According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds every night. And while many of us might believe in the saying “couples who sleep apart grow apart” there are studies that show the opposite is actually true.
We at Bright Side believe that there are no wrong or right sleep arrangements, because to some, sleeping in different beds can be as pleasing as for others sharing a bed with their partner.
A poor night’s sleep can turn lovers into fighters.
According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.
Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.
Resenting your partner because you can’t get a good night’s sleep can be destructive to the relationship.
Snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging are just a few of many reasons why some couples choose to sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you beat yourself up to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.
According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.
Each partner can tailor their sleeping conditions to their heart’s content.
Tina Cooper, a licensed social worker, sleeps in different bedrooms with her partner because of their opposite sleeping habits. “I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird. I need soothing sounds to fall asleep, and he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, and I like soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”
How you spend the nighttime in your shared bedroom with your partner can also influence your daytime functioning, marital satisfaction, and psychological and physical health. And when 2 people with different bedtime preferences and nighttime schedules end up together, changing themselves just to please their partner’s needs might harm their relationship in the long run.
Sleeping in different bedrooms with your partner means that the 2 of you will have a place just for yourselves where you can relax after an exhausting day. This way, both of you can satisfy your needs without tiptoeing around and worrying about whether your partner might wake up because you want to watch the latest episode of your show before bed.
Even if you don’t remember waking up, disturbed sleep can have a negative impact on your overall health.
During the night, our brain cycles through the stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (Rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.
Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.
People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.
- “Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
- “My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
- “Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
- “Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420
What are your sleeping arrangements with your partner? Do you believe sleeping in different beds can help a relationship thrive?
I Took in a Beggar with a Baby Because She Reminded Me of My Late Daughter – What She Did in My Home Shocked Me to the Core
At 75, my life was filled with silence and memories until I met Julia, a young mother with a baby, sitting alone by the roadside. What started as a simple act of kindness soon unraveled a story of desperation, betrayal, and an unexpected bond.
At 75, my life had grown quiet. The days seemed longer, each one blending into the next. I spent most of my time thinking about the past. My daughter, Gianna, had died three years ago, and not a day went by that I didn’t think of her.
An elderly woman drinking tea | Source: Pexels
My son, Sebastian, lived in another city. He was busy with work and his own family. He called from time to time, but his visits were rare. I missed him, but I understood. Life has a way of pulling us all in different directions.
My life passed quietly as I shopped for groceries and attended my weekly book club meetings.
An elderly woman in a cafe | Source: Pexels
One afternoon, after picking up groceries, I saw her. A young woman was sitting by the side of the road, holding a baby wrapped in a thin, worn blanket. Her head was bowed, her face hidden, but something about her caught my attention.
Maybe it was her eyes when she finally looked up—filled with exhaustion and sadness—or maybe it was the way she held the baby so protectively. She reminded me of Gianna.
A sad woman | Source: Pexels
I couldn’t just walk past her.
“Do you need help, dear?” I asked softly as I approached her.
She looked up at me, startled. “I don’t want to be a burden,” she whispered, her voice trembling.
“Nonsense,” I said. “You and the baby need a warm place. Come with me.”
A smiling elderly woman | Source: Pexels
She hesitated for a moment, but then slowly nodded. “Thank you,” she whispered again.
We walked back to my house in silence. The baby, a little boy, stirred in her arms, and she tightened her hold on him. I led them inside, offering her a seat on the couch while I warmed some tea. The house had been cold for so long, but now it felt different. It felt alive.
A sleeping baby | Source: Pexels
“What’s your name, dear?” I asked as I handed her a steaming cup.
“Julia,” she said, her voice still soft. “And this is Adam.”
I smiled at the baby, who blinked up at me with big, curious eyes. “He’s a handsome little boy,” I said, trying to make her feel comfortable.
“Thank you,” Julia said, a small smile playing on her lips for the first time. “He’s all I have.”
A woman with a baby in her arms | Source: Pexels
In the days that followed, Julia stayed with me. She found a job at a local grocery store, and I took care of Adam while she worked. He was a joy to have around. His little giggles and the pitter-patter of his feet brought a new energy to the house, one I hadn’t felt in years. It was as if life had returned.
“Thank you for letting us stay here,” Julia said one night after she put Adam to bed. She sat across from me at the kitchen table, her hands wrapped around a cup of tea.
Smiling woman | Source: Pexels
“It’s been good for me,” I replied honestly. “The house was too quiet before you came.”
“I don’t know what we would’ve done without you,” she said, her eyes filled with gratitude.
As the weeks passed, we grew closer. Julia told me a little about her past. She mentioned her five-year-old daughter, Aurora, who was in a charity hospital.
Two women talking | Source: Pexels
“She’s… not well,” Julia said, her voice barely above a whisper. “But we don’t talk about it much.” There was a sadness in her eyes whenever she spoke of Aurora, but I didn’t push. I figured she’d open up when she was ready.
Then, one afternoon, everything changed.
A smiling, thoughtful woman | Source: Pexels
Adam and I came home from my book club earlier than usual. Even though Adam usually slept through our little gatherings, today he kept crying and nothing could calm him down.
The house was quiet—too quiet. Julia was supposed to be at work, and Adam was with me, so I didn’t expect anything to be out of the ordinary. But when I walked into my bedroom with Adam in my arms, I froze.
Julia was standing by my dresser, pulling open the drawers. My jewelry, loose bills, even my mother’s old brooch were scattered on the floor.
Jewelry scattered on the floor | Source: Pexels
“Julia?” I gasped, my heart sinking.
She spun around, her face pale. Tears welled up in her eyes instantly. “I can explain,” she stammered, dropping everything she had in her hands.
“Why?” I whispered, unable to move, unable to believe what I was seeing.
“I didn’t mean to steal,” Julia cried, her hands shaking. “I just… I didn’t know what else to do. Aurora’s surgery… I can’t afford it, and I can’t lose her. I’ve already lost so much.”
A crying woman | Source: Pexels
Her words hung in the air. I could hear the fear and the hopelessness, and despite my anger, I felt my heart soften. I understood her pain. The thought of her losing her child, just like I had lost mine, was unbearable. How could I turn away from her, knowing that kind of sorrow?
I knelt down beside her, placing a hand gently on her shoulder. “Julia, I know you’re scared. I can’t imagine the fear you must be feeling right now, but you should have told me. I could’ve helped.”
A sad elderly woman | Source: Pexels
She looked up, her tear-streaked face full of remorse. “I was ashamed. You’ve done so much for me already, and I didn’t want to ask for more.”
“We’ll figure this out together,” I said softly. “You don’t have to go through this alone.”
Julia wiped her tears, her eyes wide with disbelief. “You’re… you’re not angry?”
“I am,” I admitted. “But I understand why you did what you did. And I forgive you.”
A woman in tears | Source: Pexels
She stared at me for a moment, then threw her arms around me, sobbing into my shoulder. “Thank you… thank you so much.”
That night, I lay in bed thinking. There was no way I could let Julia face this alone. Aurora needed that surgery, and if we worked together, maybe we could make it happen. The next morning, I woke up determined. I wasn’t just going to help Julia; I was going to rally the town.
A confident, elderly woman | Source: Pexels
I hadn’t been involved in the community for years, but in my younger days, I had been known for organizing events. I reached for the phone and started calling people. First, my old friends, then former students and neighbors.
Word spread quickly. Everyone remembered me from when I taught at the local school, and when I explained Julia’s situation, people were eager to help.
People holding each other’s hands | Source: Pexels
“I’ve got some extra things I can donate for an auction,” one of my former students, Maria, said. “We could hold it at the community center.”
“I’ll bake pies for the fundraiser,” said Mrs. Ellison from down the street. “People always love my apple pies.”
“We could put on a community play,” suggested David, an old friend who worked with the local theater group. “Maybe sell tickets to raise more money.”
A man talking on his phone | Source: Pexels
On the day of the fundraiser, the community center was buzzing with activity. I watched in awe as people from all walks of life came together to help Julia and Aurora. The auction went better than expected, with people bidding generously on everything from homemade quilts to antique vases.
The bake sale was a hit, too—Mrs. Ellison’s pies sold out in less than an hour.
Pies on a table | Source: Pexels
When the play began, I saw Julia sitting in the front row, her eyes filled with tears of gratitude. She glanced at me from across the room, mouthing the words, “Thank you.”
I smiled, my heart swelling with pride. This wasn’t just about raising money—it was about bringing the community together, reminding me that I still had a place in this world. We raised every penny needed for Aurora’s surgery.
A smiling elderly woman | Source: Pexels
The day of the surgery was nerve-wracking. I sat with Julia in the hospital, holding her hand as we waited. “She’s going to be okay,” I whispered, more for myself than for her. In that moment, I thought of Gianna, of the long nights I’d spent at her bedside. The waiting, the praying. I squeezed Julia’s hand tighter.
Hours passed, and finally, the doctor came out with a smile. “The surgery was a success,” he said. “Aurora’s going to be fine.”
A smiling doctor | Source: Pexels
Julia collapsed into my arms, sobbing with relief. “Thank you… I don’t know how to ever repay you.”
“You don’t need to repay me,” I said, brushing her hair away from her tear-streaked face. “You’ve already given me so much. You’ve brought life back into my home.”
A happy woman | Source: Pexels
After the surgery, Julia and the children came back to my house. The place was no longer quiet and empty. Adam’s laughter echoed through the halls, and Aurora’s sweet voice filled the air. Toys were scattered across the living room, and the once-silent rooms were now full of life and love.
One evening, as we sat together at the dinner table, I looked at Julia, Aurora, and Adam, feeling something I hadn’t felt in years—contentment.
A family dinner | Source: Pexels
“Stay,” I said suddenly. Julia looked at me, surprised. “Stay here. You and the kids. This house needs noise. It needs life. You’ve become like family.”
Julia’s eyes filled with tears again. “Are you sure?”
“I’ve never been more sure of anything.”
A smiling woman signing a heart with her hands | Source: Unsplash
And just like that, the house wasn’t empty anymore. It was full of laughter, love, and the warmth of a new family bound not by blood, but by something much stronger.
This work is inspired by real events and people, but it has been fictionalized for creative purposes. Names, characters, and details have been changed to protect privacy and enhance the narrative. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental and not intended by the author.
The author and publisher make no claims to the accuracy of events or the portrayal of characters and are not liable for any misinterpretation. This story is provided “as is,” and any opinions expressed are those of the characters and do not reflect the views of the author or publisher.
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