Dear Wife,
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good man to you in our 7 years of marriage & I have nothing to show for it.
These last 2 weeks have been tough for me. Your boss notified me that you quit your job today & that was just too much to bear any longer.
Last week, you came home & didn’t even notice I had a new haircut, had cooked your favorite meal & even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers.
You ate in 2 minutes, & went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore; you don’t want sex or anything that connects us as husband & wife.
Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me anymore; whatever the case, It’s over and I am leaving.
Your EX-Husband
P.S. don’t try to find me. Your SISTER & I are moving away to West Virginia together! Have a great life!
Dear Ex-Husband,
Believe me, nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It’s definitely true that you & I have been married for the past 7 years, although a good man is a far cry from what you’ve been.
I watch my TV shows so much because they drown out your constant whining & griping, although that doesn’t seem to work.
I definitely noticed your haircut last week, but the 1st thing that came to mind was ‘You look just like a girl!’ And since my mother raised me not to say anything if you can’t say something nice, I decided not to comment.
And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with MY SISTER, because I stopped eating pork 7 long years ago.
About those new silk boxers: I turned away from you because the $49.99 price tag was still on them, & I prayed it was a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed $50 from me that morning.
After all of this, I still loved you & felt we could make this work. So when I hit the lotto for 10 million dollars, I quit my job & bought us 2 tickets to Jamaica. But when I got home you were gone.
Everything happens for a reason, I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said that the letter you wrote ensures you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Signed, Your Ex-Wife, Rich As Hell & Free!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but my sister Carla was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem!
Please share this story with your friends and family if you think it was funny.
Smith modeled for huge names in the fashion industry among which Guess, H&M, Heatherette and Lane Bryant.
16 years after her death, the name of Anna Nicole Smith still stands for fame and controversy. She was a model, an actress, and a television personality who first gained popularity when she won the title of 1993 Playmate of the Year after posing for Playboy magazine.
“I love the paparazzi,” she once told the Washington Post.
“They take pictures, and I just smile away. I’ve always liked the attention. I didn’t get very much growing up, and I always wanted to be, you know, noticed.”
Sadly, the life of glamour took its toll. Smith married petroleum tycoon J. Howard Marshall who was 63 years her senior. This relationship wasn’t just controversial, but a high-profile one and many believe it marked the start of Smith’s downfall. Six months after tying the knot, then 90-year-old Marshal died.
Following his passing, Smith and Marshal’s family got involved in a long and controversial legal battle over his fortune and assets. The case ultimately went as high as the US Supreme Court in 2006.
In 2007, a tragedy struck beautiful Smith died of overdose in 2007, just a few months after she gave birth to her baby daughter Dannielynn. After her death, several men claimed to be the baby’s dad and after paternity tests were ordered, Larry Birkhead got paternity rights.
Today, Dannielynn is all grown up and resembles both her mom and her dad. In fact, she got the best of both and is a real beauty.
Larry takes great care of his daughter and shares adorable photos of the fun time they spend together. They live in Kentucky and Larry makes sure his daughter’s life is as normal as possible. She attends a public school and has a lot of friends.
Speaking of her likes and dislikes and what makes her happy, Larry says Dannielynn wants to follow into her late mom’s footsteps when it comes to acting.
The girl once said, “It’s really cool to like, act as a character and not yourself. It’s like portraying a new person. It’s fun.” She and her dad have appeared on several shows such as ‘Life after Anna’, ‘Wife Swap‘, and ‘The Millionaire Matchmaker.’
Dannielynn wants to try herself as a YouTuber, but her dad thinks she’s way too young to be doing something like that. He wants her to stay out of the spotlight and enjoy her teen years the way her friends do. Speaking to US Weekly, Larry said, “If it’s something you want to do when you get older, you can, but right now let’s sell some Girl Scout cookies.”
Some years ago, an unnamed source told National Enquirer, “Anna Nicole was seduced by the showbiz lifestyle, and Larry wants to make sure Dannielynn doesn’t end up like her. “[Anna Nicole was] chasing stardom and surrounded by greedy hangers-on.”
However, Larry does his best to keep the memory of Smith alive. Last year, Dannielynn paid tribute to her mom by wearing her heat from her appearance at the Kentucky Derby in 2004 and a pink dress. The resemblance with her mom is there, although as she grows older, Dannielynn seems to be taking more after her dad.
Speaking of her character, Larry told Fox News, “She’s fun and fearless like her mom was. She’s a good kid. I’m just happy that I’ve been able to spend all the time I have been able to have with her.”
At the Barnstable Brown Gala that took place ahead of the Derby, the now-17-year-old wore a blouse with photographs of her mom. Larry wore a tie featuring the same images.
“She’s showing off her fashion sense but at the same time paying tribute to her mom,” Larry said. He added that he and his daughter had decided to pay tribute to Anna Nicole Smith because it marked the 20th anniversary of the day he had met the model back in 2003. At the time, he was a photographer covering the event.
The late model’s clothes are in Larry’s possession so Dannielynn often goes through them.
“And everything she has of her mom’s is cataloged in storage, with photos of the event where she wore it,” Larry revealed.
“So someday, she can give them to her kids if she wants to.”
We hope Dannielynn will fulfill all her dreams.
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