Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good man to you in our 7 years of marriage & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been tough for me. Your boss notified me that you quit your job today & that was just too much to bear any longer.
Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.
Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, It’s over and I am leaving.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband,
Believe me, nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s definitely true that you & I have been married for the past 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.
I watch my TV shows so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping, although that doesn’t seem to work.
I definitely noticed your haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ And since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I decided not to comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 long years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could make this work. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem!
Please share this story with your friends and family if you think it was funny.
Prince William and Princess Catherine are marking 14 years of love while visiting Scotland’s Isle of Mull on their wedding anniversary.
The ferry sliced through the calm, grey-blue waters, leaving a frothy wake behind it. On the deck, the wind whipped at their hair, carrying the scent of salt and distant heather. Prince William stood with his arm around Princess Catherine, both gazing towards the approaching green and rugged shores of the Isle of Mull. Fourteen years. It felt like a lifetime and a blink of an eye all at once.
They had chosen Mull for a quiet escape, a place far from the usual pomp and circumstance, to mark their wedding anniversary. A place where the wild beauty of Scotland could offer a backdrop to their own enduring connection.
As they disembarked and drove along winding coastal roads, the landscape unfolded like a tapestry of emerald hills, dramatic cliffs, and hidden coves. Sheep dotted the hillsides like scattered pebbles, and the air was filled with the cries of gulls.
Their destination was a secluded cottage overlooking a loch, a place of simple comfort and breathtaking views. That evening, as the setting sun painted the sky in hues of orange and purple, they walked hand-in-hand along the rocky shore.
“Remember that rain shower on our wedding day?” Catherine mused, a smile playing on her lips. “Everyone was so worried, but it felt… like a blessing.”
William squeezed her hand. “It did. And look at us now. Fourteen years, three wonderful children, countless adventures.”
They talked of their early days, the nervous excitement of their engagement, the joy of their wedding day, the overwhelming love they felt holding each of their babies for the first time. They spoke of challenges faced together, of moments of quiet strength found in each other, and of the shared purpose that guided their public lives.
Mull seemed to hold its breath around them, the silence broken only by the gentle lapping of the water and the distant call of a bird. It was a silence that allowed for reflection, for gratitude, for the quiet reaffirmation of a bond forged in public but deepened in private moments like these.
The next day, they hiked across windswept moors, the vastness of the landscape mirroring the depth of their journey together. They visited ancient standing stones, feeling the weight of history beneath their feet, and picnicked by a cascading waterfall, the sound a soothing symphony.
As their short escape drew to a close, they stood once more on the ferry deck, watching Mull recede into the distance. The island had offered them not just a beautiful setting, but a sanctuary, a space to simply be William and Catherine, a couple celebrating fourteen years of a love story that continued to unfold, strong and true, against the backdrop of their extraordinary lives. The journey ahead held its own unknowns, but looking at each other, they knew they would face it together, just as they always had.
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