My husband and I bought our granddaughter a wedding gift from her registry. She reached out and accused us of being cheap after getting the wedding present. Now, she is upset and threatens to cut us off because we didn’t give her the cash gift that we presented to each of our grandkids a day before their wedding.
An elderly couple | Source: Getty Images
I’m in my 70s, a proud grandmother to five amazing grandkids: three women and two men. I adore my grandkids and often show up for them emotionally and financially. Whenever they have celebrations or hard times, they know that they can count on me.
Grandparents with their grown grandkids | Source; Getty Images
The youngest of grandkids, Eloise, got married last October. My husband, who is also in his 70s, and I have a tradition for our grandkids. We buy a small gift from the wedding registry, usually the cheapest item, and then, the day before the wedding, we give them a check for $40,000.
We hope they’ll use it for a house, but it’s ultimately their choice. We also ask them to keep it a secret, considering our large family. Until now, everyone has respected this request.
Happy young woman opening a gift | Source: Getty Images
This time, we sent an air fryer to our youngest granddaughter, the cheapest thing on her registry. Eloise called us, livid, accusing us of being cheap. I remember picking up her call and she didn’t even say hi, she just started ranting, “Seriously, Grandma? I just got your gift. An air fryer? That’s the cheapest thing you could find on my registry!”
Woman rejecting a gift | Source: Getty Images
I was taken aback because as much as the air fryer was the cheapest on their registry, I still thought it’d be useful to them, so I told her that. Eloise kept on complaining, “Useful? Come on, you know you can do better than that. Everyone knows you have the money. I just can’t believe you’d be this cheap with me. It’s embarrassing.”
An air fryer | Source: Getty Images
In this heated moment, I told her, “Yes, you’re right. We are cheap, old, and useless. The only thing you DIDN’T know is that the day before the wedding, we were going to gift you a check for $40,000.”
Woman disappointed by a gift | Source: Getty Images
I revealed this in an attempt to explain to Eloise about the cash gift we usually give our grandkids before the wedding but she was so angry at this point, that she wasn’t listening to a thing I said. I speculated that maybe she didn’t believe we would gift her such an amount of money after only buying her an air fryer.
Eventually, she said, “No, it’s clear. You just don’t love me enough to show it. You know how much pressure I’m under with the wedding. And then, this? It’s like you don’t even care,” then she hung up.
Disappointed elderly couple | Source: Getty Images
Despite my husband and I’s shock at Eloise’s reaction, we then bought her a China set, hoping to appease her, but decided against giving her the $40,000, feeling she hadn’t earned it.
Fast forward to last week. Eloise talked to her brother and found out that we were telling her the truth about the money. After confirming it with her cousins, she, called again, accusing us of discrimination, “I just found out that it’s true you gave the money to everyone else when they got married. Why didn’t I get anything?”
A cash gift | source: Getty Images
We stood firm, explaining our stance was due to her initial reaction, “We felt after your reaction to the wedding gift, it wasn’t right to go ahead and gift you the money.” Eloise pleaded trying to convince us otherwise, “So, you’re punishing me? Is that it? Because I was upset about an air fryer?”
Woman throwing tantrums | Source: Getty Images
I was angry that she didn’t even understand what she did wrong. “It wasn’t about the air fryer, Eloise. It was how you spoke to us, the disrespect. That’s not something we expected or can support,” I explained.
Bewildered elderly woman on phone | Source: Getty Images
Eloise implored us, nearly in tears, “But that’s so unfair! I was stressed, Grandma. Planning a wedding is hard, and I just snapped. I didn’t mean any of it.” I felt like she should have only apologized to us instead of finding excuses to justify her behavior.
However, I told her, “We understand that it’s a stressful time, but actions and words have consequences. We hoped you’d understand the value of family and love over material things.” Full of desperation, Eloise added, “But you don’t understand! Can’t we just forget all this happened? I need that money, Grandma.”
Young woman holding back tears on phone | Source: Getty Images
She pleaded, threatened to boycott Christmas, and accused us of cutting her off but we didn’t budge. In the end, I expressed, “We love you very much. This has nothing to do with cutting you off. We just hope you’ll reflect on this and understand why we made our decision.”
Woman showing threatening finger | Source: Getty Images
Now, Eloise has followed up on her threat and she’s boycotting Christmas. Her mother, who is our daughter-in-law, is siding with her, calling us unreasonable. However, we feel that after all we have done for Eloise, the air fryer gift, shouldn’t have triggered this reaction.
Bewildered elderly couple | Source: Getty Images
For context, we had already paid for her college, and her parents covered her graduate school and half the wedding. Additionally, she and her husband are financially comfortable and do not desperately need our money.
We’re also not upset with our grandkids for revealing the cash gift since she is among the group of family members who are allowed to know about it. Our reason for sending the air fryer earlier was that we live far away, so we always send our gifts early.
Elderly couple enjoying family time | Source: Getty Images
The wedding gift is also separate from the money, which we give with the hope it will be used for something significant, like a home. Now, we feel like the action we took towards Eloise was well deserved and we are not going back on our decisions even if she and her mom threaten to do their worst.
Despite the tumultuous events and Eloise’s refusal to understand our perspective, my husband and I stand by our decision. Love and respect in our family are paramount, and we hoped this situation would be a learning experience for her.
Elderly couple with family on Christmas | Source: Getty Images
The holidays might be quieter this year with her family’s absence, but our hope is for healing and understanding in the future. Our door and hearts remain open to Eloise, whenever she’s ready to mend fences.
Ron Howard calls wife ‘good luck charm,’ shares secret to 49-year marriage
“Remember how we always said, ‘You can do it if you want, but you don’t have to?’ Well if you start this, you can’t quit’,” said Howard, recalling a conversation he had with his parents decades before. “You don’t have to do other parts on other shows, if you don’t want, but you’d have to keep doing this one.”
Explaining that he understood the message his parents were delivering, Howard adds, “I think it was pretty clear at that point that I was enjoying it, and I was good at it.”
Actually, he was great at it, and he was about to reach a level of stratospheric stardom.
Howard’s ‘Happy Days’
While starring in The Andy Griffith Show, Howard also appeared on the big screen in 1962’s The Music Man, a musical film that was a huge commercial success.
A natural talent, he then starred in 1973’s American Graffiti, which also starred Harrison Ford, Richard Dreyfuss and Cindy Williams, whom he would work alongside in the future.
It was in 1974 when he was cast as Richie Cunningham in a new series created by Garry Marshall called Happy Days, which appeared on TV screens in homes across the world from 1974 to 1984.
The TV show spawned a few popular spin-offs like Laverne & Shirley, starring Williams and Marshall’s sister Penny, and Mork & Mindy with Robin Williams as Mork, the favorite Orkan.
High school sweetheart
It was in 1970 – before he won a Golden Globe for his performance as the innocent teenager on Happy Days – that Howard met the high school sweetheart, Cheryl Alley, whom he would marry in 1975.
“I met her, and there was never anybody else,” Speaking with People, the director of the Da Vinci Code continued, “She’s unbelievably supportive and always has been. Our compatibility has endured through all kinds of experiences.”
After 50 years of shared experiences, Howard, who earned an Oscar for directing A Beautiful Mind, commemorated the 50th anniversary of his first date with Cheryl on Instagram.
“Nov 1 1970 Cheryl & I went on our 1st date,” he wrote alongside a photo of himself wearing socks with images of Cheryl’s face. “We went to see a re-release of Stanley Kramer’s It’s a Mad Mad Mad World and then got some pizza at now defunct Barnone’s in Toluca Lake. Quite a start, right?”
He also shared their plans that day, “We’ll be driving in the same ‘70 VW Bug I picked Cheryl up in 5 decades ago. It runs great. So do we.”
His ‘good luck charm’
Cheryl made several cameos in Howard’s projects and even played herself on the TV comedy series Arrested Development, produced and narrated by Howard.
Speaking with the Television Academy, Ron called Cheryl his “good luck charm,” and explained that is why she appears in every film he makes.
“At a certain point, I became very superstitious about making sure that she appears, that she’s at least identifiable in one frame,” he said. “They don’t have to be big cameos, but she’s gotta be in there.”
In addition to bringing her husband some luck, Cheryl is also a published author who holds a bachelor’s degree in psychology and a master’s degree in screenwriting.
The power couple are grandparents to six children and the parents of four, daughter Bryce, twins Paige and Jocelyn and son Reed.
Bryce – a recognizable actor – is known for roles in movies like Jurassic World and The Help, while Paige made her feature film debut in the 2009 movie Adventureland. Since she’s appeared in films The Employer and Collection.
Reed is a professional golfer and Paige’s twin sister Jocelyn is very private.
The secret to longevity
Nearing their 49th anniversary on June 7, the Emmy Award-winning producer shares that “communication” is the secret to their enduring love.
“People say, ‘How’d you do it?’ There’s no technique,” Howard tells People. “There’s no tactic, other than communication is really important. You have to learn to communicate and have difficult conversations in constructive ways. Beyond that, there’s an element of luck because people either grow together or they don’t and I don’t think you can force that.”
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