There are so many things in the world that we may admire or even get inspired by, but there’s one main thing we may want to fall in love with before we start noticing the beauty of other things. It’s our own reflection in the mirror. Among all the numerous recipes for conjuring up self-love within ourselves, psychologists advise us to never compare ourselves to others and stop caring about other people’s opinions. Actress and producer Lena Dunham knows a lot about cultivating love for her own body despite all the criticism she faced, and she happily shares her journey with us all.
Lena Dunham doesn’t accept the term “body positivity,” and here’s why.
Actress and writer Lena Dunham has recently added another string to her bow and collaborated with the brand 11 Honoré to create a plus-size clothing collection. But the very term “plus size” frustrates Lena, and so is the term “body positivity.” In one of her Instagram posts, she explains that she feels more “body tolerant” than “body positive.”
In her interview, Dunham said, “The thing that’s complicated about the body-positive movement is it can be for the privileged few who have a body that looks the way people want to feel positive. We want curvy bodies that look like Kim Kardashian has been up-sized slightly. We want big beautiful butts and big beautiful breasts and no cellulite and faces that look like you could smack them onto thin women.”
Dunham has a very special relationship with her own body.
Dunhams path to self-love started with a decade-long journey with endometriosis. Since she started her own fight against it, she has been candidly sharing how it influenced both her emotional health and her relationship with her own body image. In her Instagram post, she emotionally described how she fluctuated between loving her body and the opposite.
She wrote, “Ya know when you’re home alone, and you realize you’d be happier in a hot lil’ onesie than your ketchup and cat food stained pajamas? And it’s not about a boy or a photo shoot or a weight loss before-and-after, it’s just for the feeling of glee you get from dressing your one and only corporeal form in pleasing fabrics, the unique pleasure of admiring the twists and turns of the body that loves the heck out of you even when you don’t love it.”
Dunham is powerfully addressing all people who come to her page with criticism.
In 2021, Dunham tied the knot with musician Luis Felber. It was such a darling event for her that she wore 3 wedding dresses to marry her love and shared the photos on her Instagram. However, she started getting some “gnarly” comments in her feed from people who commented on her body and appearance. The actress didn’t hesitate for a minute to address them with a powerful message.
She wrote, “One narrative I take issue with, largely because it’s a story I don’t want other women, other people, to get lodged in their heads, is that I should somehow be criticized because my body has changed since I was last on television. […] But lastly, when will we learn to stop equating thinness with health/happiness?”
Dunham’s powerful message can be echoed in the hearts of many.
For all people who have ever hesitated about embracing their body image, Dunham has some simple yet wise advice. She says, “Of course weight loss can be the result of positive change in habits, but guess what? So can weight gain. The pics I’m being compared to are from when I was with an undiagnosed illness. In the last 4 years, I’ve begun my life as someone who aspires toward health and not just achievement.
These changes have allowed me to be the kind of sister/friend/daughter that I want to be and yes — meet my husband (who, by the way, doesn’t recognize me in those old photos because he sees how dimmed my light was). I say this for any other person whose appearance has been changed with time, illness, or circumstance — it’s okay to live in your present body without treating it as transitional. I am, and I’m really enjoying it. Love you all.”
Do you find Lena Dunham’s example inspiring? What do you love the most about your appearance?
Preview photo credit Steve Granitz / WireImage / Getty Images, lenadunham / Instagram
A Few Hours before Wedding, Groom Puts on Jacket and Finds a Letter from His Mother in Its Pocket — Story of the Day
Today’s story is about a man who found a note from his mother in his jacket pocket a few hours before the wedding and couldn’t stop crying when he read it.
Kale was restless as he lay on his bed. He’d been trying to sleep for an hour, but sleep seemed to have other plans. What are you doing, Kale? The man sighed and buried his face in the pillow, cursing himself. You need to sleep! What will Camilla think if she sees you groggy on your wedding day?
But after nearly an hour, Kale still hadn’t fallen asleep. He finally sat up, took out the family album from his side drawer, and began flipping through the photos, remembering the old days.
Kale received a letter from his mother on his wedding day | Photo: Shutterstock
He was just 5 years old when his father David died in a car accident. David ran a small grocery store, and they didn’t make much money back then. The family was already struggling, and his father’s death devastated his mother, Lillian, but she never showed her pain to her son and did her best to raise him.
When he turned 18, she worked several jobs just to send him to college. The store was still there, but it wasn’t enough to provide for his education.
So the elderly lady worked multiple jobs and saved every penny she could, promising herself that she would help her son fulfill his dream of becoming a software engineer. And Kale, like a good son, did not disappoint his mother.
He worked hard and graduated magna cum laude from New York University. He also had several good offers and a handsome package by the end of his senior year of college.
However, by that time, Lilian’s health wasn’t doing well. She didn’t tell her son about it because she didn’t want him to worry. So when Kale returned to his Florida home one day, he was surprised to discover his mother almost lifeless on the bed.
Kale became a successful software engineer | Photo: Unsplash
He immediately called a doctor, who delivered the sad news to him that Lilian was suffering from Alzheimer’s. It was still in its early stages, but her condition was rapidly deteriorating because she didn’t take care of herself.
Kale was advised to transfer her to an old-age home where she would be cared for, but he didn’t want to do that. He tried to take care of his mother in the same way she had taken care of him and applied for a leave of absence to do so. However, nothing changed. Lilian’s condition worsened to the point where she could no longer recognize her own son.
When Kale saw his mother in that state, he became terrified and decided to move her to a nursing home. However, he didn’t want to leave her alone, so he brought her to New York and found a home for her over there.
Three years passed like that, and Lilian’s condition thankfully did not deteriorate, but she still had those moments when she forgot everything, including Kale.
Kale moved his mother to a nursing home | Photo: Unsplash
One day, Kale took his girlfriend, Camilla, to see his mother. They had just recently started dating then and when Lilian met Camilla, her eyes welled up. More surprisingly, she recognized Kale that day. But on their next visit, it was the same story again, where Lilian declared she never had a son.
A few years later, Kale and Camilla were already engaged and they went to visit Lilian to invite her to the wedding. But the poor woman didn’t recognize them both and kept asking how they knew her.
Kale ran out of the nursing home in tears. “What do I do, Camilla? Mom doesn’t even recognize us! And the wedding is just two days away!”
“It’s okay, honey,” Camilla consoled him. “I have an idea if you want your mother to attend our wedding.”
Camilla suggested that they’d hold two weddings. One with all the guests because they’d already sent out the invitations, and the other with intimate family members later at the church close to the nursing home, in the hopes that Lilian would at least recognize them then and give her blessing.
Lilian refused to recognize Kale and Camilla | Photo: Pexels
It was already 4 in the morning and Kale couldn’t stop thinking about his mother. His wedding was just hours away so he closed the photo album, closed his eyes, and managed to force himself to sleep until the sound of the doorbell woke him.
He got up, rubbed his eyes, and slowly walked towards the door. It was seven in the morning and a delivery boy stood outside with a package from his mother’s nursing home. Kale unwrapped the present quickly and discovered a nice suit inside.
Did mom send this to me? Did she finally remember that it is my wedding day? Kale leaped to his feet in delight and dashed over to the mirror to try on the suit. However, as he was putting on the jacket, he noticed a strange bulge in his pocket. He reached into the coat pocket and found a letter inside. “Please open it before your wedding,” it read on the top. Kale recognized his mother’s handwriting and immediately opened the letter and began reading.
Kale discovered a letter in his suit pocket | Photo: Unsplash
“Dear Kale,” it began. “I’m glad you’ve found someone you love, but let me warn you…Moving forward with the idea of marriage is not going to be easy for you. That’s why I’m writing this letter to you before it’s too late.”
“First of all, have a wonderful wedding, son. I came across your wedding invitation today. Thanks for leaving it with the nurse. I really want to see you get married, irrespective of whether I’ll be able to recognize you or not. The nurse here thinks it’s a miracle that I remembered you when I saw the wedding invite. I wish this miracle could last a little longer so that I could remember everything.
“But in any case, please remember that I’m always there with you. Please love your wife and take good care of her. Marriage is a sacred relationship, but it’s not a bed of roses. There’ll be ups and downs, but in a relationship, the heart for understanding each other is the most important.
“Also, keep in mind, son, that you now hold not just a wife and a beloved woman, but the most valuable treasure. So try and help her; she is a fragile woman who may appear strong from the outside, but just like everyone else, even she needs support. And please, don’t quarrel over petty things such as money. Money is not more important than love and relationships.
“Love your wife, try to understand her, and admire her. When she looks at you with love in her eyes, look at her with the same feeling. Every quarrel, like every hurtful word, has the potential to pierce the heart. Don’t let that come in between you two and destroy your family. Do not pursue other women; you have made a decision to pursue her, so don’t look back and be the man of her dreams. I hope you’d be as wonderful a husband as you are a son. With love, Mom.”
Lilian attended Kale’s wedding | Photo: Shutterstock
Kale’s eyes welled up as he finished reading the letter. He quickly got ready and went to the nursing home to meet his mother. Unfortunately, Lilian didn’t recognize him, but he decided to bring her to the wedding as she’d desired.
He went out and bought her a lovely gown and asked the nurse to get her ready. Lilian arrived at the wedding venue in a wheelchair, completely unaware of her surroundings, but tears welled up in her eyes when she heard her son say, “I do!” Perhaps, just for a moment, she did recognize her son and his future wife.
What can we learn from this story?
- Love and respect your parents. Kale loved his mother and never left her alone, despite her condition. All of us should try to be like that.
- Miracles do happen. Lilian had almost forgotten about his son, but she remembered him one day and wrote him a touching letter.
If you enjoyed this story, you might like this one about a store clerk who kicks out a poor little boy who wanted to buy a doll for his dying mom.
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