Jake and Mary Jacobs marked their 70th anniversary of a happy marriage last year, but their journey wasn’t simple.
Mary, who is White, and Jake, who is Black, lived in the same city in 1940s Britain. At that time, there weren’t many Black men there.
Even though Mary’s father told her to leave, Mary chose love over easy choices.
“When I told my father I was going to marry Jake, he said, ‘If you marry that man, you will never set foot in this house again.’”
Mary and Jake first met at a technical college where Mary was learning typing and shorthand, and Jake was undergoing Air Force training. They met during the war when Jake moved from Trinidad to Britain.
Jake impressed Mary with his understanding of Shakespeare, and they got to know each other. One day, they invited Mary and her friend to join them for a picnic. Unfortunately, someone passing by saw them and reported Mary to her father. The woman was shocked to see two English girls talking with black guys. After this incident, Mary wasn’t allowed to visit her father again.
After Jake returned to Trinidad, they kept in touch through letters. A few years later, he came back to the U.K. to find a better-paying job.
Jake surprised Mary by proposing, and she, at 19, said yes. However, when she told her family, they kicked her out.
“I left with only one small suitcase. No family came to our registry office wedding in 1948.”
Mary’s father was upset about her marrying a black man, and Mary didn’t realize that society felt the same way.
The early years of their marriage in Birmingham were tough. Mary cried every day, hardly ate, and they faced many challenges. Nobody would talk to them, they couldn’t find a place to live because nobody would rent to a black man, and they had little money.
Even walking down the street together was hard because people would point at them, Mary explained.
Mary and Jake were excited to become parents, but at eight months, Mary gave birth to a stillborn child. She mentioned it wasn’t due to the stress she was under, but it deeply saddened them, and they didn’t have any more children.
As time passed, their lives improved. Mary became a teacher and eventually an assistant principal, while Jake found a job with the Post Office. They made new friends, but Mary felt the need to explain to people that her husband was black before introducing them.
“My father passed away when I was 30, and even though we reconciled by then, he never approved of Jake,” she shared.
Currently, Jake, 89, and Mary, 84, live in Solihull, a town south of Birmingham. They recently celebrated 70 years of marriage.
Jake said he has no regrets, but he also mentioned that today’s black youth may not fully understand the challenges he faced in 1940s Britain.
“When I arrived in the U.K., I faced abuse every day. Once, on a bus, a man rubbed his hands on my neck and said, ‘I wanted to see if the dirt would come off.’ Back then, working in an office as a black man with white girls wasn’t considered safe,” Jake explained.
Despite all the challenges, bias, and abuse, the pair is still deeply in love and has no regrets about being married. They have been happily married for more than 70 years.
These two are a true inspiration, and I wish them a lifetime of pleasure because of the love they have for one another.
Dad & fiancée exclude his daughter from their wedding after she bought a dress & shoes for it
Reddit is the place where people share stories of their life and ask fellow redditors for advice and opinion on the decision they make.
A teenage girl recently shared that her dad and his wife-to-be excluded her from their wedding and she explained the reasons behind that heartbreaking decision.
“I (f18) was always pretty close to my dad. Closer to my mom but I often visited my dad (about 3-4 times a week). A few years ago he started dating “Anna”. Anna and I always got along when my dad proposed I was happy Anna seemed like she would be a great stepmom,” she started her post.
OP said that she was overly excited and was looking forward to the wedding. She bought a dress and shoes, but then her dad told her that he and his fiancée needed to talk to her about something important.
“Well a few weeks before the wedding after I had bought everything (dress, shoes, etc) my dad and Anna said they needed to “talk to me” Anna and my dad decided to have a child free wedding which I get especially for young kids.
“Well turns out child-free means no one under 18. On the day of the wedding, I was still going to be 17 so, therefore, I’m not allowed to be at the wedding because Anna wants to stay true to the child-free rule even for the daughter of the groom and her about-to-be stepdaughter.”
Devastated, OP told her mom what her dad and Anna said to her. The mom was as heartbroken as her daughter and decided to take her on vacation so that she cheer up. At the same time, the mom told the rest of the family what her ex-husband did to their daughter. Understandably, most of them were shocked and angry.
Later, OP posted birthday pictures on Facebook and wrote, “I’m so glad my dad and Anna didn’t allow me at their wedding since I was under 18; I feel more mature since yesterday.”
“The family was freaking out asking if that was true and bashing my dad and Anna. I later got a bunch of texts from my dad and Anna calling me immature and a selfish brat and that’s why I was too immature to be at a wedding. I was talking to some friends and they said I was kinda an AH for doing that and I should have just let it go.”
Fellow redditors shared their opinions and agreed that OP wasn’t an AH for telling the family what her dad did to her.
“NTA. What kind of man doesn’t have his own child at his wedding? Anyway, they made the choice, if they believe it was the right choice they should have no issue about it being publicly known. Plus, people might well assume you weren’t there because you disapproved of his new wife or chose a vacation instead. Ensuring people know WHY you weren’t there saves your own reputation,” one person commented.
“The no children was made for you. I’m sorry but let that sink in. She made that rule to keep you out. You now know where you stand in their marriage…you don’t. I’m so sorry. NTA. I personally think it was EPIC. Harsh but epic. They deserved more than that. I would even update it with pictures of their texts,” another added.
A third wrote, “I can’t help but wonder if she purposefully pick a date before OP birthday just so she couldn’t go. If the dad & step-mom wanted to make it child free but make sure OP was there they could have made sure the date was AFTER OP birthday but to make it just 2 days before….. nah they didn’t want her there & was just trying to use that as an excuse.”
We believe the dad was not right for excluding his own daughter from the wedding.
What are your thoughts on this?
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