washing dishes | Source: Unsplash
“But you are married, right?” I asked, trying to understand why my grandmother’s words felt like such a blow to me.
“Married, yes. Your grandfather took me down to the courthouse, and we signed away our single lives. He didn’t ask me; he just said that it was going to happen. And it did.”
The exterior of a court house | Source: Unsplash
My heart ached for her.
“But you wanted one, right? A wedding, I mean,” I pressed.
Her smile was wistful.
“I did, but I let go of that dream a long time ago. Now, come on, I’ll make you some hot chocolate before you leave.”
Two mugs of hot chocolate | Source: Midjourney
Later that night, when I went back home to my fiancé, I couldn’t sleep at all. My grandmother’s words replayed in my mind, and I felt a deep sadness for her unfulfilled dream.
By morning, I had an idea. It seemed perfect. To me, everything was good. Everything made sense.
A woman lying in bed | Source: Unsplash
“Nate, can I run something by you?” I asked my fiancé over breakfast.
He nodded, looking up at me and smiling.
“What if Grandma walked down the aisle at our wedding?” I asked.
Eggs and bacon in a frying pan | Source: Midjourney
“Leah, what on earth do you mean?” he asked, sipping his coffee.
I sat across from him, nibbling on some toast, and I told him everything that my grandmother told me the previous night.
A man holding a mug | Source: Unsplash
“So, you’re saying that you want your grandmother to walk down the aisle in a wedding dress?”
“Yes,” I said, getting more excited by the idea. “We could get her a simple dress and some flowers. And she could walk down the aisle. It would be like giving her a piece of the wedding she never had.”
Nate smiled at me, the smile reaching his eyes.
An old woman in a wedding dress | Source: Midjourney
“Leah, what on earth do you mean?” he asked, sipping his coffee.
I sat across from him, nibbling on some toast, and I told him everything that my grandmother told me the previous night.
A man holding a mug | Source: Unsplash
“So, you’re saying that you want your grandmother to walk down the aisle in a wedding dress?”
“Yes,” I said, getting more excited by the idea. “We could get her a simple dress and some flowers. And she could walk down the aisle. It would be like giving her a piece of the wedding she never had.”
Nate smiled at me, the smile reaching his eyes.
An old woman in a wedding dress | Source: Midjourney
A hanging garment bag | Source: Midjourney
She gasped quietly, tears welling up in her eyes.
“Oh, sweetheart, I couldn’t…”
“Yes, you can,” I said firmly, handing her a bouquet of flowers. “I know that you’re married to Grandpa already, but this is part of your dream. Let’s make it happen.”
A bouquet of flowers | Source: Unsplash
She hugged me tightly, nodding against my ear. I asked another one of my bridesmaids to take my grandmother to one of the other dressing rooms so that she could take in the moment for herself.
Next, I asked for my grandfather to come to my dressing room.
A bride in a dressing room | Source: Pexels
“Grandpa, we’re going to have Grandma walk down the aisle today. Like a bride, okay? You guys can have your moment. And it will be beautiful because we get to share the day.”
He snorted, immediately dismissive.
An upset old man | Source: Pexels
“Leah, that’s ridiculous,” he said. “At our age? It’s more a mockery than anything else.”
I was taken aback by his reaction.
“But it’s something that Gran has always wanted.”
Instead, he waved me off.
“I’m not interested, Leah. We are here for your wedding. That’s it.”
An old man holding a cane | Source: Pexels
Despite his refusal, the ceremony proceeded. I knew that I should have tried to convince him harder, but there wasn’t any time.
As the music started, my grandmother stepped onto the aisle, with me watching her from behind.
“It’s okay,” I told her before. “You just do it alone if you have to. Walk to Nate, and then you can take a seat at the front. And then it will be my turn to walk to my future husband.”
A groom | Source: Unsplash
There was confusion when Gran started walking down the aisle, especially because she wasn’t walking toward my grandfather, but to Nate instead.
As she walked, guests gasped, unable to comprehend what was going on.
My grandfather’s face turned red, and he stood up abruptly. He looked me straight in the eye as he stormed out of the venue.
An old man with his mouth open | Source: Pexels
I felt a pang of guilt but quickly refocused my attention on my grandmother, who had hugged Nate and was beaming with joy.
When she sat down, my entrance music began, and I walked down the aisle bursting with love for Nate. I hadn’t expected him to be okay with any of it, but the fact that he was just made everything more magical.
“Hey there,” he said as he took my hand when I reached the altar.
A couple at the altar | Source: Midjourney
The rest of the ceremony went off without any hiccups, and whenever I turned to look at my Gran, she had her little handkerchief in her hands ready to dab her eyes.
But then, everything changed after the ceremony.
It started with my nephew crashing into the table holding the champagne glasses, leaving glass everywhere.
Shattered glass | Source: Pexels
And then, instead of my family coming to me and throwing confetti on Nate and myself in celebration, they did the exact opposite.
My parents pulled me aside, my mother tugging harshly at my arm.
“What were you thinking, Leah?” she hissed. “You embarrassed your grandfather with that childish stunt. Why does it always have to be about you?”
An angry woman | Source: Pexels
“It wasn’t about me!” I protested. “It was about Grandma and her dream. She deserved this moment as much as I did. As much as you did when you got married, too.”
“And what about your grandfather?” my father chimed in, flagging down a waiter with canapes as he spoke. “You made a good old fool of him.”
But it didn’t stop there.
An angry man | Source: Pexels
My relatives kept coming up to me, agreeing with my parents. They didn’t even allow me to eat my first meal with Nate as his wife or have our first dance together.
It was all about them and how they thought that I had ruined my grandfather’s mood, and was it worth it?
“Of course, it’s worth it!” I told my mother’s sister when she slid into the chair next to me. “Anything for Gran!”
“It’s okay,” Nate said, as he pulled me into his arms, my tears threatening to escape.
A bridal couple standing together | Source: Pexels
“Did I ruin our wedding?” I asked him.
“You did no such thing,” he reassured me. “I’ll get the car, we can go to the hotel. We’ll take your grandmother, too. I’ve seen how everyone has been circling her.”
Later that night, I sat with my grandmother in her hotel room. Nate had booked her a room for the night.
A parked black car | Source: Pexels
“Spend time with her,” he said. “Let her know that you truly meant today as a way of healing her. She needs to know that. You can come to me later.”
“Did I do the right thing?” I asked, my voice trembling.
I knew that in my heart, I had done the right thing, but it was the way everyone else reacted.
My grandmother took my hand, her eyes full of gratitude.
Two woman sitting together | Source: Pexels
“You gave me a moment I never thought I’d have, Leah. Thank you, darling.”
Her words comforted me, but the rift with my family remained. They demanded that I apologize to my Grandpa, who doesn’t want to see me.
All I knew is that I cannot bring myself to regret giving Grandma her moment.
A smiling woman sitting on a bed | Source: Pexels
What do you think? Did I do the right thing?
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