According to a survey, only 14% of couples sleep in separate beds every night. And while many of us might believe in the saying “couples who sleep apart grow apart” there are studies that show the opposite is actually true.
We at Bright Side believe that there are no wrong or right sleep arrangements, because to some, sleeping in different beds can be as pleasing as for others sharing a bed with their partner.
A poor night’s sleep can turn lovers into fighters.
According to research, sharing a bed with a partner that has restless sleep behavior can deprive you of 49 minutes of sleep each night. And, when one partner doesn’t get a proper night’s sleep because of the other, it will most likely result in a conflict between them the next day.
Actually, the study even confirmed that couples who tend to have a poor night’s sleep have more severe and more frequent fights than those who wake up well-rested. People who get a good night’s sleep, on the other hand, are more likely to be in a good mood, have lower stress levels, and be more patient.
Resenting your partner because you can’t get a good night’s sleep can be destructive to the relationship.
Snoring, fidgeting, and bed or blanket hogging are just a few of many reasons why some couples choose to sleep in different beds or even in different bedrooms. Lying awake listening to your partner snoring while you beat yourself up to fall asleep can lead to a build-up of anger, tension, and resentment toward your partner.
According to Jennifer Adams, author of Sleeping Apart Not Falling Apart, sleeping in a separate bedroom can even help a relationship thrive because both partners are not sleep deprived.
Each partner can tailor their sleeping conditions to their heart’s content.
Tina Cooper, a licensed social worker, sleeps in different bedrooms with her partner because of their opposite sleeping habits. “I’m a night owl, he’s an early bird. I need soothing sounds to fall asleep, and he likes silence. He likes a hard mattress, and I like soft and full of pillows. And because I don’t like the early day’s sunlight, my boyfriend gave me the master bedroom which gets less light and he has the second largest room that gets the sunrise he loves.”
How you spend the nighttime in your shared bedroom with your partner can also influence your daytime functioning, marital satisfaction, and psychological and physical health. And when 2 people with different bedtime preferences and nighttime schedules end up together, changing themselves just to please their partner’s needs might harm their relationship in the long run.
Sleeping in different bedrooms with your partner means that the 2 of you will have a place just for yourselves where you can relax after an exhausting day. This way, both of you can satisfy your needs without tiptoeing around and worrying about whether your partner might wake up because you want to watch the latest episode of your show before bed.
Even if you don’t remember waking up, disturbed sleep can have a negative impact on your overall health.
During the night, our brain cycles through the stages of sleep several times: light sleep, deep sleep, and REM (Rapid eye movement sleep). But when you interrupt the cycle by waking up during the night, it means that your brain spends more time in the light sleep stage and misses out on REM. And without sufficient REM your emotional well-being and cognitive performance suffer.
Interrupted sleep can also have short and long-term health consequences, like hypertension, weight-related issues, mental health problems, reduced quality of life, and other health-related issues.
People on Reddit share why they decided to sleep separately with their partner.
- “Because a good night’s sleep is more romantic than sharing a bed. I snore and toss and turn. He gives off literal village levels of heat in his sleep and I can’t stand the heat. I read, he can’t stand light. We keep different hours to an extent. A million reasons. We get along so much better this way.” — crankyweasels
- “My partner and I have completely separate bedrooms. We ’sleepover’ occasionally in each other’s rooms. However, we both sleep exponentially better apart. He’s a night owl and I’m an early bird. He wants only one sheet on him, I want 10 lbs of blankets. In addition, having a separate room allows me to decorate it however I want, have my own personal space, and keep it to the level of cleanliness I prefer. People look at us sideways when I mention the separate rooms thing, but it’s been a game-changer.” — eriasana
- “Different sleep cycles due to different work schedules. We are still madly in love and we both agreed to this because it’s the best for both of us.” — AFishInATank
- “Early in our relationship, 90% of our fights occurred in the bedroom. I like to sleep in a cold room with the fan on and white noise like a box fan. I also like to go to sleep with the TV on. She likes to sleep in a warm, still, cave in complete silence and darkness. We started sleeping in separate rooms and all of a sudden 90% of our fights stopped. Also, because we were getting real sleep, other fights turned more into heated discussions.” — ttc8420
What are your sleeping arrangements with your partner? Do you believe sleeping in different beds can help a relationship thrive?
Greedy Heirs Tried to Earn Favor with Grandpa to Inherit More, Their Jaws Dropped When the Lawyer Read the Will
“You always have room for one more,” his late wife would say with a gentle smile. Mr. Lewis believed in giving back and creating a life of meaning through acts of kindness.
But in his later years, the family that had once filled his home with joy grew distant. His children rarely visited, except when they needed something.
“Dad, it’s tough out there. Just need a little help,” his eldest son, Richard, would say, barely making eye contact before asking for money.
Olivia, his daughter, was no different. “Dad, the kids’ school fees are outrageous. Could you—” she’d start, and before long, he’d be reaching for his checkbook.
Even his grandchildren only came around during holidays, eyeing his home and wealth more than they ever looked at him.
When Mr. Lewis received his terminal diagnosis, he called his family to share the news. Within hours, they flocked to his mansion, putting on their best performances as the “devoted” children and grandchildren.
“We’re here for you now, Dad,” Richard said, patting his father on the shoulder with forced affection.
“We’ve got you, Grandpa,” echoed his teenage granddaughter, Willow, her eyes barely leaving her phone as she spoke.
For weeks, they hovered around him, offering tea they hadn’t brewed themselves and empty words they didn’t mean. Mr. Lewis saw through it all. They weren’t there out of love—they were there for the money. He was no fool, and though his heart ached, he knew exactly what was happening.
When Mr. Lewis finally passed away peacefully in his sleep, the family immediately shifted their focus to the inheritance. The day of the will reading, they packed into the lawyer’s office, eager to claim their share.
“I bet Dad left the most to me,” Olivia whispered smugly.
“Please,” Richard scoffed. “I’m the one with the business sense.”
But the bickering ceased when Mr. Alaric, the family lawyer, entered the room—accompanied by a quiet, 13-year-old girl none of them recognized.
“Who’s the kid?” Richard blurted out, his confidence fading.
“This,” Mr. Alaric announced, “is Harper. She’s here for the reading of the will.”
Confusion rippled through the room as the family exchanged puzzled looks. The lawyer’s next words left them speechless.
“Harper is the sole heir to Mr. Lewis’ entire estate.”
The room erupted into chaos. “What are you talking about?!” Richard shouted. “She’s just a kid! Dad would never do that.”
Olivia’s voice rose in disbelief. “This is absurd! We’re his family—his blood!”
Mr. Alaric raised his hand for silence. “I know this is a shock, but Mr. Lewis left a letter explaining his decision. Allow me to read it.”
The room fell silent, thick with tension, as the lawyer began.
Dear Family, the letter began, I know you’re probably confused, maybe even angry. But please hear me out. Over the past few years, Harper has been my greatest source of joy. She’s the little girl who lived next door. Long before any of you noticed, Harper saw that I wasn’t well. She’d see me struggling to get the mail or sitting alone on the porch.
Harper shifted uncomfortably as all eyes turned toward her, but she stayed quiet, her hands clasped.
Harper visited me every day. Not for money, not for favors. She came to share stories, play cards, or just sit with me. She made me feel less alone. In the years when I needed family the most, Harper was there.
Richard rolled his eyes. “We were busy living our lives, Dad. You should’ve told us you were lonely.”
Ignoring the interruption, Mr. Alaric continued reading.
What you don’t know is that Harper has her own battles to fight. A few months ago, she was diagnosed with a terminal illness—one no child should ever have to face. Despite her struggles, she’s remained a light in my life. She deserves the chance to live her dreams, no matter how short her time may be.
A stunned silence fell over the room as Mr. Lewis’ children absorbed the revelation. Even Olivia, who had been fuming moments earlier, sat quietly, tears welling in her eyes.
By the time you hear this, I’ll be gone. Harper may only have a year or two left, but I’ve made sure she has everything she needs to live those years to the fullest. Instead of fighting over my money, I hope you’ll support her in the way she supported me. Harper showed me love when none of you did. Remember: love is the greatest inheritance.
Mr. Alaric folded the letter, leaving the room heavy with the weight of Mr. Lewis’ words.
Harper stepped forward, her voice small but steady. “Mr. Lewis was my friend. I never wanted his money, just his stories and time.”
Richard cleared his throat, ashamed. “Harper, I’m sorry. We didn’t know…”
“I’m going to use the money to travel with my parents, eat ice cream for breakfast, and live as much as I can,” Harper said. “When I’m gone, the rest will go to other kids who are fighting like me.”
Tears streamed down Olivia’s face. “You’re so brave, Harper. I hope you get to do everything you dream of.”
Over the following months, Harper did just that. She visited the Eiffel Tower, dipped her toes in the ocean, and filled her days with laughter and love. When her time came, she passed away peacefully, surrounded by those she loved.
True to her wishes, the remainder of Mr. Lewis’ fortune was donated to charities that supported children with terminal illnesses, funding research and helping families in need.
Harper’s legacy became a symbol of the power of kindness and the impact of genuine connection. And for Mr. Lewis’ family, the lesson was clear: wealth isn’t measured by money, but by love. Harper had taught them all the true value of life.
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