According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds every night. And while many of us might believe in the saying “couples who sleep apart grow apart” there are studies that show the opposite is actually true.
We at Bright Side believe that there are no wrong or right sleep arrangements, because to some, sleeping in different beds can be as pleasing as for others sharing a bed with their partner.
A poor night’s sleep can turn lovers into fighters.
According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.
Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.
Resenting your partner because you can’t get a good night’s sleep can be destructive to the relationship.
Snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging are just a few of many reasons why some couples choose to sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you beat yourself up to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.
According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.
Each partner can tailor their sleeping conditions to their heart’s content.
Tina Cooper, a licensed social worker, sleeps in different bedrooms with her partner because of their opposite sleeping habits. “I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird. I need soothing sounds to fall asleep, and he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, and I like soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”
How you spend the nighttime in your shared bedroom with your partner can also influence your daytime functioning, marital satisfaction, and psychological and physical health. And when 2 people with different bedtime preferences and nighttime schedules end up together, changing themselves just to please their partner’s needs might harm their relationship in the long run.
Sleeping in different bedrooms with your partner means that the 2 of you will have a place just for yourselves where you can relax after an exhausting day. This way, both of you can satisfy your needs without tiptoeing around and worrying about whether your partner might wake up because you want to watch the latest episode of your show before bed.
Even if you don’t remember waking up, disturbed sleep can have a negative impact on your overall health.
During the night, our brain cycles through the stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (Rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.
Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.
People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.
- “Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
- “My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
- “Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
- “Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420
What are your sleeping arrangements with your partner? Do you believe sleeping in different beds can help a relationship thrive?
5 Painful Reasons Why Men Leave Women They Love
Love is a powerful force, but sometimes, even deep feelings aren’t enough to keep a relationship intact. Men can walk away from women they love, leaving behind confusion, heartbreak, and unanswered questions. The reasons behind this decision are often complex and deeply personal. If you’ve ever wondered why men leave despite loving their partners, you’re not alone.
Let’s explore five painful yet common reasons why men walk away from the women they love and what it means for relationships.
1. Emotional Unavailability: When Love Isn’t Enough
Many men struggle with emotional vulnerability, often because they were never taught how to express their feelings. Society has conditioned men to be strong, independent, and emotionally restrained, making it difficult for them to open up—even to the women they love.
Over time, this emotional wall creates a gap in the relationship. While he may deeply care, his inability to communicate his emotions can make his partner feel alone and disconnected. When emotional unavailability becomes overwhelming, he may choose to leave rather than confront the feelings he doesn’t know how to handle.
A relationship thrives on emotional connection, and when one partner struggles to express their emotions, it can lead to loneliness, misunderstandings, and eventually, separation.
Video : Why Do Men Leave the Woman They Love?
2. Fear of Vulnerability: The Pain of Being Too Exposed
Love requires a person to be open, raw, and emotionally available. For some men, this is terrifying. If they’ve been hurt before—whether in childhood, past relationships, or personal experiences—the idea of fully opening their heart again can be overwhelming.
Vulnerability means taking a risk, and for some men, the fear of potential heartbreak outweighs their desire to stay. Rather than risk getting hurt, they unconsciously sabotage the relationship or leave before things get too deep.
This fear isn’t always rational, but it’s real. Some men believe that walking away is safer than investing in something that could leave them shattered. It’s not about not loving their partner—it’s about protecting themselves from emotional pain.
3. Incompatibility or Growing Apart: When Love Alone Isn’t Enough
Love is essential, but it’s not the only factor that keeps a relationship alive. Over time, people change. Their goals, values, and priorities shift, and sometimes, two people who once fit perfectly together no longer align.
Maybe he realizes that his ambitions take him in a different direction, or perhaps their values and beliefs no longer match. While love still exists, staying in a relationship that no longer serves both partners can feel suffocating.
Some men leave not because they don’t love their partner, but because they recognize that staying would only lead to long-term unhappiness for both. This realization is painful but sometimes necessary.
4. Unresolved Conflict or Resentment: When Issues Keep Piling Up
Every couple argues, but when conflicts remain unresolved, they create deep resentment. Over time, small disagreements can build into something much bigger.
If a man feels unheard, disrespected, or like his feelings don’t matter, he might emotionally check out of the relationship. Even if he loves his partner, he may feel like he’s fighting a losing battle. Instead of continuing to try, he walks away, believing that things will never change.
Chronic tension and unspoken frustrations wear down even the strongest love. Without healthy communication and mutual understanding, even the deepest connections can fade away.
5. Loss of Passion or Intimacy: When the Connection Fades
A relationship is built on both emotional and physical intimacy. When that connection weakens, partners begin to feel more like roommates than lovers.
Passion doesn’t always die suddenly—it fades slowly over time. Maybe life got in the way, stress took over, or the couple stopped prioritizing their connection. Whatever the reason, a lack of intimacy can make a man feel emotionally and physically distant from his partner.
Men, like women, crave closeness, affection, and emotional warmth. When that disappears, they may feel like something is missing. If they can’t find a way to reignite the spark, they might believe that leaving is their only option.
Love Isn’t Always Enough to Stay
Relationships don’t always end because of a lack of love. Sometimes, the dynamics change, emotional needs aren’t met, or deeper fears take over. These five reasons—emotional unavailability, fear of vulnerability, incompatibility, unresolved conflicts, and loss of intimacy—are some of the most common yet painful reasons why men leave women they love.
If you’ve experienced this, know that it’s not always about something you did or didn’t do. Relationships are complex, and sometimes, even love can’t fix what’s broken.
Video : 05 Actual Reasons Men Leave The Woman They Love
What Can We Learn from This?
If you’re in a relationship, pay attention to these signs. Communication, emotional openness, and mutual effort are key to maintaining a deep and lasting connection. If your partner seems distant, have an honest conversation before things reach a breaking point.
If you’ve been left by a man who loved you, understand that his decision may have been about his own fears, struggles, or emotional limitations—not a reflection of your worth.
At the end of the day, true love isn’t just about feeling something—it’s about choosing to stay, fight for connection, and grow together. And sometimes, letting go is the hardest but healthiest decision of all.
Leave a Reply