Every time my parents-in-law visited, my sassy MIL took over our bedroom, shoving my things aside and lighting her signature candles. One day, I decided enough was enough! I devised a plan that would leave her begging for the guest room.
I watched the clock tick down with dread, knowing that in exactly 17 minutes, Hurricane Monica would make landfall.
A woman staring at something | Source: Midjourney
My mother-in-law wasn’t just visiting — she was invading, and my master bedroom was always her first conquest.
“They’re early,” my husband Jake muttered, peering through the living room blinds.
The familiar silver sedan pulled into our driveway ten minutes ahead of schedule. Of course, they were early. Monica never played by the rules.
A house with a driveway | Source: Pexels
I smoothed my shirt and plastered on what I hoped was a convincing smile.
“Ready for the storm?” I asked.
Jake squeezed my hand. “We’ve weathered worse.”
But had we?
A woman looking out a window | Source: Midjourney
For five years, I’d watched Monica march straight into our bedroom and dump her dirty luggage on our bed.
She shoved our toiletries aside or tossed them into the bathroom cabinet so she could scatter her makeup and perfumes everywhere.
She lit scented candles without asking, and left behind heavy scents and even oily stains from her “relaxing oils.”
Essential oils in a case | Source: Pexels
The memory of last Christmas still stung, when I’d found my jewelry box emptied into a drawer because she “needed the space.”
She also shoved my books under the bed, and always left our room messier than she found it.
The doorbell rang, and Jake opened it with practiced enthusiasm. “Mom! Dad! Great to see you!”
A front door | Source: Pexels
Monica swept in like royalty, air-kissing both of Jake’s cheeks before giving me a once-over that somehow made me feel both invisible and scrutinized.
Her husband Frank trailed behind, carrying their luggage and looking as passive as ever.
“Always lovely to see you both,” she remarked airily. “Won’t you brew some coffee while we get settled? Traveling is so tiring.”
A woman speaking to someone | Source: Midjourney
Before I could respond, she was already halfway down the hall. I shot Jake a desperate look, and he nodded — a silent promise to intervene.
But we both knew he wouldn’t keep it. Jake was a lion in every aspect of life except when it came to his mother.
“Mom,” he called after her, voice weaker than intended, “we’ve set up the guest room for you this time.”
A hallway in a house | Source: Midjourney
Monica paused, turned, and smiled the way a cat might smile at a cornered mouse. “Oh, that’s sweet, but you know how my back gets on those guest beds. You young people can handle it.”
And with that, she continued her march toward our bedroom.
I’d tried everything over the years. First came gentle hints: “The guest room has a better view.” Then direct requests: “We’d prefer to keep our room private.”
A serious woman in a living room | Source: Midjourney
Each attempt was met with dismissal.
“Stop being dramatic; it’s just a room,” she’d snap.
“Maybe if you had better guest rooms, we wouldn’t need yours,” she’d suggested once, as if our three-bedroom house existed solely for her bi-annual visits.
A woman in a kitchen | Source: Midjourney
For years, I swallowed my pride.
I’d strip our bedroom of anything truly private, surrender the space, and spend their visits feeling like a guest in my own home. Jake would whisper apologies in the guest room each night, promising to talk to her “next time.”
But something in me had finally snapped.
A stern-looking woman | Source: Midjourney
Last night, I’d called Monica and told her clearly, “WE’VE SET UP THE GUEST ROOM FOR YOU. IT’S CLEAN, COZY, AND PRIVATE. WE’RE KEEPING OUR BEDROOM TO OURSELVES.”
“We’ll see when we get there, dear,” she’d said. Her voice dripped with condescension, a promise of future defiance.
So I’d prepared a little surprise for her, just in case.
A woman smirking | Source: Pexels
“There’s a new mattress on the guest bed. You really will be more comfortable there,” I called after Monica (it was a warning, but she couldn’t have known that at the time).
Then I rushed out the door to get to work.
When I returned home later, it was no surprise to find that Monica had colonized our bedroom. Her suitcase was splayed open on our bed, clothes already hanging in my closet.
Suitcases on a bed | Source: Pexels
The familiar scent of her heavy floral perfume saturated the air, mixing with the three scented candles she’d lit. My skincare products had been shoved aside to make room for her extensive collection.
When I appeared in the doorway, Monica stood proudly amid the chaos.
“The guest room gets too much morning sun,” she declared without apology. “It’s better for young people like you to adjust. We’re staying here.”
A woman standing in a bedroom | Source: Midjourney
Everything was going according to plan.
“Of course,” I said sweetly. “Whatever makes you comfortable.”
Confusion flashed across her face. She’d been prepared for resistance, not surrender.
That evening, we had a tense dinner where Monica criticized my cooking (a bit too spicy), my wine choice (somewhat acidic), and our dishware (charming, in a rustic way).
A table set for dinner | Source: Pexels
I met each barb with a serene smile that grew more genuine as the evening progressed. Jake kept shooting me questioning glances, but I just squeezed his hand under the table.
Later, as Monica and Frank settled into our bedroom, Jake and I retreated to the guest room.
“What’s going on?” he whispered. “You’re being weirdly calm about all this.”
A frowning man | Source: Midjourney
I slipped under the covers. “Let’s just say I made some preparations.”
“What kind of preparations?” His eyes widened with concern.
“Nothing illegal,” I assured him. “Just a little lesson in boundaries.”
We fell asleep to the sound of Monica’s television blaring through the walls — another of her charming habits.
A couple in bed | Source: Pexels
The next morning, I woke early to make coffee, humming as I arranged breakfast pastries on a plate. Jake joined me, still puzzled by my good mood but willing to play along.
At precisely 7:43 a.m., Monica stormed into the kitchen looking like she’d seen a ghost.
Her face was ashen, her lips pressed into a thin line, and her movements stiff with what could only be described as pure mortification. Frank shuffled behind her, staring intensely at the floor.
A distressed man | Source: Midjourney
She didn’t touch the coffee I offered. She didn’t meet anyone’s eyes.
After an unbearable silence that seemed to stretch into eternity, she finally spoke, each word forced out like it physically hurt.
“We’ll take the guest room. Please.”
A woman peering over her glasses | Source: Pexels
I tilted my head, the picture of innocence. “Oh? I thought you loved the master bedroom?”
Monica flinched visibly. “We changed our minds.”
Jake, who had been taking a bite of toast, suddenly started coughing, clearly trying to suppress laughter.
I patted his back a bit harder than necessary.
A person holding a slice of toast | Source: Pexels
“The guest room gets that lovely morning light,” I continued pleasantly. “And I just changed the sheets. I can help you move your things if you’d like.”
“No!” Monica said, too quickly. “No, thank you. We can manage.”
They excused themselves and hurried back toward the bedroom, where they spent the next hour quietly transferring their belongings to the guest room.
A bedroom | Source: Pexels
I caught glimpses of Monica’s face: still haunted, still unable to make eye contact.
That evening, after Monica and Frank had retreated early to the guest room, Jake finally cornered me in the kitchen.
“Okay, what exactly did you do?” he whispered, equal parts horrified and impressed.
A man looking at someone | Source: Midjourney
I grinned. “Remember that shopping trip I took to that specialty store downtown?”
His eyes widened. “You didn’t.”
“I did. Plus a few things from a website with overnight delivery.” I beckoned to Jake with my finger. “I’ll show you.”
A man staring at someone | Source: Midjourney
I barely held back my giggles as I showed Jake the lacy, barely-there lingerie I’d tucked beneath the pillows and the adult toys I’d “accidentally” left in the en-suite bathroom.
“Oh my God,” he breathed, the blood draining from his face.
“There’s more,” I whispered.
A woman with a smug smile | Source: Midjourney
While our bedroom might have looked normal at first glance, I’d secretly placed massage oils, some interesting leather accessories, and items that required batteries throughout the room and bathroom.
I’d even filled our TV queue with titles that would make a sailor blush.
Jake’s mouth opened and closed several times before he managed to speak. “My mother saw all this?”
A TV in a bedroom | Source: Pexels
“Every. Single. Piece.” I couldn’t help the satisfaction in my voice. “I figured if she wanted our most private space, she should understand exactly how private it is.”
He was quiet for a moment, then burst into laughter so loud I had to shush him.
“You’re evil,” he gasped between breaths. “Absolutely evil. And brilliant.”
A man staring at someone | Source: Midjourney
The rest of their visit passed in blessed peace.
Monica and Frank stayed firmly within the boundaries of the guest room. When they left three days later, Monica hugged me stiffly at the door.
“The guest room was quite comfortable after all,” she said tightly.
“I’m so glad,” I replied as I stepped back. “It’s yours whenever you visit.”
A woman speaking to someone | Source: Midjourney
As their car pulled away, Jake wrapped his arm around my waist. “You know she’s probably traumatized for life.”
“Good,” I said, leaning into him. “So was I, every time she invaded our space.”
That night, I slipped into bed with the satisfaction of a battle well won.
A woman relaxing in bed | Source: Pexels
Some might call it petty revenge, but I called it a necessary education in boundaries.
And judging by the text Jake received the next day saying they booked a hotel for Christmas, the lesson had stuck. Permanently.
What’s this object called?
Answers from the Community
- Trench lighter – I’ve got one from my father. It was often made from spent rounds with a few modifications to create a lighter. I had a .20 caliber case with an old threepenny coin soldered in the base, which was also a lighter.
- Army lighter that lights in the wind while covering the flame to avoid getting your face shot off.
- It is a lighter, but it might be a replica.
- It’s a miniature nuclear bomb hand grenade. DON’T pull the pin!
- Looks like a copy of an Austrian 1920s IMCO windproof lighter.
- Looks like a bobbin for an old treadle sewing machine.
- It’s a lighter – I’ve got one made of brass.
- Windless lighter – hard to find parts for it, but worth the effort to make it work. Awesome find!
- Miniature German hand grenade used by trained suicide ferrets in WWI. They ran up your pants leg and detonated at a critical junction, thus damaging many Privates’ privates.
- Military torchlight for when you can’t light campfires.
- I haven’t seen one of those in a long time.
- Trench lighter from WWII.
- Windproof lighter.
- I have one and it’s a lighter.
- It’s a coconut, duh.
- Prototype proto pipe.
- Steampunk suppository.
- Fire starter, flint.
- A vintage lightsaber.
- A vibrator from 1890.
The WW1 Trench Lighter: A Piece of History
The WW1 Trench Lighter stands as an iconic piece of history, highlighting the ingenuity born out of necessity during wartime. Soldiers in the trenches of World War I needed a reliable way to light their cigarettes or pipes amidst harsh conditions. Traditional lighters often failed in the wet and muddy environment of the trenches.
The Invention
Enter the Trench Lighter. This simple yet effective device, typically made of metal, featured a hinged mechanism that protected the flame from wind or rain. Soldiers could easily ignite it with one hand, keeping the other hand free.
Craftsmanship and Resourcefulness
These lighters were often crafted from spent bullet casings or other scrap materials found on the battlefield. This showcased the resourcefulness of soldiers. Beyond their primary function of providing light and fire, they became cherished keepsakes, serving as tangible reminders of wartime experiences.
Collector’s Item
Today, WW1 Trench Lighters are sought after by collectors and history enthusiasts, offering a tangible connection to the soldiers who once carried them.
The Trench Lighter’s Legacy
Also known as a “pipe lighter” or “pocket lighter,” the WW1 Trench Lighter holds a unique place in military history. Born from the needs of trench warfare, these lighters were not just functional tools but also symbolic artifacts of soldierly resilience and innovation.
Design and Durability
Typically crafted from brass, steel, or other durable metals, the Trench Lighter consisted of a tubular casing with a hinged lid protecting the flame. Inside, a flint and striking wheel mechanism produced a spark, igniting the fuel reservoir.
Adaptability
Designed to withstand the damp, muddy, and windy environment of the trenches, the hinged lid shielded the flame and prevented fuel loss, ensuring reliable ignition even in adverse weather.
Sentimental Value
Many soldiers crafted their own lighters using readily available materials, adding a personal touch. Engraved initials, regimental insignia, or other markings often adorned these lighters, transforming them into cherished mementos of camaraderie, hardship, and survival.
Enduring Legacy
Though the heyday of Trench Lighters ended with WWI, their legacy endures. Today, these vintage lighters are prized by collectors and history enthusiasts, offering a tangible link to the past.
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