I was stunned when my husband, Jake, handed me a schedule to help me “become a better wife.” But instead of blowing up, I played along.Little did Jake know, I was about to teach him a lesson that would make him rethink his newfound approach to marriage.
I’ve always prided myself on being the level-headed one in our marriage. Jake, bless his heart, could get swept up in things pretty easily, whether it was a new hobby, or some random YouTube video that promised to change his life in three easy steps.
But we were solid until Jake met Steve. Steve was the type of guy who thought being loudly opinionated made him right, the type that talks right over you when you try to correct him.
He was also a perpetually single guy (who could have guessed?), who graciously dispensed relationship advice to all his married colleagues, Jake included. Jake should’ve known better, but my darling husband was positively smitten with Steve’s confidence.
I didn’t think much of it until Jake started making some noxious comments.
“Steve says relationships work best when the wife takes charge of the household,” he’d say. Or “Steve thinks it’s important for women to look good for their husbands, no matter how long they’ve been married.”
I’d roll my eyes and reply with some sarcastic remark, but it was getting under my skin. Jake was changing. He’d arch his eyebrows if I ordered takeout instead of cooking, and sigh when I let the laundry pile up because, God forbid, I had my own full-time job.
And then it happened. One night, he came home with The List.
He sat me down at the kitchen table, unfolded a piece of paper, and slid it across to me.
“I’ve been thinking,” he started, his voice dripping with a condescending tone I hadn’t heard from him before. “You’re a great wife, Lisa. But there’s room for improvement.”
My eyebrows shot up. “Oh really?”
He nodded, oblivious to the danger zone he was entering. “Yeah. Steve helped me realize that our marriage could be even better if you, you know, stepped up a bit.”
I stared at the paper in front of me. It was a schedule… and he’d written “Lisa’s Weekly Routine for Becoming a Better Wife” at the top in bold.
This guy had actually sat down and mapped out my entire week based on what Steve — a single guy with zero relationship experience — thought I should do to “improve” myself as a wife.
I was supposed to wake up at 5 a.m. every day to make Jake a gourmet breakfast. Then I’d hit the gym for an hour to “stay in shape.”
After that? A delightful lineup of chores: cleaning, laundry, ironing. And that was all before I left for work. I was supposed to cook a meal from scratch every evening and make fancy snacks for Jake and his friends when they came over to hang out at our place.
The whole thing was sexist and insulting on so many levels I didn’t even know where to start. I ended up staring at him, wondering if my husband had lost his mind.
“This will be great for you, and us,” he continued, oblivious.
“Steve says it’s important to maintain structure, and I think you could benefit from —”
“I could benefit from what?” I interrupted, my voice dangerously calm. Jake blinked, caught off guard by the interruption, but he recovered quickly.
“Well, you know, from having some guidance and a schedule.”
I wanted to throw that paper in his face and ask him if he’d developed a death wish. Instead, I did something that surprised even me: I smiled.
“You’re right, Jake,” I said sweetly. “I’m so lucky that you made me this schedule. I’ll start tomorrow.”
The relief on his face was instant. I almost felt sorry for him as I got up and stuck the list on the fridge. Almost. He had no idea what was coming.
The next day, I couldn’t help but smirk as I studied the ridiculous schedule again. If Jake thought he could hand me a list of “improvements,” then he was about to find out just how much structure our life could really handle.
I pulled out my laptop, opened up a fresh document, and titled it, “Jake’s Plan for Becoming the Best Husband Ever.” He wanted a perfect wife? Fine. But there was a cost to perfection.
I began by listing all the things he had suggested for me, starting with the gym membership he was so keen on. It was laughable, really.
“$1,200 for a personal trainer.” I typed, barely containing my giggle.
Next came the food. If Jake wanted to eat like a king, that wasn’t happening on our current grocery budget. Organic, non-GMO, free-range everything? That stuff didn’t come cheap.
“$700 per month for groceries,” I wrote. He’d probably need to chip in for a cooking class too. Those were pricey, but hey, perfection wasn’t free.
I leaned back in my chair, laughing to myself as I imagined Jake’s face when he saw this. But I wasn’t done. Oh no, the pièce de résistance was still to come.
See, there was no way I could juggle all these expectations while holding down my job. If Jake wanted me to dedicate myself full-time to his absurd routine, then he’d have to compensate for the loss of my income.
I pulled up a calculator, estimating the value of my salary. Then, I added it to the list, complete with a little note: “$75,000 per year to replace Lisa’s salary since she will now be your full-time personal assistant, maid, and chef.”
My stomach hurt from laughing at this point.
And just for good measure, I threw in a suggestion about him needing to expand the house. After all, if he was going to have his friends over regularly, they’d need a dedicated space that wouldn’t intrude on my newly organized, impossibly structured life.
“$50,000 to build a separate ‘man cave’ so Jake and his friends don’t disrupt Lisa’s schedule.”
By the time I was done, the list was a masterpiece. A financial and logistical nightmare, sure, but a masterpiece nonetheless. It wasn’t just a counterattack — it was a wake-up call.
I printed it out, set it neatly on the kitchen counter, and waited for Jake to come home. When he finally walked through the door that evening, he was in a good mood.
“Hey, babe,” he called out, dropping his keys on the counter. He spotted the paper almost immediately. “What’s this?”
I kept my face neutral, fighting the urge to laugh as I watched him pick it up. “Oh, it’s just a little list I put together for you,” I said sweetly, “to help you become the best husband ever.”
Jake chuckled, thinking I was playing along with his little game. But as he scanned the first few lines, the grin started to fade. I could see the wheels turning in his head, the slow realization that this wasn’t the lighthearted joke he thought it was.
“Wait… what is all this?” He squinted at the numbers, his eyes widening as he saw the total costs. “$1,200 for a personal trainer? $700 a month for groceries? What the hell, Lisa?”
I leaned against the kitchen island, crossing my arms.
“Well, you want me to wake up at 5 a.m., hit the gym, make gourmet breakfasts, clean the house, cook dinner, and host your friends. I figured we should budget for all of that, don’t you think?”
His face turned pale as he flipped through the pages. “$75,000 a year? You’re quitting your job?!”
I shrugged. “How else am I supposed to follow your plan? I can’t work and be the perfect wife, right?”
He stared at the paper, dumbfounded.
The numbers, the absurdity of his own demands, it all hit him at once. His smugness evaporated, replaced by a dawning realization that he had seriously, seriously messed up.
“I… I didn’t mean…” Jake stammered, looking at me with wide eyes. “Lisa, I didn’t mean for it to be like this. I just thought —”
A Sales Assistant Told My Wife She Wasn’t ‘Attractive Enough’ to Work in Their Store — I Came Back a Few Days Later to Get the Ultimate Revenge
A store assistant dared to bring MY wife to tears by being mean. She did that all because my spouse sought employment at the establishment she worked at. After hearing my wife’s tale, I took action to redress the situation. What I did ensured that the assistant would think twice when addressing anyone else!
This is an exciting tale about pure and sweet revenge! My name is Thomas, and Emma, my wife, has ALWAYS had an eye for fashion. Her wardrobe is a testament to her impeccable taste. Not that I am biased or showing off, but my Emma knows all there is to know about the latest trends!
I mean, most days, she’s the one who dresses me. No, not because I am sexist and think it’s her job, but because she LOVES doing that. And to be honest, I look FANTASTIC each time, so I’m NOT complaining!
For years, my wife skirted around her true passion. She did all sorts of jobs. Like being a receptionist, and a nurse at one point (sadly short-lived), and even dabbled in art. But she still couldn’t find her place.
Recently, my beloved wife decided to turn her passion for fashion (see what I did there) into a career. She started actively searching for a job in retail. Her thinking was that it would fit perfectly with her interests.
When she got home all emotional one day, she told me the story of what happened. Emma explained that on that fateful day, she was at the shopping center in the afternoon. She then noticed a famous lingerie store with a “Now Hiring” poster on the window.
Excited, she revealed, “I immediately went inside to inquire! But boy, was I in for the shock of my life.” She shared how her excitement started dying down when she approached the sales assistant and tried to speak to her.
The rude woman didn’t even glance my wife’s way until she was DIRECTLY in front of her! A bit down but still quite enthusiastic, Emma asked about the job application process. Instead, the assistant looked her up and down with a sneer and an attitude. Then she delivered the stinging words:
“Look, hun, I don’t think you’re pretty enough for this job. NO CHANCE. Don’t even try, okay?”
Before calming down enough to be able to tell me her story, my lovely wife was in tears when she came home. She was heartbroken by the cruel remark. I’ve never seen my wife so utterly devastated before, and my heart broke seeing her that way.
I wrapped my arms around her, trying to console her. “My love, don’t let her get to you. You’re beautiful and talented. You’re worth so much more than her words,” I said softly. “But why would she say that?” Emma sobbed. “I just wanted to apply for a job. I didn’t deserve that.”
“She’s a small-minded person, my angel,” I tried consoling my wife. Seeing her so dejected made me FURIOUS! No one, and I mean NOBODY, should make my Emma feel this way, treat her that badly, and get away with it!
And you know what? As anger took over me, I figured it was high time someone showed that nasty assistant how wrong she was! I decided to give that sales assistant a lesson in humility she would NEVER forget!
Over the next couple of days, I concocted a plan. I reached out to my friend Mike, who works in the fashion industry, to get his help. Mike was more than willing to assist when he heard what had happened.
“That’s unbelievable, man. Of course, I’ll help. Let’s give her a taste of her own medicine,” Mike said over the phone. A few days later, my plan was set in motion. I dressed well, with the help of my Emma, and headed back to the lingerie store.
I had done my research enough to make sure the same sales assistant was working on that day. I then started pretending to browse the aisles, waiting for the perfect moment. When the store had only a few customers, I approached the assistant with a friendly smile.
“Hello, I’m looking to buy something special for my wife. Could you help me pick out a few things?” I asked. Her attitude changed immediately, seeing a potential big sale. She became attentive and started showing me various items.
“Absolutely, sir! We have a fantastic selection. What’s the occasion?” she asked, her tone now sweet as we went around the store. “Just a surprise for my wife. I want to get her something really special,” I replied, pretending to be thoughtful.
“Great! How about this piece? It’s one of our most popular items,” she suggested, holding up a delicate lace set. “Do you think this would look good on her?” I asked, examining the lingerie. “Oh, definitely! It’s one of our best sellers. Your wife will love it,” she assured me.
“Can you show me a few more options? I want to make sure I get the perfect one,” I said, keeping her engaged. As she showed me more pieces, I made small talk to keep her invested. “So, how long have you been working here?” I inquired.
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