Coping with the loss of a loved one is a challenging journey, even when they rest in a visitable site. Many individuals express their deep connection by leaving intricate offerings like flower arrangements, and in certain cultures, even snacks. However, the tradition of placing coins on gravestones holds a distinctive significance, primarily associated with military personnel, carrying a profound meaning for veterans and their families.
The origins of the practice are somewhat unclear, with claims suggesting a historical connection to the Roman Empire, though lacking concrete documentation, according to Snopes. Regardless of its historical roots, one undeniable truth remains, those who serve in the armed forces, along with their loved ones, endure sacrifices that often surpass common understanding.
The custom of leaving coins on gravestones can be traced back to the Vietnam War era, where it served as a practical means of communication amidst the divisive political climate surrounding the war. Leaving a coin became a subtle yet meaningful gesture, avoiding potential contentious discussions with the soldier’s family about the politics of the war. This revelation is shared on the American Legion Website.
Beyond its practical origins, the tradition of leaving coins on gravestones has evolved into a symbolic act of showing respect and honoring fallen comrades. Each coin type carries a distinct meaning in this poignant practice. A penny symbolizes a simple visit, a nickel holds sentimental value as it signifies shared experiences in boot camp, a dime represents serving together, even briefly, before a transfer, and a quarter, perhaps the most significant, indicates that the individual was present during the time of death, offering solace to the grieving family.
This tradition of military personnel leaving coins is not the sole connection between the military and monetary symbols. Challenge coins, a beloved military tradition, have deep roots dating back to World War I, symbolizing unity among those who have served. While challenge coins hold sentimental value and represent unity, they lack any monetary worth.
Coins, as symbols, extend beyond military traditions, playing roles in various cultural practices. Coins are often seen as symbols of good luck, goodwill towards newlyweds, and objects for making wishes. Throughout history, there have been instances of individuals being buried with their wealth, although not necessarily in the form of coins. Abraham Lincoln, for instance, was reported to be buried with two-half dollars over his eyes.
While the specific symbolism of currency may remain unclear in the tradition of placing coins on gravestones, the practice signifies a bond that transcends superficial understanding. It serves as a powerful and enduring tribute, acknowledging the sacrifices made by those in the service and their families, ensuring their dedication is never overlooked or forgotten.
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I Asked My Grandmother to Walk Down the Aisle at My Wedding — My Family Demands That I Apologize for It
Just days before her wedding, Leah discovers that her grandmother didn’t have a wedding. Unable to sleep due to her grandmother having missed her opportunity, Leah wants her grandparents to have their moment and walk down the aisle. Instead of it playing out as Leah plans, she has to deal with a grandmother in a wedding dress, an embarrassed grandfather, and livid family members. Did she ruin her own wedding just to give her grandmother a memory?
“Tell me about your wedding, Gran,” I asked, rocking back and forth on the porch swing. The night was quiet, and we were a week away from my wedding.
A person sitting on a porch swing | Source: Midjourney
All I wanted to do was soak up the time I had left with my grandmother because once we were married, Nate and I would be moving away.
“Oh, honey, there wasn’t really a wedding. Your grandfather always promised, but it never happened,” she smiled, her eyes distant.
A smiling old woman | Source: Pexels
“Never?” I asked, frowning.
My grandmother shook her head.
“No. He didn’t even propose, Leah,” she said. “He always said that we’d get around to it eventually, but life just kept getting in the way. We raised our kids, took care of the house, and before I knew it, decades had passed.”
A woman washing dishes | Source: Unsplash
“But you are married, right?” I asked, trying to understand why my grandmother’s words felt like such a blow to me.
“Married, yes. Your grandfather took me down to the courthouse, and we signed away our single lives. He didn’t ask me; he just said that it was going to happen. And it did.”
The exterior of a court house | Source: Unsplash
My heart ached for her.
“But you wanted one, right? A wedding, I mean,” I pressed.
Her smile was wistful.
“I did, but I let go of that dream a long time ago. Now, come on, I’ll make you some hot chocolate before you leave.”
Two mugs of hot chocolate | Source: Midjourney
Later that night, when I went back home to my fiancé, I couldn’t sleep at all. My grandmother’s words replayed in my mind, and I felt a deep sadness for her unfulfilled dream.
By morning, I had an idea. It seemed perfect. To me, everything was good. Everything made sense.
A woman lying in bed | Source: Unsplash
“Nate, can I run something by you?” I asked my fiancé over breakfast.
He nodded, looking up at me and smiling.
“What if Grandma walked down the aisle at our wedding?” I asked.
Eggs and bacon in a frying pan | Source: Midjourney
“Leah, what on earth do you mean?” he asked, sipping his coffee.
I sat across from him, nibbling on some toast, and I told him everything that my grandmother told me the previous night.
A man holding a mug | Source: Unsplash
“So, you’re saying that you want your grandmother to walk down the aisle in a wedding dress?”
“Yes,” I said, getting more excited by the idea. “We could get her a simple dress and some flowers. And she could walk down the aisle. It would be like giving her a piece of the wedding she never had.”
Nate smiled at me, the smile reaching his eyes.
An old woman in a wedding dress | Source: Midjourney
“Leah, what on earth do you mean?” he asked, sipping his coffee.
I sat across from him, nibbling on some toast, and I told him everything that my grandmother told me the previous night.
A man holding a mug | Source: Unsplash
“So, you’re saying that you want your grandmother to walk down the aisle in a wedding dress?”
“Yes,” I said, getting more excited by the idea. “We could get her a simple dress and some flowers. And she could walk down the aisle. It would be like giving her a piece of the wedding she never had.”
Nate smiled at me, the smile reaching his eyes.
An old woman in a wedding dress | Source: Midjourney
A hanging garment bag | Source: Midjourney
She gasped quietly, tears welling up in her eyes.
“Oh, sweetheart, I couldn’t…”
“Yes, you can,” I said firmly, handing her a bouquet of flowers. “I know that you’re married to Grandpa already, but this is part of your dream. Let’s make it happen.”
A bouquet of flowers | Source: Unsplash
She hugged me tightly, nodding against my ear. I asked another one of my bridesmaids to take my grandmother to one of the other dressing rooms so that she could take in the moment for herself.
Next, I asked for my grandfather to come to my dressing room.
A bride in a dressing room | Source: Pexels
“Grandpa, we’re going to have Grandma walk down the aisle today. Like a bride, okay? You guys can have your moment. And it will be beautiful because we get to share the day.”
He snorted, immediately dismissive.
An upset old man | Source: Pexels
“Leah, that’s ridiculous,” he said. “At our age? It’s more a mockery than anything else.”
I was taken aback by his reaction.
“But it’s something that Gran has always wanted.”
Instead, he waved me off.
“I’m not interested, Leah. We are here for your wedding. That’s it.”
An old man holding a cane | Source: Pexels
Despite his refusal, the ceremony proceeded. I knew that I should have tried to convince him harder, but there wasn’t any time.
As the music started, my grandmother stepped onto the aisle, with me watching her from behind.
“It’s okay,” I told her before. “You just do it alone if you have to. Walk to Nate, and then you can take a seat at the front. And then it will be my turn to walk to my future husband.”
A groom | Source: Unsplash
There was confusion when Gran started walking down the aisle, especially because she wasn’t walking toward my grandfather, but to Nate instead.
As she walked, guests gasped, unable to comprehend what was going on.
My grandfather’s face turned red, and he stood up abruptly. He looked me straight in the eye as he stormed out of the venue.
An old man with his mouth open | Source: Pexels
I felt a pang of guilt but quickly refocused my attention on my grandmother, who had hugged Nate and was beaming with joy.
When she sat down, my entrance music began, and I walked down the aisle bursting with love for Nate. I hadn’t expected him to be okay with any of it, but the fact that he was just made everything more magical.
“Hey there,” he said as he took my hand when I reached the altar.
A couple at the altar | Source: Midjourney
The rest of the ceremony went off without any hiccups, and whenever I turned to look at my Gran, she had her little handkerchief in her hands ready to dab her eyes.
But then, everything changed after the ceremony.
It started with my nephew crashing into the table holding the champagne glasses, leaving glass everywhere.
Shattered glass | Source: Pexels
And then, instead of my family coming to me and throwing confetti on Nate and myself in celebration, they did the exact opposite.
My parents pulled me aside, my mother tugging harshly at my arm.
“What were you thinking, Leah?” she hissed. “You embarrassed your grandfather with that childish stunt. Why does it always have to be about you?”
An angry woman | Source: Pexels
“It wasn’t about me!” I protested. “It was about Grandma and her dream. She deserved this moment as much as I did. As much as you did when you got married, too.”
“And what about your grandfather?” my father chimed in, flagging down a waiter with canapes as he spoke. “You made a good old fool of him.”
But it didn’t stop there.
An angry man | Source: Pexels
My relatives kept coming up to me, agreeing with my parents. They didn’t even allow me to eat my first meal with Nate as his wife or have our first dance together.
It was all about them and how they thought that I had ruined my grandfather’s mood, and was it worth it?
“Of course, it’s worth it!” I told my mother’s sister when she slid into the chair next to me. “Anything for Gran!”
“It’s okay,” Nate said, as he pulled me into his arms, my tears threatening to escape.
A bridal couple standing together | Source: Pexels
“Did I ruin our wedding?” I asked him.
“You did no such thing,” he reassured me. “I’ll get the car, we can go to the hotel. We’ll take your grandmother, too. I’ve seen how everyone has been circling her.”
Later that night, I sat with my grandmother in her hotel room. Nate had booked her a room for the night.
A parked black car | Source: Pexels
“Spend time with her,” he said. “Let her know that you truly meant today as a way of healing her. She needs to know that. You can come to me later.”
“Did I do the right thing?” I asked, my voice trembling.
I knew that in my heart, I had done the right thing, but it was the way everyone else reacted.
My grandmother took my hand, her eyes full of gratitude.
Two woman sitting together | Source: Pexels
“You gave me a moment I never thought I’d have, Leah. Thank you, darling.”
Her words comforted me, but the rift with my family remained. They demanded that I apologize to my Grandpa, who doesn’t want to see me.
All I knew is that I cannot bring myself to regret giving Grandma her moment.
A smiling woman sitting on a bed | Source: Pexels
What do you think? Did I do the right thing?
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