I was stunned when my husband, Jake, handed me a schedule to help me “become a better wife.” But instead of blowing up, I played along.Little did Jake know, I was about to teach him a lesson that would make him rethink his newfound approach to marriage.
I’ve always prided myself on being the level-headed one in our marriage. Jake, bless his heart, could get swept up in things pretty easily, whether it was a new hobby, or some random YouTube video that promised to change his life in three easy steps.
But we were solid until Jake met Steve. Steve was the type of guy who thought being loudly opinionated made him right, the type that talks right over you when you try to correct him.
He was also a perpetually single guy (who could have guessed?), who graciously dispensed relationship advice to all his married colleagues, Jake included. Jake should’ve known better, but my darling husband was positively smitten with Steve’s confidence.
I didn’t think much of it until Jake started making some noxious comments.
“Steve says relationships work best when the wife takes charge of the household,” he’d say. Or “Steve thinks it’s important for women to look good for their husbands, no matter how long they’ve been married.”
I’d roll my eyes and reply with some sarcastic remark, but it was getting under my skin. Jake was changing. He’d arch his eyebrows if I ordered takeout instead of cooking, and sigh when I let the laundry pile up because, God forbid, I had my own full-time job.
And then it happened. One night, he came home with The List.
He sat me down at the kitchen table, unfolded a piece of paper, and slid it across to me.
“I’ve been thinking,” he started, his voice dripping with a condescending tone I hadn’t heard from him before. “You’re a great wife, Lisa. But there’s room for improvement.”
My eyebrows shot up. “Oh really?”
He nodded, oblivious to the danger zone he was entering. “Yeah. Steve helped me realize that our marriage could be even better if you, you know, stepped up a bit.”
I stared at the paper in front of me. It was a schedule… and he’d written “Lisa’s Weekly Routine for Becoming a Better Wife” at the top in bold.
This guy had actually sat down and mapped out my entire week based on what Steve — a single guy with zero relationship experience — thought I should do to “improve” myself as a wife.
I was supposed to wake up at 5 a.m. every day to make Jake a gourmet breakfast. Then I’d hit the gym for an hour to “stay in shape.”
After that? A delightful lineup of chores: cleaning, laundry, ironing. And that was all before I left for work. I was supposed to cook a meal from scratch every evening and make fancy snacks for Jake and his friends when they came over to hang out at our place.
The whole thing was sexist and insulting on so many levels I didn’t even know where to start. I ended up staring at him, wondering if my husband had lost his mind.
“This will be great for you, and us,” he continued, oblivious.
“Steve says it’s important to maintain structure, and I think you could benefit from —”
“I could benefit from what?” I interrupted, my voice dangerously calm. Jake blinked, caught off guard by the interruption, but he recovered quickly.
“Well, you know, from having some guidance and a schedule.”
I wanted to throw that paper in his face and ask him if he’d developed a death wish. Instead, I did something that surprised even me: I smiled.
“You’re right, Jake,” I said sweetly. “I’m so lucky that you made me this schedule. I’ll start tomorrow.”
The relief on his face was instant. I almost felt sorry for him as I got up and stuck the list on the fridge. Almost. He had no idea what was coming.
The next day, I couldn’t help but smirk as I studied the ridiculous schedule again. If Jake thought he could hand me a list of “improvements,” then he was about to find out just how much structure our life could really handle.
I pulled out my laptop, opened up a fresh document, and titled it, “Jake’s Plan for Becoming the Best Husband Ever.” He wanted a perfect wife? Fine. But there was a cost to perfection.
I began by listing all the things he had suggested for me, starting with the gym membership he was so keen on. It was laughable, really.
“$1,200 for a personal trainer.” I typed, barely containing my giggle.
Next came the food. If Jake wanted to eat like a king, that wasn’t happening on our current grocery budget. Organic, non-GMO, free-range everything? That stuff didn’t come cheap.
“$700 per month for groceries,” I wrote. He’d probably need to chip in for a cooking class too. Those were pricey, but hey, perfection wasn’t free.
I leaned back in my chair, laughing to myself as I imagined Jake’s face when he saw this. But I wasn’t done. Oh no, the pièce de résistance was still to come.
See, there was no way I could juggle all these expectations while holding down my job. If Jake wanted me to dedicate myself full-time to his absurd routine, then he’d have to compensate for the loss of my income.
I pulled up a calculator, estimating the value of my salary. Then, I added it to the list, complete with a little note: “$75,000 per year to replace Lisa’s salary since she will now be your full-time personal assistant, maid, and chef.”
My stomach hurt from laughing at this point.
And just for good measure, I threw in a suggestion about him needing to expand the house. After all, if he was going to have his friends over regularly, they’d need a dedicated space that wouldn’t intrude on my newly organized, impossibly structured life.
“$50,000 to build a separate ‘man cave’ so Jake and his friends don’t disrupt Lisa’s schedule.”
By the time I was done, the list was a masterpiece. A financial and logistical nightmare, sure, but a masterpiece nonetheless. It wasn’t just a counterattack — it was a wake-up call.
I printed it out, set it neatly on the kitchen counter, and waited for Jake to come home. When he finally walked through the door that evening, he was in a good mood.
“Hey, babe,” he called out, dropping his keys on the counter. He spotted the paper almost immediately. “What’s this?”
I kept my face neutral, fighting the urge to laugh as I watched him pick it up. “Oh, it’s just a little list I put together for you,” I said sweetly, “to help you become the best husband ever.”
Jake chuckled, thinking I was playing along with his little game. But as he scanned the first few lines, the grin started to fade. I could see the wheels turning in his head, the slow realization that this wasn’t the lighthearted joke he thought it was.
“Wait… what is all this?” He squinted at the numbers, his eyes widening as he saw the total costs. “$1,200 for a personal trainer? $700 a month for groceries? What the hell, Lisa?”
I leaned against the kitchen island, crossing my arms.
“Well, you want me to wake up at 5 a.m., hit the gym, make gourmet breakfasts, clean the house, cook dinner, and host your friends. I figured we should budget for all of that, don’t you think?”
His face turned pale as he flipped through the pages. “$75,000 a year? You’re quitting your job?!”
I shrugged. “How else am I supposed to follow your plan? I can’t work and be the perfect wife, right?”
He stared at the paper, dumbfounded.
The numbers, the absurdity of his own demands, it all hit him at once. His smugness evaporated, replaced by a dawning realization that he had seriously, seriously messed up.
“I… I didn’t mean…” Jake stammered, looking at me with wide eyes. “Lisa, I didn’t mean for it to be like this. I just thought —”
Man Who Was Adopted 60 Years Ago Learns He Has 4 Carbon Copies
A 60-year-old man is shocked when a perfect stranger walks up to him in a restaurant and calls him a cheater — and discovers he has several siblings.
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Phillip Granger decided he must have one of those common faces because as far back as he could remember, people had been coming up to him and mistaking him for other men.
It wasn’t much of a consolation that his wife thought him handsome when everyone seemed to think he was commonplace. Things came to a head when Phillip was 60 years old and out to dinner with his wife.
Phillip and Mara were out to dinner celebrating a business deal that she’d pulled off at one of their favorite restaurants. He was holding his wife’s hand and leaning over to kiss her when a woman suddenly walked up to them.
“So you had to work tonight?” she screamed. “You had an emergency surgery? You CHEAT! We are over!” She dashed her glass of wine on Phillip’s face and walked off.
Phillip mopped up the red wine with his napkin and shook his head. “I’m sorry honey,” he said to Mara. “I don’t know what’s going on!” But Mara was on her feet and following the woman out of the restaurant.
Incredible things happen to ordinary people every day.
“Excuse me,” Mara said when she caught up with the woman. “Please, can you tell me what’s going on?”
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Phillip and his wife were having dinner when something extraordinary happened. | Source: Pexels
“Who are you?” the woman asked angrily. “His girlfriend?”
“No,” Mara replied. “I’m his wife.”
“He’s MARRIED?” the woman cried. “I swear it’s the last time I date a doctor! Dr. Ralf Gois! I should have known!”
“My husband’s name is Phillip Granger,” Mara said. “And he’s not a doctor.”
“You CHEAT! We are over!” | Source: Unsplash
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The woman looked embarrassed. “Oh my God!” she gasped. “But he looks EXACTLY like Ralf! Like a twin!” By the time the woman left, Mara had Dr. Ralf Gois’ phone number.
“Listen, Phil,” she said. “This is very strange. That woman said this Ralf looks exactly like you, like a twin. You were adopted, so maybe this guy IS your twin.”
Phillip was excited. He’d grown up in a loving home, but his life had always felt empty as if something was missing — and now the idea of a twin seemed to somehow ring a chime in his heart. That was what was missing! A sibling!
“He may be just a lookalike,” Phillip protested, but he allowed Mara to talk him into phoning Ralf and setting up a meeting. “Hello,” he said. “You don’t know me, my name is Phillip Granger, and I think we look alike…”
Phillip discovered he looked exactly like a man called Ralf Gois. | Source: Unsplash
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That very afternoon, Phil and Ralf met and it was like looking into a mirror. They were identical, and after a short conversation, they discovered that they were both adopted, born at the same hospital on the same day!
The two men couldn’t stop laughing and crying and hugging each other. Ralf had never married, his parents were deceased, and finding a brother was a dream come true.
Then Ralf said, “Hey Phil, we can find our mother! We were born at the hospital where I work, and I know they’ve put all their records into the computers…All I have to do is punch in our birth date!”
The two men rushed to the hospital where Ralf led his newfound twin to his office and accessed the hospital records. “Easy as pie,” he cried excitedly, then Phil saw his brother’s face turn white as snow.
At the hospital, Ralf accessed the birth records. | Source: Unsplash
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“Ralf?” he asked. “Are you OK? Did you find her?” Ralf looked up at Phil with huge glazed eyes and nodded dumbly. “Come on, what’s her name?” Phil cried impatiently.
“Janet Corbin,” he whispered. “But Phil…”
“That’s great!” Phil said grinning. “So what’s the problem?”
“There’s five of us…” Ralf gasped. “FIVE!”
They discovered that there were five of them. | Source: Unsplash
Phil and Ralf took a selfie together and put it on their Instagram accounts, told their story, and appealed to anyone who thought they looked like someone they knew to come forward: “Help us find our brothers!”
The messages flooded in and soon Ralf and Phil met Tom and Gordon — and their reunion was incredible. They were all identical! Mara told Phil that seeing him with his brothers made her feel dizzy.
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“Mara,” Phil said quietly. “I’ve never felt so happy or complete in my life — but there’s still one of us missing!”
The four brothers took another selfie and repeated their appeal, and by then, their story had gone national with TV stations calling them for interviews. Then one evening, the missing brother appeared, but he wasn’t alone.
The four brothers were having dinner when the doorbell rang | Source: Unsplash
Ralf, Phil, Tom, and Gordon were having dinner at Phil’s house when the doorbell rang and Mara got up to answer it. She came back with a huge smile on her face.
“Who was it?” asked Phil.
“Actually,” said Mara, “it’s you…” and she stepped aside so the four men could see the last quintuple, who was exactly like his brothers. “This is David…”
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David walked into the middle of his brothers, but he wasn’t alone. By his side was a tiny elderly woman. “This,” David said, “is mom.”
The quintuplets were reunited with their mother. | Source: Unsplash
The woman had tears in her eyes. “I’m Janet Corbin,” she said. “And I’m so sorry, so sorry…”
Janet explained that she’d been just 16 when she’d fallen pregnant, and when she gave birth to quintuplets, she was terrified.
Janet’s mother had pressured her into giving away four of the babies and keeping one to raise, and so she did — but she had never forgotten her sons. Now, after nearly sixty years, her family was reunited, and her sons were healed.
What can we learn from this story?
- Family is the most important thing in the world. Phillip had always felt that something was missing from his life until he found his brothers.
- Incredible things happen to ordinary people every day. Phil had never imagined something so extraordinary could happen to him — until it did!
Share this story with your friends. It might brighten their day and inspire them.
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