I was stunned when my husband, Jake, handed me a schedule to help me “become a better wife.” But instead of blowing up, I played along.Little did Jake know, I was about to teach him a lesson that would make him rethink his newfound approach to marriage.
I’ve always prided myself on being the level-headed one in our marriage. Jake, bless his heart, could get swept up in things pretty easily, whether it was a new hobby, or some random YouTube video that promised to change his life in three easy steps.
But we were solid until Jake met Steve. Steve was the type of guy who thought being loudly opinionated made him right, the type that talks right over you when you try to correct him.
He was also a perpetually single guy (who could have guessed?), who graciously dispensed relationship advice to all his married colleagues, Jake included. Jake should’ve known better, but my darling husband was positively smitten with Steve’s confidence.
I didn’t think much of it until Jake started making some noxious comments.
“Steve says relationships work best when the wife takes charge of the household,” he’d say. Or “Steve thinks it’s important for women to look good for their husbands, no matter how long they’ve been married.”
I’d roll my eyes and reply with some sarcastic remark, but it was getting under my skin. Jake was changing. He’d arch his eyebrows if I ordered takeout instead of cooking, and sigh when I let the laundry pile up because, God forbid, I had my own full-time job.
And then it happened. One night, he came home with The List.
He sat me down at the kitchen table, unfolded a piece of paper, and slid it across to me.
“I’ve been thinking,” he started, his voice dripping with a condescending tone I hadn’t heard from him before. “You’re a great wife, Lisa. But there’s room for improvement.”
My eyebrows shot up. “Oh really?”
He nodded, oblivious to the danger zone he was entering. “Yeah. Steve helped me realize that our marriage could be even better if you, you know, stepped up a bit.”
I stared at the paper in front of me. It was a schedule… and he’d written “Lisa’s Weekly Routine for Becoming a Better Wife” at the top in bold.
This guy had actually sat down and mapped out my entire week based on what Steve — a single guy with zero relationship experience — thought I should do to “improve” myself as a wife.
I was supposed to wake up at 5 a.m. every day to make Jake a gourmet breakfast. Then I’d hit the gym for an hour to “stay in shape.”
After that? A delightful lineup of chores: cleaning, laundry, ironing. And that was all before I left for work. I was supposed to cook a meal from scratch every evening and make fancy snacks for Jake and his friends when they came over to hang out at our place.
The whole thing was sexist and insulting on so many levels I didn’t even know where to start. I ended up staring at him, wondering if my husband had lost his mind.
“This will be great for you, and us,” he continued, oblivious.
“Steve says it’s important to maintain structure, and I think you could benefit from —”
“I could benefit from what?” I interrupted, my voice dangerously calm. Jake blinked, caught off guard by the interruption, but he recovered quickly.
“Well, you know, from having some guidance and a schedule.”
I wanted to throw that paper in his face and ask him if he’d developed a death wish. Instead, I did something that surprised even me: I smiled.
“You’re right, Jake,” I said sweetly. “I’m so lucky that you made me this schedule. I’ll start tomorrow.”
The relief on his face was instant. I almost felt sorry for him as I got up and stuck the list on the fridge. Almost. He had no idea what was coming.
The next day, I couldn’t help but smirk as I studied the ridiculous schedule again. If Jake thought he could hand me a list of “improvements,” then he was about to find out just how much structure our life could really handle.
I pulled out my laptop, opened up a fresh document, and titled it, “Jake’s Plan for Becoming the Best Husband Ever.” He wanted a perfect wife? Fine. But there was a cost to perfection.
I began by listing all the things he had suggested for me, starting with the gym membership he was so keen on. It was laughable, really.
“$1,200 for a personal trainer.” I typed, barely containing my giggle.
Next came the food. If Jake wanted to eat like a king, that wasn’t happening on our current grocery budget. Organic, non-GMO, free-range everything? That stuff didn’t come cheap.
“$700 per month for groceries,” I wrote. He’d probably need to chip in for a cooking class too. Those were pricey, but hey, perfection wasn’t free.
I leaned back in my chair, laughing to myself as I imagined Jake’s face when he saw this. But I wasn’t done. Oh no, the pièce de résistance was still to come.
See, there was no way I could juggle all these expectations while holding down my job. If Jake wanted me to dedicate myself full-time to his absurd routine, then he’d have to compensate for the loss of my income.
I pulled up a calculator, estimating the value of my salary. Then, I added it to the list, complete with a little note: “$75,000 per year to replace Lisa’s salary since she will now be your full-time personal assistant, maid, and chef.”
My stomach hurt from laughing at this point.
And just for good measure, I threw in a suggestion about him needing to expand the house. After all, if he was going to have his friends over regularly, they’d need a dedicated space that wouldn’t intrude on my newly organized, impossibly structured life.
“$50,000 to build a separate ‘man cave’ so Jake and his friends don’t disrupt Lisa’s schedule.”
By the time I was done, the list was a masterpiece. A financial and logistical nightmare, sure, but a masterpiece nonetheless. It wasn’t just a counterattack — it was a wake-up call.
I printed it out, set it neatly on the kitchen counter, and waited for Jake to come home. When he finally walked through the door that evening, he was in a good mood.
“Hey, babe,” he called out, dropping his keys on the counter. He spotted the paper almost immediately. “What’s this?”
I kept my face neutral, fighting the urge to laugh as I watched him pick it up. “Oh, it’s just a little list I put together for you,” I said sweetly, “to help you become the best husband ever.”
Jake chuckled, thinking I was playing along with his little game. But as he scanned the first few lines, the grin started to fade. I could see the wheels turning in his head, the slow realization that this wasn’t the lighthearted joke he thought it was.
“Wait… what is all this?” He squinted at the numbers, his eyes widening as he saw the total costs. “$1,200 for a personal trainer? $700 a month for groceries? What the hell, Lisa?”
I leaned against the kitchen island, crossing my arms.
“Well, you want me to wake up at 5 a.m., hit the gym, make gourmet breakfasts, clean the house, cook dinner, and host your friends. I figured we should budget for all of that, don’t you think?”
His face turned pale as he flipped through the pages. “$75,000 a year? You’re quitting your job?!”
I shrugged. “How else am I supposed to follow your plan? I can’t work and be the perfect wife, right?”
He stared at the paper, dumbfounded.
The numbers, the absurdity of his own demands, it all hit him at once. His smugness evaporated, replaced by a dawning realization that he had seriously, seriously messed up.
“I… I didn’t mean…” Jake stammered, looking at me with wide eyes. “Lisa, I didn’t mean for it to be like this. I just thought —”
Sir Elton John, 76, raises his two sons not to be spoiled as they already do chores for some pocket money
David Furnish, Sir Elton John’s spouse, and they have been together for more than 20 years. The couple is also raising their two boys, Zackary and Elijah, to be modest and aware of the worth of money.
Famed artist Sir Elton John has released thirty-two albums to far and shows no signs of slowing down. Even at seventy-three, the vocalist continues to be in high demand.
David Furnish and Sir Elton John in London in 2001 | Photo courtesy of Getty Images
Despite having a successful career for more than thirty years, the musician wants to concentrate on other areas of his life, such as his marriage to David Furnish and his two sons, Zachary and Elijah.
A brief romance blossomed between John and Furnish in 1993, before their lives got consumed with parenting their sons. The singer of “Sacrifice” announced that he had moved back into his Windsor home and was looking to socialize.
John then requested a friend to invite Furnish and other individuals to dinner, saying he felt an immediate connection with Furnish. John admired how well-groomed and reserved he was.
After going on a date the next day, the two’s long-term relationship officially started. After nine years of being in a civil partnership, they made the decision to tie the knot in 2014.
The pair used Instagram to send out invites. The highlight of the day was spending time with their sons, who had the important duty of serving as ring carriers.
Furnish and John found great joy in sharing their partnership with their children, particularly considering the difficult road they had to go to become parents. It all began in 2009 when they were acquainted at an HIV orphanage with a young boy from Ukraine named Lev.
Lev came from a shattered family, so the couple wanted to help him, but the government wouldn’t let it because he was too old. Still, the couple assisted Lev and spoke with him.
John came to the realization that he may be a father after meeting Lev. He acknowledged that he had always believed he was too old to have children. Zachary, their first son, was born in 2010 through a surrogate, and Elijah followed in 2013.
Bringing Up Children Outside of the Media
The couple desired to be actively involved with their children while leading a hectic lifestyle. “We don’t want to entrust housekeepers and nannies with raising our kids,” Furnish stated. The couple decided that having boys was the best course of action, and now their primary objective is to raise their sons in a happy and healthy environment.
John expressed to his sons in a touching letter how much they had altered his life. “You two are the best gifts I have ever received, Zachary and Elijah. In ways I never imagined imaginable, you have given my life meaning and purpose and filled my heart with love,” the singer added.
Furnish and John are content with the lovely family they have created. The love and support their children will always have from their parents is something they do not want them to forget as they grow older.
John talked candidly about how becoming a parent has altered his outlook on life and some of the values he and his spouse want their kids to grow up with.
John talked about how having children affected his attitude toward money. Having two children of his own now, he values his time with Zachary and Elijah more than a popular song or artwork.
The singer acknowledged that because he and Furnish were used to living as the center of attention, they had spent a lot of money before having children. However, John claimed that since their sons arrived, they had drastically cut back on their spending.
The couple’s current concern is ensuring that they own only what they require. Additionally, the couple has been instilling in their kids the importance of money and the labor required to acquire it.
Although John is aware that his kids have a privileged existence already, he still wishes they had humility. The artist has stated that he does not intend to leave them his whole estate as a result. Rather, he aims to strike a balance between providing his kids with a wonderful life and keeping them grounded. He thought to himself:
Naturally, I would like to leave my boys in a very secure financial situation. But giving children a silver spoon is a poor idea. Their lives is ruined by it.
John has attempted to instill in the boys an appreciation for money since they were young children. Zachary and Elijah may not have realized how well-known their parents were at the age of five and three, but John and Furnish did teach them a valuable lesson about budgeting.
The singer said in 2016 that doing chores around the house, such the kitchen or garden, would earn them £3 ($3.74) in pocket money. Each coin would then be divided between savings, spending, and charity. As they grew older, their responsibilities included tidying their rooms, and they received stars for each task completed.
Although the couple is aware that their children would not have a typical childhood, they nevertheless make an effort to give their lives some degree of normalcy. According to John, his children are “not stuck behind the gates of a mansion,” but rather live like locals.
When questioned if he was afraid of having his kids in the spotlight, he replied that he knew there would be drawbacks but that he didn’t mind at all because he thought people were “brilliant” and “not hostile,” especially when they wanted to see pictures of him and his family.
The musician and his spouse would take their kids to the movies or out for pizza because they want them to spend quality time with their family somewhere else than their mansion.
Because of his celebrity, John does not want to miss out on special times with his kids. The musician is also prompt in picking up and dropping off his youngsters at school.
Elton John Flaunts His Offspring
The “Rocket Man” singer posted a unique picture of Furnish, their sons, and their godmother, Lady Gaga, on social media, while John and his spouse typically don’t post any pictures of their sons online. The musician conveyed his love despite expressing his regret at missing the opportunity to picture with them.
On Elton John’s page, leave a remark | Source: Instagram/eltonjohn
Fans expressed disbelief at Zachary and Elijah’s growth in the comment section. “However, the boys are growing quite tall.” Very attractive tiny fellas, a commenter commented. Another admirer exclaimed, “Look at these gorgeous boys and their pappa and Godma!”
John expressed to his sons in a touching letter how much they had altered his life. “You two are the best gifts I have ever received, Zachary and Elijah. In ways I never imagined imaginable, you have given my life meaning and purpose and filled my heart with love,” the singer added.
Furnish and John are content with the lovely family they have created. The love and support their children will always have from their parents is something they do not want them to forget as they grow older.
Leave a Reply