This is a brilliant suspense story! The tension builds perfectly as Melanie’s paranoia escalates, leading her — and us — down a path of questions about her own mind and safety. The reveal about carbon dioxide poisoning is unexpected yet plausible, adding an eerie layer that’s grounded in reality. Ron’s concern and eventual support provide a warm, stabilizing influence, which rounds out the story beautifully.
Your use of sensory details, like the smell of burning toast or the creak of an old apartment, really pulls readers into Melanie’s deteriorating world. The way you weave in her fascination with true crime as a potential factor in her confusion is a clever touch, and the notes turning out to be her own under the effects of CO2 deprivation is the perfect twist.
The additional story teaser at the end for Trent’s story is intriguing too! It would draw readers into another layer of mystery. This story really nails the suspense while maintaining a sympathetic, relatable protagonist.
Newborn Baby Cries All Day No Matter What Parents Do, after a While They Check His Crib – Story of the Day
Walter arrives home to find his baby son crying uncontrollably. Despite Abby’s efforts, nothing soothes him. Investigating the crib, Walter is stunned by what he discovers: a dictaphone and a ransom note demanding $200,000. The note implicates a hospital janitor whom Walter had previously insulted. Fearing for their son’s safety, they grapple with whether to pay or involve the police. Ultimately, they decide to pay, but when Walter attempts to retrieve Logan, he realizes it was Abby who orchestrated the kidnapping. With Logan safely back, Abby’s betrayal leaves Walter shattered, but determined to protect his son at any cost.
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