Eight years of marriage shattered in one quick breath when my husband Mike brought home his pregnant sidekick and KICKED ME OUT of the house. I packed alright, but what I unpacked was a revenge plot so brilliant and karmic!
Portrait of a sad young woman | Source: Midjourney
It was a Tuesday evening when my life decided to go off the rails. I walked into our living room, tired from a long day at work, only to find a heavily pregnant woman sitting on our couch, eating chips.
At first, I thought maybe I’d accidentally wandered into the wrong house.
But no, there was our ugly floral wallpaper that Mike insisted on keeping, and there was Mike, looking like he’d just swallowed a porcupine.
A pregnant woman sitting on the couch | Source: Midjourney
“Hey, Michelle,” he said, his voice as casual as if he was asking me to pass the salt. “We need to talk.”
I stood there, frozen, my brain trying to compute the scene before me. The pregnant woman smiled awkwardly, her hand on her belly, looking like she was auditioning for a soap opera.
“This is Jessica,” Mike continued, gesturing to the human incubator on our couch. “She’s pregnant. With my child. It… it just happened. And we’ve decided to be together.”
A woman gaping in shock | Source: Midjourney
I waited for the punchline. Surely, this was some elaborate prank for a new reality TV show. Maybe I’d win a car if I didn’t freak out?
But Mike’s face remained serious, and Jessica kept smiling that infuriating smile.
“Mike,” I said slowly, “what do you mean by ‘it just happened’? Did you trip and fall into her—?”
Mike had the audacity to look offended. “Enough, Michelle! This is serious. I think it’s best if you move out. You can go stay with your mom. Jess and I’ll take over the house.”
A serious-looking man sitting on the couch | Source: Midjourney
I blinked. Once. Twice. Three times. Nope, still not a dream.
I was half-expecting Ashton Kutcher to jump out and tell me I’d been Punk’d. But alas, no Ashton. Just my cheating husband and his very pregnant sidekick.
“Alright,” I calmly said. “I’ll pack my things and leave.”
Mike looked relieved, probably thinking he’d gotten off easy. Jessica’s smile grew wider, like she’d just won the lottery. Little did they know, the lottery was about to hit them back, and hit them hard.
A heartbroken woman at the doorway | Source: Midjourney
I went upstairs, packed a suitcase with some essentials, and left without another word.
As I drove to my mom’s house, the shock wore off, and rage took its place. But this wasn’t just any rage. This was the kind of rage that makes you want to do something spectacularly stupid and incredibly satisfying.
The next day, I set my plan in motion.
First stop: the bank. I marched in there like a woman on a mission, which I was. I froze our joint account faster than you can say “cheating jerk.”
The look on the bank manager’s face when I explained why was priceless. I’m pretty sure he was mentally taking notes for his next novel.
A woman outside a bank | Source: Midjourney
Next, I visited a locksmith.
I remembered overhearing Mike tell Jessica they’d be gone for three days, giving me plenty of time to execute my master plan. It was like the universe was conspiring in my favor, and who was I to argue with destiny?
My next stop: my house. The same cozy house Mike and I once lived together, planning a future that was now a total trainwreck.
The puzzled locksmith probably thought I was crazy, cackling as I had him change all the locks on the house. I may have gone a bit overboard and asked for the most complicated, high-tech locks available. Hey, if I was going to do this, I was going to do it right. And big.
A locksmith fixing a door lock | Source: Midjourney
Then came the movers.
I gave them the spare keys and scheduled them to pack up everything I owned, which was basically everything in the house. I even took the toilet paper. Let’s see how Mike and Jessica enjoy using leaves!
But the piece de resistance? Oh, that was yet to come. I had a brilliant idea that would make this revenge not just sweet, but long-lasting.
Toilet paper rolls in a basket | Source: Midjourney
I sent out party invitations. Lots of them. To Mike’s family, our friends, his coworkers, even that nosy neighbor who always complained about our late dog.
The invitation read: “Come celebrate Mike’s new life! Surprise party at our house, tomorrow at 7 p.m.!”
A party invitation | Source: Midjourney
Then, I commissioned a billboard. Yes, a billboard. A huge one. It was delivered and set up on our front lawn, impossible to miss.
In giant, bold letters, it proclaimed: “Congratulations on Dumping Me for Your Pregnant Mistress, Mike! Hope the Baby Doesn’t Inherit Your Infidelity!”
I stepped back to admire my handiwork, feeling like a mischievous fairy godmother who’d just granted the world’s most ironic wish. With a satisfied smirk and a dramatic hair flip, I sashayed away from the scene, eagerly anticipating the chaos that was about to unfold.
A billboard outside a house | Source: Midjourney
The next evening, right on cue, my phone rang. It was Mike, and he sounded like he was having an aneurysm.
“Michelle!” he screeched, his voice hitting octaves I didn’t know he could reach. “What the hell is going on? Why are there people at our house? And what’s with this insane billboard?”
“Oh, that?” I said, trying to sound innocent. “Just a little housewarming party for you and Jessica. Don’t you like the decorations?”
“Decorations? It’s a freaking circus out here! And why can’t I get into the house?”
A startled man talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
I couldn’t help but giggle. “Well, honey, you told me to move out, remember? You never said anything about you staying there. I just remembered that the house is solely under my name. So, I changed the locks. Oopsie!”
There was a long silence on the other end. I could almost hear the gears in his tiny brain trying to process what was happening.
“Where are we supposed to go?” he finally sputtered.
“Gee, I don’t know, Mike. Maybe Jessica’s mom would love to have you? I hear pregnancy hormones and in-laws mix really well.”
A smiling woman talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney
I hung up, feeling lighter than I had in years. But wait, there was more!
In the days that followed, I had the utilities cut off, canceled the cable, and made sure all our joint assets were transferred into my name. I listed the house for sale, making sure to mention in the listing that it came with a “bonus front lawn art installation.”
I had Mike served with divorce papers at work. I specifically requested the mailman to dress up as a pregnant woman. Just for funsies.
But the universe wasn’t done with Mike yet. Oh no, it had saved the best for last.
A man gaping in shock as he holds some papers | Source: Midjourney
A week later, I got a call from Jessica. Yes, that Jessica. She was crying so hard I could barely understand her.
“Michelle,” she sobbed, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know… I mean, Mike told me you two were separated. And now… now he’s broke and homeless, and I’m pregnant, and I don’t know what to do!”
I almost felt bad for her. Almost.
“Well, Jessica,” I said, trying to keep the glee out of my voice, “I hear the circus is always looking for new acts. Maybe you two could start a juggling duo? You juggle the baby, he juggles his lies?”
She didn’t appreciate my humor. Tsk! Tsk!
Silhouette of a pregnant woman holding a smartphone | Source: Midjourney
As it turns out, when Jessica found out that Mike was now homeless, broke, and the laughingstock of the town, she decided that maybe being with a guy who had no money, no house, and no future wasn’t such a great idea after all.
She dumped him faster than you can say “Karma’s a b****!”
Last I heard, Mike was living in a tiny apartment, trying to scrape together enough money to pay bills and feed his hungry belly. His family had cut him off, disgusted by his behavior.
They even sent me a fruit basket and a sorry card. I ate the fruits while soaking in my new jacuzzi.
As for me? Well, the house sold for a nice profit. I moved to a beautiful new place, started my own business, and adopted a cat. I named him Karma.
A woman with her pet cat | Source: Midjourney
So yeah, my revenge might have been a bit over the top. But let’s be real, bringing home a pregnant mistress and trying to kick me out of my own house? That’s not just crossing a line, that’s pole-vaulting over it and then setting the pole on fire.
In the end, I learned a valuable lesson: When life gives you lemons, don’t just make lemonade. Squeeze those lemons into the eyes of those who wronged you, and then sit back and watch them stumble around blindly. It’s much more satisfying.
And remember, folks: cheaters never prosper, but the cheated-on with a good sense of humor and a flair for the dramatic? Oh, we do just fine!
A cheerful woman smiling | Source: Midjourney
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
If You Notice This While Brushing Your Teeth, It Could Be a Sign of Dementia
For the person suffering from dementia as well as the ones closest to them, it may be an extremely frightening disease. On the other hand, early detection of dementia symptoms might make everyone feel better prepared. More equipped to handle the ambiguity, emotional upheaval, or perplexity. Fortunately, Dr. Richard Restak’s book, How to Prevent Dementia, was released on October 17, 2023. Some early indicators of the condition are covered in the book. The physician reveals in the book that there are four main dementia early warning indicators. He refers to the symptoms of dementia as the “Four A’s” and describes how they might manifest in routine activities like brushing your teeth. He stated that the exterior manifestations and internal feelings of an Alzheimer’s patient are driven by four deficits.
1. Amnesia may be a sign of dementia
According to Dr. Restak, forgetfulness is a common aging process. Thus, it only warrants concern when it occurs frequently and involving items that ought to be commonplace. For instance, if you routinely lose track of details like your address, name, or family members’ names. He adds that while this is a typical aging symptom, it might not always indicate dementia.
2. Or aphasia
The term “aphasia” describes a problem of comprehension and communication. That is, a person’s capacity for speaking, writing, and reading could deteriorate. On a daily basis, this could appear to be someone who mispronounces a word or has forgotten what it means. Dr. Restak points out that this could not be a reliable indicator of dementia either. Why then include them? The solution is easy to understand. Diseases and people have a significant characteristic. Like diseases, we vary from case to case. No condition fits neatly into a box or checklist, and some symptoms may apply to some people but not to others. Rather, diseases and humans have certain characteristics that may fall into one category but not another. Consequently, even though these dementia symptoms might not apply to everyone, they can significantly help some people learn how to deal with and manage the condition.
3. Appropriate Indices of Dementia: Agnosia and Apraxia
One illness that affects the senses is anemia. It makes it impossible to identify well-known individuals or locations. This can be experienced by touch, taste, smell, sound, or sight. Among the instances are failing to identify a family member, house, or preferred destination for a Saturday excursion. Aphasia, on the other hand, is the final of the four symptoms of dementia and manifests itself when performing routine actions like brushing your teeth. Muscle function and strength are affected by the illness. Although apraxia can cause a person to forget to brush or even have difficulty holding the toothbrush, Dr. Restak cautions that the condition goes far deeper than that. When someone has apraxia, they frequently are unable to “tie all the actions together” or perform them in the right sequence. “An individual suffering from apraxia might be able to identify and even name a toothbrush and toothpaste, but they might not be able to perform the simple act of pressing toothpaste onto the toothbrush.” He composed. “All the muscle parts are there, but they are not able to work together.” Individuals in advanced phases could also find it difficult to take a shower or get dressed.Restak wrote in How to Prevent Dementia that “many, if not all, expressions of Alzheimer’s can be explained by reference to the four A’s.”
4. Alzheimer’s versus dementia
The title of the book is Dementia Prevention. Still, Dr. Restak makes several allusions to Alzheimer’s. This is due to the long-held belief that the two illnesses are very similar. While this is accurate, there are a few significant distinctions between the two, and it turns out that one frequently leads to the other. In general medicine, the term “dementia” refers to brain changes brought on by aging, illness, or trauma. the term used to describe a collection of symptoms that impair a person’s capacity to operate and carry out daily tasks. Conversely, Alzheimer’s is more common in the old and senior population and frequently results in dementia.
5. Having a Conversation with an Expert
It’s advised to get in touch with a medical expert right away if you believe someone you know is showing dementia symptoms. They will have a better understanding of your symptoms and be able to conduct tests that will help determine the exact cause. But the discussion may also be frightening, awkward, and emotionally charged. There are a few things one can do to facilitate a more seamless communication. First, make sure everything is quiet, peaceful, and devoid of distractions like the TV. After that, get ready for an emotional roller coaster. Just provide the facts, but do so in a kind and perceptive manner. Summarize the important points in brief phrases and words. Permit the other individual to finish speaking. It might also be advisable in some circumstances to enlist expert assistance. For example, you can probably get emotional support, resources, and sometimes even medical guidance about what’s ahead from a religious leader, a primary care physician, or a certified therapist. In any case, the first step to learning to live with and conquer the obstacles brought on by dementia is being aware of its symptoms.
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