Cara Brookins was left emotionally broken when her second abusive marriage ended. She got well by building her own house, which she did after seeing YouTube videos on how to do it.
The mother of four started looking for a new house in 2007 after being forced to sell the Bryant, Arkansas, home she and her soon-to-be ex shared. At the moment, though, anything the computer programmer analyst could afford was too tiny. Brookins too felt obliged to take action to bring her family back together. She admits, “But I had no idea what that should be.”
Brookins, therefore, came up with the idea to build her own house from the ground up. According to Brookins, 45, “If anyone was in our situation, they wouldn’t do this.” “No one else viewed it this way, and now that I think about it, I understand it sounds crazy.”
One acre of property cost Brookins $20,000, and she obtained a building credit for about $150,000. She then started watching YouTube tutorials to learn how to do things like run a gas line, build a wall, lay a foundation, and install plumbing.
Her children, ages 2 to 17, helped her throughout the nine-month construction of the 3,500-square-foot home. At the time, Drew, who was 15 years old, helped Brookins make the preparations. Jada, who was 11 at the time, transported water from a neighbor’s pond using buckets because there was no running water on the property. She then combined the water with 80-pound sacks of concrete to create the mortar for the foundation.
It felt impossible the entire time, according to Brookins, who worked when the kids were in school. After school, Brookins drove her family to the five-mile-away construction site where she worked late into the night on the new house.
YouTube videos previously were vague and provided numerous solutions to a task. Brookins employed a part-time firefighter with building experience for $25 per hour to help with some of the more challenging tasks. She remembers, “He was a step ahead of us in knowledge.”
On March 31, 2009, Brookins and her kids moved into the five-bedroom home. She gave it the name Inkwell Manor in recognition of her desire to become a writer.
In the years afterwards, Brookins has written numerous middle grade and young adult books. She has also written a biography titled Rise: How a House Built a Family, which will be released on January 24.
Building the house helped Brookins emerge from her depression. We were ashamed that our best option was to construct our own shelter, Brookins adds. “We weren’t really proud of it,” In the end, it proved to be the best thing I could have done for myself.
She says, “You can do anything you set your mind to if I, a 110 pound computer programmer, can build a complete house.” Choose one goal and stay with it. Find the big thing you want to do, move slowly in that direction, and take those who also need healing with you. That has a lot of influence.
People laugh and criticize mom after she reveals how she makes 7-year-old clean and teaches him how to cook
How we choose to raise our children and the lessons we decide to ingrain in them from an early age differs from parent to parent.
It’s only natural, of course. Some mothers and fathers take a more disciplined approach, for example, while others prefer to let their kids go through a try and fail cycle so that they can learn right and wrong through their own experiences.
Now, for the most part, how one chooses to style their son or daughter’s upbringing is their business, no one else’s. Yet that doesn’t stop people commenting and criticizing online every time a debate is sparked over some parental decision or another…
I remember when I was younger, doing chores was considered part and parcel of everyday life. I mean for me and my siblings, of course, not only my mother.
Doing dishes, making beds, helping to prepare food before mealtimes… the list goes on and on.
I understand times change, but in my mind getting children to help out with tasks around the house – providing there’s no danger involved – is a great way to instill values and a worth ethic that will come in handy later on.
It seems, though, that not everyone agrees. According to reports, one mother found this out the hard way a few years back after she uploaded pictures of her son and shared her method of giving him chores to do with the internet.
The mom in question, 22-year-old Nikkole Paulun, reportedly explained how she proudly put her 7-year-old son, Lyle, to work around the house, where he would help out with things like cooking and cleaning.
Nothing too dramatic, I’m sure we can all agree, but that didn’t stop online detractors from verbally attacking her and expressing concern over the potential impact on the child’s emotional well-being.
The bulk of the critics targeted the fact that the mother had shared her son’s chores online, not only potentially making other parents question themselves, but also flagging the idea that the child might not want to have his daily activities shared with a large number of strangers online.
One woman went as far as to write in the comments that Nikkole couldn’t just let her child “be your slave. Or to do the chores that you yourself don’t want to do.”
Another wrote: “So I take it you can do everything ur teaching ur son to do or are you just putting pressure on ur child?”
A third added: “Don’t get me wrong… a child should know responsibility. .. but should not be operating a stove that young.“
A fourth wrote: “Lazy mother’s are sweeping the country. It’s good to teach them while they’re young but i notice alot of these single mom’s are just raising their boy’s to be the man that they wish they always had.“
There were many who defended Nikkole in the comments, too, with her post gaining viral status after it garnered over 8,000 comments and 156,000 interactions on Facebook.
Nikkole herself insisted that she enjoys doing housework and that her son Lyle “just helps along the way & earns allowance as well.
What’s more, she added that her then-one-year-old daughter, Ellie, would be following in her elder siblings steps and doing the same thing when she was a little older.
What do you think to Nikkole’s parenting approach and the criticism she got for it? Let us know your thoughts in the comments box.
Leave a Reply