A woman goes to her boyfriend’s parents’ house for dinner. This is tobe her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous. They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal.
The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole. The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart.
It wasn’t loud, but everyone at the table heard thepouf. Before she even had a chanceto be embarrassed, her boyfriend’s father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing at the woman’s feet and said in a rather stern voice, “Skippy!”. The woman thought, “This is great!” and a big smile came across her face. A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again.
This time, she didn’t even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer fart rip. The father again looked and the dog and yelled, “Dammit Skippy!” Once again the woman smiled and thought “Yes!”. A few minutes laterthe woman had to let another one rip.
This time she didn’t even think about it. She let rip a fart that rivaled a train whistle blowing! Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, ”Dammit Skippy, get away from her before she shits on you!”
My Husband Purchased First Class Seats for Himself and His Mother, Leaving Me and the Children in Economy – I Taught Him a Severe Lesson
My entitled husband booked first class for himself and his mom, leaving me in economy with the kids. But I wasn’t going to just sit back. I made sure his “luxury” experience had a little turbulence, turning his flight into a lesson he won’t forget.
I’m Sophie and let me tell you about my husband, Clark. You know the workaholic, always stressed type, who probably thinks his job is the center of the universe? Don’t get me wrong, I get it, but hello? Being a mom isn’t exactly a spa day either. Anyway, he really outdid himself this time. You ready for this?
Okay, so we were supposed to be visiting his family for the holidays last month. The whole point was to relax, bond as a family, and give the kids some fun memories. Simple enough, right?
Clark volunteered to book the flights, and I thought, “Great, one less thing for me to worry about.”
Oh, how naive I was.
“Clark, honey, where are our seats?” I asked, juggling our toddler on one hip and a diaper bag on the other. The airport was a maze of stressed-out families and businesspeople rushing to their gates.
Clark, my dear husband of eight years, was busy tapping away on his phone. “Oh, um, about that…” he mumbled, not even looking up.
I felt a knot forming in my stomach. “What do you mean, ‘about that’?”
He finally pocketed his phone and gave me that sheepish grin I’d come to dread.
“Well, I managed to snag an upgrade for me and Mom to first class. You know how she gets on long flights, and I really need to catch up on some peaceful rest…”
Wait. An upgrade for just the two of them? I stared at him, waiting for the punchline. It didn’t come.
“So, let me get this straight,” I snapped. “You and your mother are sitting in first class, while I’m stuck in economy with both kids?”
Clark had the audacity to shrug. The nerve of this guy. Argh.
“Ah, c’mon. Stop being a drama queen! It’s just a few hours, Soph. You’ll be fine.”
As if on cue, his mother Nadia appeared, designer luggage in tow. “Oh, Clark! There you are. Are we ready for our luxurious flight?”
She smirked as if she’d won an Olympic medal and I swear I could’ve melted under her gaze.
I watched as they sauntered off towards the first-class lounge, leaving me with two cranky kids and a growing desire for revenge.
“Oh, it’ll be luxurious alright,” I muttered, a delicious, petty plan brewing in my head. “Just you wait.”
As we boarded the plane, I couldn’t help but notice the grim difference between first class and economy. Clark and Nadia were already sipping champagne while I struggled to fit our carry-on into the overhead bin.
“Mommy, I want to sit with Daddy!” our five-year-old whined.
I forced a smile. “Not this time, sweetie. Daddy and Grandma are sitting in a special part of the plane.”
“Why can’t we sit there too?”
“Because Daddy’s a special kind of jerk.”
“What was that, Mommy?”
“Nothing, honey. Let’s get you buckled in.”
As I settled the kids, I caught a glimpse of Clark reclining in his spacious seat, looking all too pleased with himself. That’s when I remembered I had his wallet. Yep! Here’s how!
As we navigated the security checkpoint earlier, I subtly lagged behind. While Clark and Nadia were engrossed in a conversation, I discreetly slipped my hand into his carry-on. I quickly located his wallet, slipped it into my bag, and resumed my place in line as if NOTHING had happened. Smart, right? I know! I know!
Okay, so back to where we left off. A wicked grin spread across my face as I watched Clark. This flight was about to get a lot more interesting.
Two hours into the flight, my kids were asleep, and I was enjoying the peace and quiet. That’s when I saw the flight attendant approaching the first-class cabin with a tray of gourmet meals. Yum!
It was like watching a dog drool over a juicy steak while I was stuck with airline pretzels.
I watched as Clark ordered the most expensive items on the menu, complete with top-shelf liquor, indulging in every luxury available.
“Would you like anything from the snack cart, ma’am?” another flight attendant asked me.
I smiled. “Just water, please. And maybe some popcorn. I have a feeling I’m about to watch quite a show.”
The attendant looked confused but obliged.
As expected, about thirty minutes later, I saw Clark frantically searching his pockets. The color drained from his face as he realized his wallet was missing.
I couldn’t hear what was being said, but his body language told me everything. The flight attendant was standing firm, hand outstretched, waiting for payment.
Clark was gesturing wildly, his voice rising just enough for me to catch snippets.
“But I’m sure I had it… Can’t we just… I’ll pay when we land!”
I sat back, munching on my popcorn. The in-flight entertainment had nothing on this. Jeez, this was EPIC!
Finally, the moment I’d been waiting for arrived. Clark, looking like a scolded schoolboy, made his way down the aisle to economy class. And to me!
“Soph,” he whispered urgently, crouching next to my seat. “I can’t find my wallet. Please tell me you have some cash.”
I put on my best-concerned face. “Oh no! That’s terrible, honey. How much do you need?”
He winced. “Uh, about $1500?”
I nearly choked on my water. “Thousand five hundred bucks? What on earth did you order? The blue whale?!”
“Look, it doesn’t matter,” he hissed, glancing nervously back at first class. “Do you have it or not?”
I made a show of rummaging through my purse. “Let’s see… I’ve got about $200. Will that help?”
The look of desperation on his face was priceless. “It’s better than nothing, I guess. Thanks.”
As he turned to leave, I called out sweetly, “Hey, doesn’t your mom have her credit card? I’m sure she’d be happy to help!”
The color drained from Clark’s face as he realized he’d have to ask his mother to bail him out. This was better than any revenge I could have planned.
The rest of the flight was delightfully awkward. Clark and Nadia sat in stony silence, their first-class experience thoroughly ruined. Meanwhile, I enjoyed my economy seat with a newfound joy.
As we began our descent, Clark made one more trip back to economy.
“Soph, have you seen my wallet? I’ve looked everywhere.”
I put on my most innocent face. “No, honey. Are you sure you didn’t leave it at home?”
He ran his hands through his hair, frustration evident. “I could’ve sworn I had it at the airport. This is a nightmare.”
“Well,” I said, patting his arm, “at least you got to enjoy first class, right?”
The look he gave me could have curdled milk. “Yeah, real enjoyable.”
As he skulked back to his seat, I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of satisfaction. Lesson learned!
After the flight, Clark was looking as sour as a lemon. Nadia had wisely disappeared into the restroom, probably to avoid the look on his face. I couldn’t blame her. It was one of those classic “if looks could kill” moments, and Clark’s mood wasn’t improving.
“I can’t believe I lost my wallet,” Clark muttered, patting down his pockets for the tenth time.
“Are you sure you didn’t leave it in first class?” I asked, doing my best to keep a straight face.
He shot me a glare. “I already checked. Twice.”
I bit my lip, holding back the grin threatening to break free. This was too good.
“Maybe it fell out during one of those fancy meals they served you.”
“Very funny, Soph. This isn’t a joke. There’s gotta be a way to track it down.”
He then let out a heavy sigh, his shoulders slumping. “I just hope someone didn’t pick it up and run off with it. All our cards are in there.”
“Yeah, that would suck!”
As Clark continued to grumble about his missing wallet, I casually zipped my purse shut, keeping my little secret tucked safely inside. I wasn’t about to let him off the hook just yet.
Besides, there was something oddly satisfying about watching him squirm a little after ditching us for first class.
As we walked out of the airport, I couldn’t help but feel a little giddy. I’d keep the wallet hidden for a while longer and treat myself to something nice with his card before handing it back. A little creative justice never hurt anyone!
So, fellow travelers, remember: if your partner ever tries to upgrade themselves and leave you behind, a little creative justice might just be the ticket to a happier journey. After all, in the flight of life, we’re all in this together… economy or first class.
Leave a Reply